What now my love?

Summer sky fills the view from Computer Station #9 here in the Langley Library.  JOTS is curled into the old beach towel in her porch bed-box on the vardo, Pete is off to Everett and I enjoy another hour at the boards.  Staying in the moment to experience time now, the needs that will come when summer turns to winter can be put on 'pause' and fear is calmed if not replaced with prayers of gratitude.  "Thank God!" for the now I imagined was possible.  Faith needs a respite from the planning, so that is what happened this morning.  As I woke from sleep, still tagged with the remnants of the dreams I thought of a new writing project that could be very fun to cobble together.  Those unedited inspirations are always fun to entertain and like those prayers of gratitude the unedited first thoughts that are free from fear are such precious things.  The writing project has something to do with creating a kind of guide that Nomads such as Pete, JOTS and I would pass along to those who might take up this sort of road -- less traveled, yet as the world spins, might become part of the collective imaginings. 

A year ago Julie Genser creator of the blog and internet community PLANET THRIVE did a interview with us.  The link is here.  That link and onversation we had with Julie continues to be a truthful foundation.  The interview also includes a very useful addition link to another of our blogs that is a place where others thinking of building a mobile safe haven might find practice questions to ask and answer BEFORE striking out on the venture.  The interview is where we began, and now there are things to add.  When I heard my brother describe my life to an old friend as "she's nomadic" a chill washed through me.  It's still difficult to describe ... the feeling.  That writing project comes from my brother's description both because of how he said it, and more importantly because of who he is.  We have long history and the past has etched itself into our lives with common and uncommon threads.

What now my lovely life?  How can we share the journey in yet another fashion that could aid another Nomad?  We shall see said the blind-one.  We shall see.

MCS and the search for safe Community

In honor of MCS Awareness Month, we are posting this co-written article in order to share more deeply regarding one of the most significant reasons that we undertook our current journey around the country. Because we both live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS), finding a safe place to call home is paramount to us, and those who have MCS understand what it's like to live like a "canary in the coal mine" in a world saturated with substances that undermine our health and impair our ability to function effectively...



We offer this article as a missive of support and hope to other canaries, as well as a plea to those without MCS---especially intentional communities---to more deeply understand our plight....

Hitting the proverbial road in a 29-foot mobile home, we began to scour the country for an intentional community or eco-village that offered an opportunity for healthy living. Traversing the East Coast, Deep South, Gulf Coast and Southwestern United States, we visited over two-dozen intentional communities in more than twenty states over the course of seven months.


Many of these communities profess to live close to the earth by using sustainable building and permaculture techniques, renewable energy sources, organic gardening, and other well-meaning practices. In our naivete, we did indeed assume that “sustainable living” would include the use of earth-friendly and non-toxic products, but we’ve sadly found that many such communities simply reach for the cheapest common denominator, with Tide, Bounce, Palmolive, Cascade and other products being the easy mainstream fix.

Our disappointment and disillusionment were great when many visits to such communities revealed that people were often unwilling to “walk the talk” when it came to using safe and healthy products. As to the issue of being fragrance-free and MCS-friendly, most communities appeared oblivious at best, much to our dismay.

---Mary Rives and Keith Carlson


Mary Rives and Keith Carlson are Travellers.  Pete and I became aware of this couple months ago, when VardoForTwo was nearly finished as a safe haven home on wheels.  As Pete and I search and live from our wee wheelie home, Mary and Keith also took to the road in search of safe community doing their reassembled life from a twenty nine foot mobile home.  While the three day Canary Caravan Carnival is history now, this article which can be read by linking here or above, is an important picture of the search for safe housing and community we environmentally injured experience.
http://digitaldoorway.blogspot.com/2010/05/mcs-and-search-for-safe-cmmunity.html

Mahalo to Mary and Keith for this real-life review of the Intentional Communities' measure of commitment to living 'safe enough for canaries.'  Read the entire article for the ICs that are living with practices that might work for some of the chemically injured folk who search for haven on a toxic planet.

Hope springs eternal ... and yet, can we really GO BACK?

Pete and I made an early morning scouting trip yesterday. An offer of a small cottage-home was more than we could pass up. A friend had an idea for us, and we felt that spark of hope light up. Almost without attachment (now, is that 'detachment'?) we were both up very early with potential. I climbed behind the wheel before first light and wound my way through the Everett streets headed for the freeway. Our thought was to get an early before the commuter-drive. It worked in that respect, though we were already part of a thick southward moving clot, the drive was without major sitting in traffic and in less than two hours we were in Olympia.





We found the address I'd written on the back of a reused paper and as promised it was an older single story home in a well-established neighborhood in Olympia, WA. Not part of the 'urban sprawl' the small gray sided home had a single garage and a narrow driveway. There is a part of me, and us that has been tested over and over again. Yes, there are many parts of us that have been tested that way over the years of being on the move. But ... this part is the one that hopes against all odds. This is the part that says, "This one might work."



The key tucked in its hiding place opened the side door which leads into the laundry room. I am not sure whether this belief is a hope that we will be able to return to the world we once called 'normal.' When we talked this morning, Pete was the first to say "We can't go back." The affects of being in the little cottage for perhaps two hours wiped us both clean out. Pete bagged up cleaning supplies from the laundry, bath and kitchen and stowed them in the garage. Though we hoped our friend's description that the housekeeper only uses things that are 'benign' ... a bottle of Palmolive dish soap and Irish Sping in the bathrooms is enough fragrance to send us into another level of being (not such a good place at all!)


We continued to hope. Maybe with the offenders cleared out ... Maybe, this little cottage could house us for the winter and be a parking space for the vardo. The house is heated with natural gas. That should have sent us out the door immediately, but we hoped anyway. The furnace is housed in the laundry room and not a separate furnance room outside; there is no basement. We are not ignorant of the ramifications of an unsafe living space. Still, something happens when you are long on the search and in the steep climb of learning to leave old ways and a way of life behind. Pete raised the temperature on the therostat and the old radiators (filled with water ... benign, yes) heated up. What was going wrong was the burning of natural gas and the emissions that include carbon monoxide. I knew this was a possibility and more than probable. We should have turned around as soon as we saw the furnace. We didn't.


I continued to putter and believe ... especially as one thing after another on our "Safe House Checklist" was answered positively.




1. Does it have a laundry?

• A washer and dryer YES


• Is it electric (vs. natural gas) ELECTRIC


• Is there first-level tell-tale signs of fragrances (laundry products; soap/dryer sheets) NO

2. Is there mold present? Well, yes Olympia is a rain bucket. But no old mold smells filled the house.

4. Does it have a bath tub for long soaks? YES

5. What's the chemical and pesticide history ? THE LAWN CARE FOLK CAME WHILE WE WERE THERE; THEY'VE NEVER USED FERTILIZERS OR PESTICIDES ON THE GROUNDS.

6. What are the floors like? ALL SOLID OAK THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE; TILE IN THE BATHROOMS

Outside and the environs

1. Neighbors adjacent WONDERFUL AND FRIENDLY NEIGHBOR NEXT DOOR! SHE WAS SCENTFREE AND INFORMED (she has a sister who lives with MCS)

2. The neighborhood PROGRESSIVE AND ECO-FRIENDLY

Pete and I walked through the old single story home, both hoping this was a possibility. We considered how the vardo would park; we would sleep in it with a sweet old house where we might even be able to have 'people over' and socialize. The Fantasy of hope is powerful. Within the hour my lungs were burning and my ears irritated. I said nothing yet. Maintaining the hope, I rode back while Pete maneuvered the mid-day traffic. We made a stop at our favorite International District store, found two perfectly ripe persimmons and the last package of Ahi (Tuna) tips for a tasty lunch.

The little cottage will not work for a place to live. We are exposed and no longer in denial/masked with hope. The natural gas exposure has triggered lung problems and asthma for me. I used the nebulizer with compounded glutithione liquid to ease the inframmation and bring the phelm up. Today I need to rest, recoup and accept facts: Going back is not the direction forward. Our tiny home of wheels is less than a year old. We have lived in her since April and have so much more to learn about simplification. I remember my friend Leslie from the Oko Box writting about how long it takes to learn to do things simple. It's the truth. Old habits do hold fast, even when you know it's a futile habit.

From an article "Natural Gas is Unhealthy"

The founder and director of the Environmental Health Center in Dallas, Tex.,
William J. Rea, MD, states that, "Of 47,000 patients, the most important sources
of indoor air pollution responsible for generating illness were the gas cook
stoves, hot water heaters, and furnaces." (Chemical Sensitivity: Sources of
Total Body Load, 1994).Gerald Ross, MD, former president of the American Academy of Environmental Medicine, writes, "Traditionally, natural gas is a pollutant chemical that can worsen both classical allergy and chemical
sensitivity-[patients with complex allergies and sensitivities] will have only
limited success with their treatment programs if they are living in a home that
has natural gas or if they are in an area where there is natural gas
transportation or leakage."

Can any one relate ?

A Jumble of Juggling, Sovereignty & Navigating by the Sky with MCS

Anyone who consciously lives with MCS (there are so many more of us who don't yet realize their experiences are an illness/disease and not just a vivid imagination or undiagnosed allergies) knows that searching for safe and supportive community is difficult. Isolation-avoiDANCE the extreme case of independence brought on by the sole 'cure' for this environmental illness can make a dear soul koo-koo. It's lonely without believers and support. Stories of individual human beings and families of beings who live in cars or attempt to live in a safe-for-them haven are showing up in mainstream news. The world is being called to recognize us. So few outside those who live it understand and respond. Thanks to the work of bloggers and social networkers like Susie Collins (The Canary Report) and Julie Genser(Planet Thrive and MCS Safe Homes), MCS community grows in spite of the inconvenience it creates for the mega industries and yet-to-be transformed systems of industry.

During the eleven months of blogging here at VardoForTwo, Pete and I have added two chapters to our six decades of life on the Planet. In Part I (between October 08 and April 09) we chronicled the process of being in one place for more than a few days at a time; and shared our process of building a mobile and mcs-safe mico-home. Once we hitched that micro-home called VardoForTwo to the rental truck in April of this year, Part II began with VardoForTwo on The Ledge in the Woods. Part II is coming to a near conclusion, and gods willing our Part III will begin sometime mid-October. The blog roll written by MCS Canaries has blossomed in the months since we launched VFT. More and more storytellers are getting it down on the page. A great body of work is becoming part of Earth's history. MCS blogs are important stuff. Every story counts, every anecdotal record makes a huge impact on the truth of Earth's condition at present.

I've added two new blogs and added back another blog that was removed when I did some blog-remodeling some while back.

• First there's Daisy O and her husband are building an MCS safe for them Tiny Home. Those who originally starting following our progress to build Kolea Nani (VardoForTwo) might want to give Daisy and KC (her kane) some support and attention as they create their dream. Tiny, moveable or mobile MCS homes is a relatively new subset of the Tiny Home revolution pioneered by people like Jay Shafer of Tumbleweed. Like anything revolutionary, the seeds of change will grow in people/energy fields ripe for creatively and persistently making changes ... not necessarily adapting, surely adjusting though the qualities that translate. Daisy and her husband are one of those new pioneers. Watch them grow.
  
• Another young woman "AMESTRESS" (real name or not) has been blogging since February of 09 ... this just in ... permission to use this description from Amestress's profile: "I am not how I appear. But then again, how would I know? One thing I know is I am very focused on recovering from MCS."

This is a person with the spirit of a dancer, and she dances a lot on her blog. Movement is vital, move it or lose it comes to mind. I've just begun to read her blog and there is plenty to read with more than 800 posts on Life the Final Attempt (not really!) and she has a wit, spunk and style about her that is well ... pure youth. She reminds me of the energy vibe I get when I visit my friend Leslie who blogs on the Oko Box. I can say that with wistful Aunty love from this side of the mountain with more than sixty solar returns on my Brownie Badge. These women give me hope for a sustaining future. Amestress is dealing with the reality of this illness in a way that seems to fit her. MCS is a serious illness that easily flattens the heartiest among us. Discovering those who are living with the seriousness while maintaining their personality(their Sun sign shining through) ... I would guess Amestress is maybe an Aries, Leo or Libra. If I'm lucky she'll tell me and that would be fun. One thing that I'm learning from my jumble of juggling this life is to find wisdom in lots of places: the internet, the common squirrel outside, my kitty Jotz (pure LEO) and for sure, I navigate by the Sky and the wisdom of astrology.

NAVIGATING by the Sky

Saturn(control) SQUARES Uranus(sudden change) and lots of Neptune in my whirl

I am a Hawaiian, and Pete is a Mid-western born Hawaiian in the heart. Someday we will be back on the AINA (on the islands of my birth). One thing is for sure, my culture travels with me and it spills into our Vardo like coconut butter (yummmmm). I am a Hawaiian activist, a believer in the Nation of Hawaii and the rights of Kanaka Maoli (the first people of the islands) as a sovereign and self-governing nation. Our life as wanderers with multiple chemical sensitivites challenges me to maintain my roots. Distance counts for a woman who needs to 'see her people' and MCS creates such a barrier since I can't be near most of my family because they STINK (Seriously Think I'm Not Kidding ... but still aren't fragrance and chemical free). Anyway, I ramble as I juggle. However, I recognize more clearly today the inseparable connection between my life as a woman with MCS and my kuleana (responsiblity) as a Hawaiian sovereignty activist. Both roles are consistent: they seek to be recognized and respected against all odds. There's a lot to be done to have MCS recognized and the solutions in place of the problems; and the Rights of the Kanaka Maoli have been ignored for more than 100 years. What I see in the sky with Saturn and Uranus squaring off during the coming months is an unavoidable shift in the status quo. Things are going to rock! What roots will fly, what flies will root. (watch for this chant in my up-coming fairy tale Tree Skins.)

HOLLOGRAMS: Truth or Untruth

I have been a rabid learner and fan of astrology even though for decades I really hadn't a real clue of what I was looking at when I read my astrology chart. In the early years, I counted on an astrologer to tell me what was on those charts and I tried to understand things, get a feel for the planets, signs. I read "Your Daily Horoscope" bits from the newspaper and then on-line. See, I've always sought answers from the ethers/others and weighed them against my practical (Capricorn) nature. More recently and particularly since we began building our vardo, Elsa P. from ElsaElsa.com has become a first rate astrology teacher. I'm not putting the gal on a pedestal and she would be the first to say DON'T DO IT. Or, if you do it, it's guaranteed you'll be shooting me down when your projection/veil drops. I'm blattering on about who I am, and how I navigate because it's important to me that those who come here know who I really am. I'm an activist. I'm a Hawaiian. Hawaiians are more than an illusion. We are real people who battle to be recognized. Ah, that sound familiar ... We are people with MCS and we battle to be recognized.

Here's where the astrology of things helps me out. I have Neptune (planet of illusion and magic) in my mid-heaven. It's how people see me. That shifts and changes, people see what they want to see and if I'm not sure ... I might let them see what they want even if that's not really me. Confused? Try living inside this gal for 60+ years. (Just kidding, that is not an invitation!) Here's something Elsa wrote several years ago (click there to read the whole article). It illustrates two things: why I like the way she sees astrology in real life, and what it's like to be living with an illusive illness.


...Real unreality is everywhere you turn. You think something is real (Saturn) but hey! Maybe not!

And personally, I am in element. All the sudden I am making sense to people! Intuition (Neptune) is real (Saturn). Magic (Neptune) is real (Saturn) The ethereal is now real and the real is ethereal and it just keeps going back and forth like that.

I began writing fairy tales once I parked myself on the Ledge in the Woods. In my real adult life decades ago I was paid to write corporate training manuals. One old-time friend commented on my blog, "This is the writing that was waiting to be written." Real or unreality?

Ke Ala O Ka Mahina(the Hawaiian moon calendar)

The 'ole days of the moon just past were powerful. Our choice to become more conscious of Mahina's energy (Lunar energy) in our lives, has established a routine of attending to the how and what we have done in small chunks of time. The 'ole days are review times, not more do times.

From the website the HAWAIIAN MOON CALENDAR:

'Ole Ku Kahi, 'Ole Ku Lua 'Ole Ku Kolu, 'Ole Pau (Seventh to tenth nights)

This is an unproductive time, for `ole means 'nothing', 'without', 'unproductive'. The tides are dangerous and high. The sea is rough and fishing is poor. Some recommend that planting be minimal until `ole pau which ends this unproductive period.

In addition to the 'ole days, I considered the retrograde of Mercury (click on that link for some insight) during these 'ole days and weighed the many contacts and communications we've been having or searching out during the last months and especially, the last three weeks.

We have posted ads, responded to emails and gone back and forth with communications since July with people who might have a place for us to hook-up our vardo and create community with us. The process is hard work, a full-time job and the pay ... is invisible, internal. Like blogging where the blogger can never know who will come to visit/comment/be affected most of our contacts with people are 'stranger meeting stranger.' I know, the internet is all about this sort of relationship, all the more Neptune to spread the mischief of pretense. What is valuable for this post is our intent to be honest, respectful and real in all our communication. Smoke and mirrors abound, and if we pretend to be something we aren't, well we're at major risk. Here's a snip from the latest email and reply between a kind woman who was considering sharing her home with us after reading a flier we left on a bulletin board.

I said,

"Thank you very much for these communications. Our life is one of very clear boundaries, without them we are at risk. We have decided based on our communication back and forth, to pursue other options. Good luck with your search for congenial and trustworthy folk to share your space. I'm happy to learn you are making conscious scent/chemical free choices (she has consciously decided not to use pesticides on her land/home), and wish your daughter safe and gentle times. We are very good people, and you sound like one fine person and a very responsive/loving mom. (Her daughter is fragrance and chemical sensitive). MCS folks are not always as fortunate to have understand and responsive family."

She said in reply,

I have appreciated our communication, and wish you best of luck in your search for the right spot for you both. I have been a bit inspired by the room you built, and am interested in many aspects of healthy, sustainable living/dwelling. It feels like we are so off on the wrong foot in much of our culture, and our immune systems are less able to handle the onslaught. Wishing you fine people good health and happiness.

Mercury continues to be retrograde until the 29th (tomorrow) and there are options for winter space pending ... the options are in our IN BOX, and we're waiting while doing what can be done. This post is something I can do to make my intentions and my identity as honest and real as I can. It will be important as the next chapter of our unfolding lives offers up a blank slate. It is very possible this blog will change significantly when we leave the Ledge. Perhaps with that in my intuitive mind, I wrote Part 2 of the fairy tale WOOD CRAFTING so I'd remember what it was really like to live with fairies, the nature of trees and the possibilities of magic.

From the floor in VardoForTwo on the Ledge in the Woods,
Mokihana


Photo Credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/Egypt.jpg

The search continues during Mercury in retrograde

We are back on the ledge after a whirl of a scouting trip. The good news is: we have found a wonderful friend with a generous and understanding heart. Friend was willing to let us plug into her electricity and park temporarily. The bad news is: the mold and burning in the area are a double whammy of a no-go for us. Both Pete and I were infused with the potential for FUN with this new friend living with MCS ... FUN, that is an important slice of life missing in this journey. So, you can see the glee we felt when we met and visited, got to know and like this new friend. The grief of recognizing that her friendship was not enough to dry up the mold or clear the air of smoke from home fires, outdoor burns/slash burns is something that comes with the search for safe housing.

I was losing faith this morning, stuck in the mud and reaching for answers. On the New Moon just passed (that would have been Friday, the 18th when we set off on our scouting trip) we affirmed "attachment to allies who would welcome us in this coming while." We found them in our Oregon friend and her friends ... My favorite astrologer, friend and ally turned down my money today, when I emailed her about a consultation. Instead she reminded me that Mercury, the planet of communication is still in retrograde (and will be until September 29th). Paraphrasing her, universally everyone must work double over-time to make things work and even then things will be late. Elsa said "So keep your faith and your money." That's why I count her as an ally, and we can take that communication and get on with our life, and our search.

So, today we are waxing the outside of the vardo, Pete has taken the garden boxes apart, and I keep communicating and connecting with potential allies for all I'm worth. We're doing what we need to do to prepare ourselves for a wonderful journey to our next encampment. We're on the journey to find wonderful allies and a safe winter space for us. If you have ideas, allies or a safe winter space ... we're in the market! Tomorrow Uranus (planet of sudden changes) has a thing with Mercury ... so sudden, unexpected communication happens tomorrow. Hope this is great news tomorrow.

Love this life!!xxoo M

ALCHEMY of hope: riding out toxic exposures, inviting saving graces

Pete and Jots taking a good long read in the dandelions

Life on the Ledge in the Woods is culling us down, like a head of romaine lettuce with outer leaves tattered by whatever has happened to it the heart of the whole lies there. Our journey to the Ledge has tested our belief that there is indeed a reason for our being here. Pete and I are stepping through the most recent exposure to herbicides ... denying it can be happening doesn't work, and even the best of safe-guarding don't prevent people from choosing to do harmful things. We have done what can be done at this point: make contact with the State of Washington Pesticide Sensitive Registry person and will get the local applicator of herbicides on the list with the goal of being informed of any future spraying before it happens. Then, there is the issue of testing our drinking water (from a well here on the land) to see whether the ground water is safe. We're checking into that.

It was a difficult time last night, going through the bottoming out of an exposure when the emotions are darkest and the light dimmest. Thanks to Susie Collins' The Canary Report Forum I have found a place to put my question "What do you do when exposed to Herbicides?" out there for feedback. Useful and supportive replies filled me with hope this morning. I use these blogs to express the truth of my experiences. What may not get as much 'press' is the incredibly costly investment of time and energy my mate and caretaker Pete expends while on the clock. It's a full-time job and the pay ... well, the money's not great yet hopefully the fringe benefits remain to sustain him. All you who care for mates and partners, parents and children with MCS are a clan of merit. Thank you.

Another bit of hope and connection came from Julie Genser, Founder of Planet Thrive. We have been in contact with this insightful woman and today she has published an interview with us Vardo folks. We are honored and thrilled to be part of Julie's new website MCS SAFE HOUSING. The interview GYPSY LIFE: Notes from the Diaspora was a thoughtful and thorough conversation that makes me believe there is a purpose for this journey. Humanity is part of a whole multiplicity of life on Earth, it is not the dominator nor the reason for life here. Creating safe homes and being safe for all OTHERS is not a grand purpose ... it is the purpose.

Mahalo to all the Graces in our life.