Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I've started a new group for Canaries (folks living with MCS) who are interested in learning or sharing what they know about astrology. The group has just begun, so if you're interested click on the link below, sign in or sign up to be part of The Canary Report and join in.

Like I said, more and more I will focus on using astrology as a navigational tool related to my life and our experiences with MCS. Every bit of the journey is important, and living with and/or recovery from the effects of environmental illness calls on wisdom from all sources ... seen and unseen. In the weeks and months to come VARDOFORTWO will evolve into something new ... the whole of it is yet to be, so just keep coming back. Storytelling will always have a place here, and fairy tales, and cosmic wisdom including the silly and serious are welcome to join us.



More Astrology & MCS from the Vardo: Pairing Up and Pairing Down


If you've been visiting our place in the while, you may be getting the drift of things changing up here at Vardo For Two and if you're new here (welcome~welina) hope you choose to stay awhile. As Pete and I shuffle and deal out the cards of our life, learning to play this new ECONOMY OF WEE, the rules are difficult to follow ... because in so many ways the rules that have worked in Earth's collective past aren't working now. When you live full-time from a paired-down version of home with an illness that challenges 99% of the collective norm there is bound to be a whole lot of shaking going on even with the best of intentions.

I've begun to fill more and more blog space with navigational tools that are working for me because I think a combination of tools are going to be necessary for all of us mortals as old systems of 'stability'(stock markets, banking systems, money, real estate... all the large and bigger the betters beliefs) fragment. Astrology is one of those navigational tools that has served me very, very well over the span of my forty plus adult years (the twenty years before ... what were those pre-adult?) Perched on the futon-punee of our micro-home, I'm pouring down a few lessons from the sky that seem important as we navigate from KEIA (this place) to KELA (that place). Old friends (that would be you JT) will notice this recurring theme of getting from here to there. This hasn't changed in more than twenty years. I have wandered Earth seeking understanding. Living with MCS isn't so much different as it is more intense and there is less room for creative denial. Facts are facts: I wander and I wonder.

Late yesterday... Mercury (the planet of communication, technology, interactions) is now direct. From the view here on Earth that celestial body is tracking in the same direction, no longer appearing to be traveling in the reverse direction. This happened yesterday, so communications are more direct and what you see/hear is more real than not. Examples of this Mercury going direct, for these two Water Sun Signs are showing up in the communications with people who could become our partners and allies or our 'Pair Up'; and as we prepare to leave the Ledge, the communication shift is showing up between the friends who have shared their space with us for the past six months.

I'm new at putting down my astrological translation onto the blog ... so stay with me, or dog paddle. I hope our experiences will be valuable (and I know it helps for me to see the process in print). I mentioned in a post just a few days ago the fact that we had a couple options for winter space in our IN BOX, and we were sitting on the offer waiting for a bit more energy and clarity to refuel us from the scouting already done. Well, yesterday we kicked in the next exchanges of communication (with Mercury direct now!) and here is what we found. Our newest potential for space is on the drier side of the Pacific Northwest, Central Oregon. After our recent whirlwind trip to the Central Oregon coastline where mold settles into your clothes in the summer, and lingers in your hair just any ole time we decided it wouldn't work for us or the vardo. Moldy folk and a moldy vardo = Swamp City and we can not live that! Okay, with a couple pretty good nights of sleep I woke early yesterday and composed a reply to our potential ally living in Central Oregon.

I write this (paraphased),

"We'd like to come for a scouting trip. If that works for you, and the double doozie of a forrest fire blazing just south of you is contained, we'd like to check out the possibilities."

Do you track the big natural phenomenon that is making its presence known in the area we're thinking might be a good winter space? Yup, fire (Leo) is making his presence very direct as I write, with forrest fires south of Eugene Oregon with EPA readings the other day of double what is considered 'dangerous.'

Our ally responds later that day,

"Great. I think we'd best talk about things that have come up that I think we'd best talk about rather than email. If it's not too much to ask can we talk tonight or tomorrow."

Hmmm. My Capricorn Moon says to my Scorpio Sun who is already on near red alert. I paused, didn't reply right away and sought out my Cancer Sun-Libra Moon Man.

When I told him about the email sitting on the laptop he said,

"Sure, tonight would be great. We can drive into town, go find a place to get cellphone connection."

I'm glad to have a partner who can see a different view, and his Libra Moon calms the love-hate relationship my Capricorn Moon has with power. I don't let my red-light emotions out to him yet. There are often too extreme, so I accept the option for a phone conversation later in the evening and email that decision to our ally.

There's one clue here in the communication that needs to be added to the process. "We can drive into town." Our regular readers know our cellphones don't work on the Ledge, cellphones work if we drive into town or hunt for a clear spot. The clue here is ... it will be dark when we leave the ledge, the park in town is gated off at dusk. Why couldn't we just use the lan-line in the big house across the driveway? Answer: the drain plugged up and the decision to buy and use DRANO to clear the bath-tub happened while we were food shopping yesterday afternoon surprised us.

Communication is more direct now, and if a person's nature style is passive and aggressive it will show up VERY DIRECT. Caustic chemicals are death for me. Refraining from using chemicals and fragrances and wood smoke were changes that our friends who share their land were willing to implement while we lived here on the Ledge. What's become very clear is it's time of us to move on. Old patterns are entrenched and pouring DRANO into the plumbing ... a chemical to clear the lines, was our latest clue. Fortunately, Pete and I were warned that the chemical had been used and stayed away from the house over night.

Back to the potential ally conversation. Pete headed out with me in the co-pilot seat. It was dark, fortunately it wasn't raining and we found a stretch of road where the cellphone worked pulled over and dialed. Within thirty minutes we got the direct scoop.

  • Space #1 with plenty of acreage has a second pair of folks who were 'surprised and not overly thrilled' with the possibility of having two pair of strangers living in the big house through the winter.

  • 'a second pair of folks' burns wood for winter heat

  • We would not have a bathroom or kitchen at either of the space options in Central Oregon

  • We will wait to visit Central Oregon until after the forest fires are under control(and that is maybe mid-October)

  • Here on the Ledge our welcome is wearing thin. The Taurus Native is digging in to his turf and doesn't talk about things, he just does things now. It's a harsh reality and a reality I have been learning time and time again as I relate to the Bulls in my life. Winter brings the harshness of hunkering down in your place. I think everybody and all signs feel that. What is clear with Mercury going direct again is the willingness to make changes can only go so far -->. Our needs and boundaries intensified with MCS, test friendships and test native instinct. I'm perched on the punee using the navigational tool of writing and astrology because they are my allies ... internal allies that serve me. Once I step out into the whirl, there will be more to know, more cards to play, a new deal.
Pairing Up is a mantra that will serve me, Pete and the mortal collective in small and huge ways during the time the Pluto is in Capricorn and Saturn is in Libra. There are lots of articles and info on the net to read for all who are open to those ideas and practical tools. For now, the story posted here is a way for me to nourish my own Capricorn Moon who is scared shi=**less that I will be without a safe home. I put the story down here so I don't carry it around while I scale the mountain that fragments beneath me. Pairing up with allies is important because no one will make it through the fragments with some one (s) to watch your back, help pay the bills, comfort you when you're broken or off-balance when the swirl is over.

We keep keeping on doing and being what we know we can and believe our best is enough. Where it isn't enough we will truly need to call on Grace, Faith, Ke Akua, Na Aumakua(our Fairy Godmothers and Godfathers) and the ancestors to help us out.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WOOD CRAFTING Part 2 The Ledge, Installment # 2 "A place of complete unlikelihood"


Written by Mokihana Calizar
Copyright, 2009

Please enjoy the tale for your own pleasure,
but do not reprint it or copy it for any other purpose without permission from the author.

(see the sidebar for my contact info)

A place of complete unlikelihood

The grand dame of the Wood and her royal fairy friend watched as Pat Nicely and his long time friend finally positioned the golden wagon into place. It was not an easy project, but given the duration of the process of building the wee home, this part of the journey was time most welcome. Pat Nicely and his mate Lokea Bird were in for the time of their lives. The Creators’ salt shaker had loosened the braid of these old people’s lives, and with The Ledge as their new home all that was in need of it, would certainly fall away. Compared to the gabled mansions that rose from the clearings throughout the Wood, Pat Nicely and Lokea Bird’s golden wagon on two wheels could fit easily into a single mansion’s bedroom. Once the wagon wheels were braced and anchored with stout steel pegs and the rear corners balanced upon broad fir stumps, the humans congregated inside the big house across the driveway for a celebratory feast and general merry-making. The Family lived in the big house and included Anna Paint, her mate Joshua Tree and their familiar Jane E. a charming middle-aged chiz-shu who had lost the use of her left eye to a matronly cat named Melissa who had scant tolerance for curious adolescent canine. Melissa had long since passed, and Jane E. is now unquestionably in charge of the household.

“T.F.” Traveling Frog hadn’t noticed his side-kick Calliope Salamander lying on the moist leaves at Tutu’s root croppings. Few among the clan would be so familiar with the regal leader of the Gypsies, but Calliope and Traveling Frog go way back. “Calliope! We have family come to be with us, family of the Other-side and what a beauty they have brought to add to our encampment.” “T.F. what say we get a closer look?” It was really not a question, the slippery one was on the front porch of Pat and Lokea’s vardo before Traveling Frog could shimmy the length of trunk to the ground below. Fortunately for both tiny folk, Pat Nicely and Lokea Bird’s familiar, a sleek young black panther of a cat, Jo was safely housed in her traveling carrier. “Visitors?” Jo asked. Seeing the predator safely locked behind the barred door, Calliope bravely answered. “Pardon me for the correction madame, but I believe it would be you who is visitor for we … Lord Traveling Frog of the Gypsy Fairy Clan and I, Calliope Salamander trace our being here on the Pond of Ever, to a time beyond your memory.” Jo’s golden eyes looked unblinkingly at what she would under normal circumstances consider lunch, or at least, toys. But Jo was also a cat of many lives on the Great Planet with standards and protocol well preserved. “I am honored,” the miniature panther purred, “It is obviously I who is the visitor and from the scents that fill my nostrils I am no longer in the city woods of my origin. There are scents that touch unfamiliar images within me. I suspect I could just as easily be lunch, as predator in your Wood.” Traveling Frog had known many feline in his long life, and had mourned the loss of close friends and kin to the unthinking instinct of cats. Though his kin would lose life or limb to a cat’s attack, the feline would be left with a very bad case of disorientation at the very least and at worst, death if the tiny but potent poison glands were crushed in the pursuit. “You know us by name dark panther, what is the name your people call you?” “My name is Jo, short for Josephine.” Traveling Frog was a stickler for formality and also loved the sound of the name “Josephine.” “If it’s all the same to you I will call you Josephine when we meet new friend, and give you my oath, you will be friend to our clan here on The Ledge.”

Jo knew by the garb of her tiny ‘friend’ he was indeed something special. Perhaps it was the velvet purple cape that covered his green mottled skin, or the iridescent violet crown, more likely though it was the gossamer wings that glistened like stars that ensured Jo’s loyalty. “Thank you Traveling Frog, and if it’s all the same to you I will call you ‘Lord’ whenever we chance to meet. Does that suit you?” Calliope would have blushed with embarrassment if a salamander was capable of blushing. The salamander’s bright orange skin would have concealed any emotion approaching embarrassment, and the truth of it? Calliope Salamander could not be embarrassed. As unlikely an occasion he could never have imagined though. But then, The Ledge was a place of complete unlikelihood …

Monday, September 28, 2009

Manoa melemele

plate lunch
'ohana and kanikapila

Here's what I'm missing back on the island ... birthday plate lunch
and kanikapila in Manoa. Ahhh

A Jumble of Juggling, Sovereignty & Navigating by the Sky with MCS

Anyone who consciously lives with MCS (there are so many more of us who don't yet realize their experiences are an illness/disease and not just a vivid imagination or undiagnosed allergies) knows that searching for safe and supportive community is difficult. Isolation-avoiDANCE the extreme case of independence brought on by the sole 'cure' for this environmental illness can make a dear soul koo-koo. It's lonely without believers and support. Stories of individual human beings and families of beings who live in cars or attempt to live in a safe-for-them haven are showing up in mainstream news. The world is being called to recognize us. So few outside those who live it understand and respond. Thanks to the work of bloggers and social networkers like Susie Collins (The Canary Report) and Julie Genser(Planet Thrive and MCS Safe Homes), MCS community grows in spite of the inconvenience it creates for the mega industries and yet-to-be transformed systems of industry.

During the eleven months of blogging here at VardoForTwo, Pete and I have added two chapters to our six decades of life on the Planet. In Part I (between October 08 and April 09) we chronicled the process of being in one place for more than a few days at a time; and shared our process of building a mobile and mcs-safe mico-home. Once we hitched that micro-home called VardoForTwo to the rental truck in April of this year, Part II began with VardoForTwo on The Ledge in the Woods. Part II is coming to a near conclusion, and gods willing our Part III will begin sometime mid-October. The blog roll written by MCS Canaries has blossomed in the months since we launched VFT. More and more storytellers are getting it down on the page. A great body of work is becoming part of Earth's history. MCS blogs are important stuff. Every story counts, every anecdotal record makes a huge impact on the truth of Earth's condition at present.

I've added two new blogs and added back another blog that was removed when I did some blog-remodeling some while back.

  • First there's Daisy O and her husband are building an MCS safe for them Tiny Home. Those who originally starting following our progress to build Kolea Nani (VardoForTwo) might want to give Daisy and KC (her kane) some support and attention as they create their dream. Tiny, moveable or mobile MCS homes is a relatively new subset of the Tiny Home revolution pioneered by people like Jay Shafer of Tumbleweed. Like anything revolutionary, the seeds of change will grow in people/energy fields ripe for creatively and persistently making changes ... not necessarily adapting, surely adjusting though the qualities that translate. Daisy and her husband are one of those new pioneers. Watch them grow.
  • Another young woman "AMESTRESS" (real name or not) has been blogging since February of 09 ... this just in ... permission to use this description from Amestress's profile: "I am not how I appear. But then again, how would I know? One thing I know is I am very focused on recovering from MCS."
This is a person with the spirit of a dancer, and she dances a lot on her blog. Movement is vital, move it or lose it comes to mind. I've just begun to read her blog and there is plenty to read with more than 800 posts on Life the Final Attempt (not really!) and she has a wit, spunk and style about her that is well ... pure youth. She reminds me of the energy vibe I get when I visit my friend Leslie who blogs on the Oko Box. I can say that with wistful Aunty love from this side of the mountain with more than sixty solar returns on my Brownie Badge. These women give me hope for a sustaining future. Amestress is dealing with the reality of this illness in a way that seems to fit her. MCS is a serious illness that easily flattens the heartiest among us. Discovering those who are living with the seriousness while maintaining their personality(their Sun sign shining through) ... I would guess Amestress is maybe an Aries, Leo or Libra. If I'm lucky she'll tell me and that would be fun. One thing that I'm learning from my jumble of juggling this life is to find wisdom in lots of places: the internet, the common squirrel outside, my kitty Jotz (pure LEO) and for sure, I navigate by the Sky and the wisdom of astrology.


Saturn(control) SQUARES Uranus(sudden change) and lots of Neptune in my whirl

I am a Hawaiian, and Pete is a Mid-western born Hawaiian in the heart. Someday we will be back on the AINA (on the islands of my birth). One thing is for sure, my culture travels with me and it spills into our Vardo like coconut butter (yummmmm). I am a Hawaiian activist, a believer in the Nation of Hawaii and the rights of Kanaka Maoli (the first people of the islands) as a sovereign and self-governing nation. Our life as wanderers with multiple chemical sensitivites challenges me to maintain my roots. Distance counts for a woman who needs to 'see her people' and MCS creates such a barrier since I can't be near most of my family because they STINK (Seriously Think I'm Not Kidding ... but still aren't fragrance and chemical free). Anyway, I ramble as I juggle. However, I recognize more clearly today the inseparable connection between my life as a woman with MCS and my kuleana (responsiblity) as a Hawaiian sovereignty activist. Both roles are consistent: they seek to be recognized and respected against all odds. There's a lot to be done to have MCS recognized and the solutions in place of the problems; and the Rights of the Kanaka Maoli have been ignored for more than 100 years. What I see in the sky with Saturn and Uranus squaring off during the coming months is an unavoidable shift in the status quo. Things are going to rock! What roots will fly, what flies will root. (watch for this chant in my up-coming fairy tale Tree Skins.)

HOLLOGRAMS: Truth or Untruth

I have been a rabid learner and fan of astrology even though for decades I really hadn't a real clue of what I was looking at when I read my astrology chart. In the early years, I counted on an astrologer to tell me what was on those charts and I tried to understand things, get a feel for the planets, signs. I read "Your Daily Horoscope" bits from the newspaper and then on-line. See, I've always sought answers from the ethers/others and weighed them against my practical (Capricorn) nature. More recently and particularly since we began building our vardo, Elsa P. from has become a first rate astrology teacher. I'm not putting the gal on a pedestal and she would be the first to say DON'T DO IT. Or, if you do it, it's guaranteed you'll be shooting me down when your projection/veil drops. I'm blattering on about who I am, and how I navigate because it's important to me that those who come here know who I really am. I'm an activist. I'm a Hawaiian. Hawaiians are more than an illusion. We are real people who battle to be recognized. Ah, that sound familiar ... We are people with MCS and we battle to be recognized.

Here's where the astrology of things helps me out. I have Neptune (planet of illusion and magic) in my mid-heaven. It's how people see me. That shifts and changes, people see what they want to see and if I'm not sure ... I might let them see what they want even if that's not really me. Confused? Try living inside this gal for 60+ years. (Just kidding, that is not an invitation!) Here's something Elsa wrote several years ago (click there to read the whole article). It illustrates two things: why I like the way she sees astrology in real life, and what it's like to be living with an illusive illness.

...Real unreality is everywhere you turn. You think something is real (Saturn) but hey! Maybe not!

And personally, I am in element. All the sudden I am making sense to people! Intuition (Neptune) is real (Saturn). Magic (Neptune) is real (Saturn) The ethereal is now real and the real is ethereal and it just keeps going back and forth like that.

I began writing fairy tales once I parked myself on the Ledge in the Woods. In my real adult life decades ago I was paid to write corporate training manuals. One old-time friend commented on my blog, "This is the writing that was waiting to be written." Real or unreality?

Ke Ala O Ka Mahina(the Hawaiian moon calendar)

The 'ole days of the moon just past were powerful. Our choice to become more conscious of Mahina's energy (Lunar energy) in our lives, has established a routine of attending to the how and what we have done in small chunks of time. The 'ole days are review times, not more do times.

From the website the HAWAIIAN MOON CALENDAR:

'Ole Ku Kahi, 'Ole Ku Lua 'Ole Ku Kolu, 'Ole Pau
(Seventh to tenth nights)

This is an unproductive time, for `ole means 'nothing', 'without', 'unproductive'. The tides are dangerous and high. The sea is rough and fishing is poor. Some recommend that planting be minimal until `ole pau which ends this unproductive period.

In addition to the 'ole days, I considered the retrograde of Mercury (click on that link for some insight) during these 'ole days and weighed the many contacts and communications we've been having or searching out during the last months and especially, the last three weeks.

We have posted ads, responded to emails and gone back and forth with communications since July with people who might have a place for us to hook-up our vardo and create community with us. The process is hard work, a full-time job and the pay ... is invisible, internal. Like blogging where the blogger can never know who will come to visit/comment/be affected most of our contacts with people are 'stranger meeting stranger.' I know, the internet is all about this sort of relationship, all the more Neptune to spread the mischief of pretense. What is valuable for this post is our intent to be honest, respectful and real in all our communication. Smoke and mirrors abound, and if we pretend to be something we aren't, well we're at major risk. Here's a snip from the latest email and reply between a kind woman who was considering sharing her home with us after reading a flier we left on a bulletin board.

I said,

"Thank you very much for these communications. Our life is one of very clear boundaries, without them we are at risk. We have decided based on our communication back and forth, to pursue other options. Good luck with your search for congenial and trustworthy folk to share your space. I'm happy to learn you are making conscious scent/chemical free choices (she has consciously decided not to use pesticides on her land/home), and wish your daughter safe and gentle times. We are very good people, and you sound like one fine person and a very responsive/loving mom. (Her daughter is fragrance and chemical sensitive). MCS folks are not always as fortunate to have understand and responsive family."

e said in reply,

I have appreciated our communication, and wish you best of luck in your search for the right spot for you both. I have been a bit inspired by the room you built, and am interested in many aspects of healthy, sustainable living/dwelling. It feels like we are so off on the wrong foot in much of our culture, and our immune systems are less able to handle the onslaught. Wishing you fine people good health and happiness.

Mercury continues to be retrograde until the 29th (tomorrow) and there are options for winter space pending ... the options are in our IN BOX, and we're waiting while doing what can be done. This post is something I can do to make my intentions and my identity as honest and real as I can. It will be important as the next chapter of our unfolding lives offers up a blank slate. It is very possible this blog will change significantly when we leave the Ledge. Perhaps with that in my intuitive mind, I wrote Part 2 of the fairy tale WOOD CRAFTING so I'd remember what it was really like to live with fairies, the nature of trees and the possibilities of magic.

From the floor in VardoForTwo on the Ledge in the Woods,

Photo Credit:

Friday, September 25, 2009


Whoops, missed a day yesterday with so much going on ... The four days and nights of re-view, re-store and patching the nets/weeding the gardens, hauling in the harvests began yesterday and last four days/nights. Pete and I practice this moon-based time/cycle and I will return to the blog after Sunday.

It's Fall in many places on Earth. What sorts of seasonal shift and reviews are you doing?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Holding Pattern and antennae up!

We're in a holding pattern today. The clouds have moved in and replaced the bright, action-packed days of Fall's first days. We have done a lot to search out our next encampment and are waiting on things, waiting to hear from people and waiting for the new coat of wax to dry on the outside of the vardo.

Between all the communication and activity of the first days of Fall several very interesting new bits have come our way. The issues of Earth beings' birthright to safe housing and safe living environment are primary concerns for those of us who live with the daily reality of 'having' neither. With our Kolea Nani life the search for creative ways to live gently on Earth while also navigating the systems and structures that have not yet been reassembled, we have our antennae poised, keenly aware of groups and individuals who ARE in the process of 'Reassembling.'
These activities have made themselves know to us. Shown up on the radar during our recent searches. Maybe they will be of interest to you, too.

Take Back The Air

Clean air is essential. Period. Our search for a winter encampment escalates our awareness that pollution on the Earth makes living with multiple chemical sensitivities just that much more challenging. I learned about this group during a recent The Canary Report chat. While we were on our scouting trip to the Oregon coast I shared this link with our new MCS friend. She had heard of them ... perhaps that additional chirp will connect the west coast activists to link with these flatlander folk.

Here's what this group is all about: From their home page their purpose is ...

"We are a Minneapolis grassroots organization dedicated to cleaning up the Top Neighborhood
Air Polluters that invade other people's airspace without their permission, exacerbating asthma and causing a host of other health problems.

The top polluters are:
  • Wood smoke
  • Fragrances
  • Scented Laundry Products
  • Lawn Chemicals
  • Charcoal Grills
  • Lawn Mower Exhaust"

Alternative Refuge. Com

Last night or very early in the morning when I was awake before the sun I found this link to a Connecticut group focusing their energy on building environmentally sensitive, affordable homes for people with environmental illness. Again, this link came from my Canary network; someone who knows we are looking for the creative and perhaps not yet created alternative refuge.

I have just begun to skim the website and found it thoughtfully focused and it appears the principal folk involved in this new project have experience with the systems of 'charitable works', governmental systems and navigating the process of funding and bridge-building. There is a survey included on this website that asks for input. Specifically it is supposed (sorry, my laptop is low, low on memory and capacity and I cannot load pdf files ... which this survey is) to be asking for income information. Many of us (including these two old dears) live on annual incomes of less than $15,000 a year. This survey is part of there research and development process. Anyone out there who can download pdf files, and is interested in this project ... I'd love to know what this survey includes.

Alternative Refuge includes the tab on their website

Housing for the Environmentally Sensitive

Or Why is my house hurting me?

There might be something good happening here. It's worth a look see and perhaps a usable resource for our Earth Sensitives.

Habitats Hawaii

Again, yesterday during the Mercury doing its thing with Uranus day of things happening in the sky. A good friend of us emailed us the link to this site. He said, "Have you seen this?" I clicked on it, and answered him. "No, we hadn't"

When we opened the page it was like looking at our own Kolea Nani's twin ... only this vardo called Hele Mai (in Hawaiian it translates, "Welcome, come come!") Habitat was recently built on the island of Hawaii. This newly developing island-based business is working with the Reassembling genes. I began communicating with Barrie Rose from Habitats Hawaii last night, and I hope this will be the beginning of a mutually enlightening community building experience.

The wheelie home is beautiful and includes some very fine touches ... it's the outdoor shower on that vardo I LOVE! The seeds of Reassembling are being sown all over Earth. While we are searching, the vibe of these positive probabilities are showing up. Attracting like energy and having the allies to support the Earthly efforts that is good juju.

On hold and spreading the news. Aloha, Mokihana

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WOOD CRAFTING continues PART 2 "The Ledge"

Fairy tales. The promise of another way to view the world or a way to incise the heart with a different probability? Part 2 weaves another time, same place, more characters. As Pete and I prepare to leave The Ledge, here's what happened on the way to becoming part of that ledge.

(Part 1 of Wood Crafting is still on the side-bar if you'd like to catch-up)

Written by Mokihana Calizar
Copyright, 2009

Please enjoy the tale for your own pleasure,
but do not reprint it or copy it for any other purpose without permission from the author.

(see the sidebar for my contact info)

Part 2

The Ledge

Gypsy Fairydom persists throughout the Cosmos, throughout time, throughout Ever. Unattached to the trappings of broad collections of wealth, the Gypsy Fairies travel light and depend upon the trails of stardust as markers and makers of destiny. Far from invisible the Gypsy Fairy is present in the life of those mortals who appear to have dreams falling down around them. To the Gypsy Fairy, collapsing dreams are simply the signs of Reassembling and an invitation to join in. The braid of mortal life on the Great Planet as this story begins is so far from the wee folk’s value of a destiny fully lived, the strands so tightly woven even the tiniest of fairies can find no foothold. Sprinkled like salt from the Creators salt shaker, the agent of change had begun its work on the lives of humans.

As promised in the beginning, the story of Wood Crafting included two trails … one of which has been sufficiently traveled and though not yet complete, the culture and ways of the Covey have begun to make a mark on your dear coil my friends. The journey from the city of industry was organic, years of slow and diligent work laid the foundation for the new dream the two old people fed with lessons from real life on the Great Planet and hope for something yet to be. Cycles pass differently for mortals, the density of both their bodies and the genetic expectation weighed heavily on the communion with their souls. Though the Grace of each new mortal being continued to be the portal through which stardust mixed with blood, the elevated value of accumulation left so little time to nourish grace. Time on the Planet was compressing, seen from the stars beyond the hold of gravity, the third planet from the sun was aging more rapidly than a planet with such abundance in ordinary times. The spark of imagination and freedom can conjure twists of fate and it seems the lesson of grace kept secret or a talent judged unworthy was tampering with The Great Planet’s destiny. This part of the tale began not so very long ago. I’m not quite sure how to explain so I will simply draw you onto the path leading to The Ledge, and introduce you to Patrick Nicely and Lokea Bird two old though not yet ancient humans in the early stages of a Reassembling Dream.

The sound of engines was now commonplace, though not their favorite sounds by any stretch of the imagination, the Gypsy Folk were adaptable types with a soul large enough to tolerate the roar of the human’s trucks. Life on the Ledge had been one of many adjustments during Traveling Frog’s long, long life. The wild sounds of the high mountains had always included the loudness of his kin in ruckus decibels that might pierce the ear drums of city mortals unprepared for night in the Wood. Gypsy Fairy Folk require very little space as far as a definition fits your lexicon. Seen from the fairy folk’s eyes all space was theirs. However, there came the sound of a truck and the sight of a wheeled human contraption that was not so very commonplace to the folk on the Ledge. The sound of laughter drew Traveling Frog and his family to the fallen stumps that leaned into the side of the Ledge. Two jovial human males with bellies round and faces filled with mirth were making quite a scene on the hard rock path of a driveway a short walk from the pond of Ever. The human with scant hair on his head and a deep voice was waving his hands in the direction of a wagon shaped exactly like the wagons Traveling Frog and his kinsfolk ride when it is time to migrate from the pond of Ever to the Lake several nights ride through the Wood. This replica of a Gypsy’s wagon was brightly painted the color of dandelions with the sky-curved roof line that is the marker for all traditional migratory clans.

With his front legs hitched onto his hips Traveling Frog let out a sound that could easily be mistaken for a hoot, “Hoot, hoot! Stars over easy …we have family come to be with us.” Never without something to say the leader of the Gypsy Fairy Folk stopped short his declaration, hopped nimbly up the length of the old stumps for a better look. The stumps weren’t high enough for his tiny body to see just exactly was happening on his encampment. Tutu the great-great-great grandmother fir grew inches from the humans’ activity that afternoon. She was a woman of easy humor, accepting of change as the wind is accepting of rain and when she saw Traveling Frog’s predicament she leaned casually in Frog’s direction giving her long time neighbor a perfect solution. From Tutu’s outstretched limb the view of the human’s caravan filled the driveway and the shouldering road above.

Traveling Frog and Tutu watched in silence as the human with scant hair on his head repeated directions to an old white haired man at the wheel of the truck. The dandelion colored wagon rocked atop the two black wheels and moved down the slope toward Tutu. Unlike the frog sized wagons that traversed the length of creek bed between the pond of Ever and the Lake, the human’s wagon required wheels. Gypsy Fairy Frog wagons moved with the assistance of creek rocks and stardust. Normally a wagon needed four small stones balanced under the miniature trailer and the dots of dust always visible to fairies, to move effortlessly on the well-worn trail. Traveling Frog considered the design of the wagon he watched being positioned that day: beautiful craftsmanship the builder of this wagon, the lean number of wheels might cause some adjustments; the latched door was beautiful a near replica of the door he had fashioned on his own home; the two sizes of windows on each side of the wee home caused a chuckle. Tutu turned her deeply etched gray-brown trunk and asked, “What causes you glee, Frog?” “I love that our new family has brought a sense of humor to The Ledge. The windows Tutu, they are different sizes. I cannot wait to discover the faces that peer from these windows.” Tutu smiled. She did not let on that the two old humans had come to The Ledge months earlier to ask her permission and offer prayers of introduction and thanks. Though she was the gatekeeper and elder of the Wood here, she respected the domain of the Gypsy Fairy Clan and would make space for the tiny folk to initiate and welcome the humans in their fashion.

The search continues during Mercury in retrograde

We are back on the ledge after a whirl of a scouting trip. The good news is: we have found a wonderful friend with a generous and understanding heart. Friend was willing to let us plug into her electricity and park temporarily. The bad news is: the mold and burning in the area are a double whammy of a no-go for us. Both Pete and I were infused with the potential for FUN with this new friend living with MCS ... FUN, that is an important slice of life missing in this journey. So, you can see the glee we felt when we met and visited, got to know and like this new friend. The grief of recognizing that her friendship was not enough to dry up the mold or clear the air of smoke from home fires, outdoor burns/slash burns is something that comes with the search for safe housing.

I was losing faith this morning, stuck in the mud and reaching for answers. On the New Moon just passed (that would have been Friday, the 18th when we set off on our scouting trip) we affirmed "attachment to allies who would welcome us in this coming while." We found them in our Oregon friend and her friends ... My favorite astrologer, friend and ally turned down my money today, when I emailed her about a consultation. Instead she reminded me that Mercury, the planet of communication is still in retrograde (and will be until September 29th). Paraphrasing her, universally everyone must work double over-time to make things work and even then things will be late. Elsa said "So keep your faith and your money." That's why I count her as an ally, and we can take that communication and get on with our life, and our search.

So, today we are waxing the outside of the vardo, Pete has taken the garden boxes apart, and I keep communicating and connecting with potential allies for all I'm worth. We're doing what we need to do to prepare ourselves for a wonderful journey to our next encampment. We're on the journey to find wonderful allies and a safe winter space for us. If you have ideas, allies or a safe winter space ... we're in the market! Tomorrow Uranus (planet of sudden changes) has a thing with Mercury ... so sudden, unexpected communication happens tomorrow. Hope this is great news tomorrow.

Love this life!!xxoo M

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Scouting trip

We are on the road, on the look-out and seeking allies who'd welcome us.

Have made some new MCS friends, been to one of the most beautiful farmer's market we've seen in a very long time.

We heard something the other day, and we love it. "Fire up. Get it goin..." Okay (not wood smoke that is ... that internal blaze though, we're for that.) That was Barack Obama who was recalling a story when he needed to be infused and got it from a very special someone in the audience.

Okay... we're fired up.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Saint Theresa's Prayer

I get this prayer in my email box several times during a given month. I don't know who Saint Theresa is(was), I love the prayer and appreciate the mediation I get through reading it. My cousin sends it to me and always says to pass it along. I'm passing it along cos if there's something I need to see magnified it's faith. "May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith." Thanks C. I needed that.

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Alchemy of Resilience ... boiling down the bones

If you are a regular here at VardoForTwo, you may have a sense for the diverse nature of our story. The banner photo here of Kolea Nani (our vardo) taken from the trail below the Ledge in the Woods, captures the essence of our lives during this first season of a reassembled life. To me, the photo reminds me of the large, wild nature that is teaching Pete and me how deep and powerful NATURE is. From that vantage point, the golden caravan of a vardo is small. The details and the daily swoops and slips that are our journey through an imploding society are recounted in part on this blog and the blog families that connect to this caravan.

The fullness of our journey could not be replicated here, some of it is unprintable and other parts of it are private and personal. Blogging allows so much disclosure, and then the author (me, and Pete) must set a limit, or create an illusion. Cosmic influences and teachers step in as well, and do things like tinker with the machinery whether the software or the hardware, the affect is clear. Saturn and Pluto, Mercury and Neptune have had their way with my life (and the lives of all here on the Planet). As relates to this blog, the limit of visual disclosure here on VardoForTwo and the other blogs at least for the while, means "No! No more pictures of your true life here." So, again, if you've been a visitor here, you'll notice no photos of our life appear on the blogs. They simply will not come.

Earlier in the week, I wrote a post linking to opinions of others who view the life of VardoForTwo. In that post I leaked some of my emotions that come from negative and hurtful opinions from strangers who know nothing about the real people. Most of the virtual relationships grown through internet communities and blogs are anonymous and stay that way. With the internet, the world of letters once reserved for those who wrote (true) letters using marking tools .... a pen, lead pencil, char sticks; and then books and novels bound and sold or borrowed from shelved housings in libraries became a singular dimensional sphere inviting a new platform for storytellers.

From these platforms called blogs/sites/twitters/facebook opinions, minutia, lies, truths, and threads fill virtual space. My innate curiosity and need to investigate (Scorpio and Mercury conjunct in the 10th house) steers me to seek things out. Combined with Pete's wandering mind and restlessness (Gemini Mars/Mercury) we look at a big parcel of information. That post linking to opinions about our encampment style life shook us awake. Sometimes, when life becomes a near constant diaspora, a layer or web encases you against allowing too much emotion at one time, and we hope the worst won't come. We've been woken to the truth ... there are more solutions to come up with and the existing codes and land use provisions will challenge our way of life.

We are elders, we have lifetimes of being here on Earth and there is alchemy of resilience that amounts to a boiling down the bones and drinking of the broth capacity that fuels our lives. Our search for a winter space in a whirl/world of polarized opposition shines a light on these two old dears. Our search has revealed the land use codes and laws based on protecting the rights of land-ownership. For me, a Hawaiian woman with roots based on traditional and ancient malama the aina and not own the aina principles, ownership has been on on-going reassembling process. Yes, I have been part-owner of two places on Earth in my life. Both experiences have been chaotic and opportunities for becoming who I was meant to be. I 'own' neither of those places on Earth, have benefited from their sales and learned countless lessons about what happens when Earth becomes real estate valued in money. Maybe there is room for another article/post about that at some other time.

Fall squalls are moving in and out of the Pacific Northwest. The light is muted today making this a perfect rest, recoup and reconnoiter day. I'm writing to add to my body of work here, and have eaten three servings of Bone Soup for breakfast and lunch. I'll wrap this one up with a quote from a book that I have not read, rather, I found an article on one of those virtual book shelves. The Weston A. Price Foundation site. Not too long ago, I was experimenting with raw and vegan eating and even taught raw food classes with Pete to a small number of heath-seekers in Hawaii. I was searching for an alternative to removing my thyroid gland. For a time, that way of living and eating seemed to work. Bone Soup is neither raw nor vegan. I live with my thyroid and she continues to give me vital information about the condition of my whirl. That's the thing about us, we are elders who are open to being wrong, and open to being right. Perhaps the lesson of polarization and opposition has something to do with recognizing we could be on the left as easily as be on the right. I'm boiling done the bones like my mother used to, when she made stews from beef and mutton serving up the marrow rich broth along with a bowl of poi on the best of days.

Simple Bone Soup Recipe

Here's how I made our Bone Soup:

Go to your local food co-op and ask the butcher if they sell grass-fed (organic best) beef bones. Or, if you live near organic farmers who raise beef, lamb ... ask about soup bones.

With a small bag of grass-fed bones ... I

Plugged in our crock pot.
Put the bones into the pot.
Filled the pot to the top with sweet, well water.
Chopped an organic sweet onion, and put the onions in the crockpot.
Added 2 T. of organic apple cider vinegar. (i muscle-tested the amount of vinegar since the recipe i read said 'a small amount of vinegar to draw the nutrients from the bones. i came up with 2 T.)
Covered the crockpot.
Turned the dial to HIGH.
Covered the top and sides of the crockpot with foil to keep the heat in overnight.
Climbed in the vardo, and went to sleep.
12 hours later I sipped the first dose of Bone Soup.

Ummmm. My old bones need this Bone Soup.

Pete and I need the nutrients of grass-fed animals with nutrients stored in their bones. It's an unlikely place to be for once veggies. Forgive us our zigzagging choices, we have few road maps that take us where we need to get. So, we keep searching. Here's a snippet of a really nice possibility ... I might even buy this book, and put it in a reading bag to be with the print.

Sally Fallon is the author of Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats (with Mary G. Enig, PhD)
"The truth is that every woman in the world experiences a decline in the level of female hormones and a rise in the level of male hormones at menopause. This is nature's way of equipping the female sex for her new role as forager, worker and sage. Like the male youth of eighteen, she experiences hotbloodedness, signalized by hot flashes, as she prepares for a lustier life than the cloistered one she led as a mother of small children. If she falls for the promises of the estrogen-peddlers, she inhibits the forces that push her into the role of activist and extrovert and throws cold water on the fire that her hormones have set to pry her out of her nest and into the brave new world of adventure and challenge."

Monday, September 14, 2009

One more minute of silliness

Okay, the seeds of Silly and Serious (who knew there was someone else out there ... a major Fun-Maker who has plays with Silly and Serious in his 'inner playground' ) are planted. And my virtual-friends (is that what you call friends you cannot touch in the flesh?) are rooting (is that a pun?) for this planting.

Alright, I'm making this stuff up and geez I see the old 2nd grade teacher in me pulling out the lesson planning sheets. Alright, alright ... fun and games. Let's see.


Think of all the games and things you do for fun ... in your real life.

1. play with the cat
2. giggle to myself
3. do a jig on the ledge
4. laughing yoga
5. tickle Pete
6. make funny faces in the basement bathroom window

Oh, oh ... nothing left on my list (fun life)... I'm gonna need to play more attention.

What do you do just for fun? I need some help here some ideas!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Eyes that view Vardo For Two

When we began building the wheelie home called Vardo For Two a.k.a. Kolea Nani we had come to the end of our collective rope. Pete and I have learned the wide range of options or lack of options that come from living with multiple sensitivities to chemicals, fragrances and toxic attitude. All the seriousness of fleeing one more toxic pesticide and herbicide poisoning took us to the road, living in the Scout Subaru and camping in driveways, front lawns and beach parking lots. Living sick and tired from the Subaru we learned a lot about where and how the community of mortals without walled domicile (houses) are treated and viewed: it is not a kind world when you live without domicile or espouse having "sensitivities" to the smell of new clothes, new buildings, paint, roofing material, 'BOUNCE' and the family of fragrances...

So, the journey of living from the streets led us off our beloved Hawaii island home. We miss the everything about that place, yet we know the reality of chemical use and the goofy (not funny ha,ha, sort) choices that keep making that Island Nation a place we cannot be.

We found a place to build a dream, we called that place The Kitchenette and if you haven't been here long, you might like going to the 2008 archives to read the life from that small space. We built a dream called VardoForTwo and took everything we had learned about researching and testing safe-for-us materials and methods to built a single room mobile bedroom that would require attachment to electricity. A solar operational life would have been great ... and yet, at this time, we will need to remain hooked to the grid. It took us from July 08 to March 09 build a useable home.

Since then, we have been living with our friends S & M on their land near the Olympic Mountains in Washington state. Their walled domicile and their willing hearts have been our co-housing first step dream. We admitted we were powerless to do this life alone, we turned the solution over to Ke Akua ... and these friends have welcomed our morphing and difficult to understand livestyle.

Life on the Ledge in the Woods is an evolving proposition. The space we perch upon would fit in a double car garage in most suburban American plots of real estate. Our set-up and live facilities are simple and depend upon the grace of Nature and her outdoor whirl and to some who watch, the choices we make bring harsh criticism and phrases like "trailer trash." I have taken time to digest the comments that I read on The Tiny House Blog relating to our VardoForTwo lifestyle. I was defensive, hurt, angry and needed time to get this article to speak a truth that sounds like me. Pete's out doing some of his Pete things, so I write for me, and hope it speaks for him.

The link to that article written without our permission is on the blog, and includes comments we have never seen or read here on VFT. I hesitated linking our finished home VardoForTwo on the Tiny House Blog because I knew the tiny house movement is a version of a mobile life for people who live with MCS or EI. What fuels the tiny house movement may or may not be a subset to what fuels life for 'Canaries' with environmental illness. Clearly though, the reasons and the daily reality of a Canary in a Tiny Home are multiply complex and like living on the streets ... the judgements are harsh and insensitive ... because, to be honest you can't know until you have been there.

Our decision to build the VardoForTwo as a bedroom wired only for electrical heat and an air filter to keep the air freed from toxics and toxins means we depend on the 'mother ship' and a walled domicle to live in tandem. Our outside shelter is neither "Appalachia of the '30's" if that was meant to be a put-down, nor trashy. We live gently on the Ledge and make music with the critters, and trees for entertainment.

I hope our readers will go over to the Tiny House Blog and read that article and the comments. That article drew views of the VardoForTwo that we needed (i guess) to be conscious of. It reflects opinions. What it lacks is the perspective of those who live with the affects of a society that wants to look good at the cost of Earth's good. We're two old dears who are working at living with life as it has become. We don't have it all together ... we have it in small bits, and clean up as we go. We have a legacy to pass along and by the gods (who are always watching) we pray that this blog will serve as a great body of work.

Photo credit

Sunday Silliness

The 'ole days and nights of the moon just passed must have really shaken up my hard drive. Thank the gods! All this cleaning and clearing space is transferring some good over this way. So many files of seriousness gets to be too much.

Late last night (about 8:40Pm on the ledge) something drew me to The Canary Report Forum ... 'CHAT' ... something fun ... something sorta new to me this internet social community thing ... there were a few folks there ... two friends ... one old, familiar to me and one a new friend. I jumped in.

Here's the bit that is inspiring me to turn part of every Sunday into Sunday Silliness. By the time I turned the compooter over to Pete for his go round on the cyber-hiway there was just a whole lot of sillines going on there! Goofiness and going back and forth with nothing serious. Oh the shear fun of things that came from folks who live with very, very, very, serious and serious sensitivities.


"What do you call a rabbits walking backwards?"

A receding hare line!

While you're thinking of something silly ... do a bunch of laughing yoga. Laugh out loud .... ha, ha, ha,ha, ha.

"What did the ocean say to the beach?"

Nothing. Just wave.

Hmmmm. This is gonna take some practice. Okay, more laughing yoga ......... ha, ha ha, ha, .....

Pete is helping me with this exercise(occupying the futon, under the covers), this One Minute of Silliness.

"Okay, if you start this you can't go back?"

"Ha?" I'm taken back a step.

"Everyday, you're gonna need silliness EVERYYDAY."

"REALLY?" oH my god, I was caught by the serious demons .... I get it, I get it.

Do a little more laughing yoga .... ha, ha, ha!!!!!

Oh, ho, ohhh ... one of my very funny, sweet and saucy friends Leslie R over at Oko Box has one of the giggliest photo and post with comments about HUGE SUNFLOWERS. Click here to go there.

Your first dose of Sunday Silliness from the Ledge in the Woods inside VardoForTwo.

Now ... you go

Photo Credits above: Laughing Hyena and Maitrey laughing buddha

Got a joke?
Share some Sunday silliness right here.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Old and new ... what happens when you weed?

The 'ole days and nights of the moon were good for weeding through the old (files, bags and boxes under the vardo) and resting from the busy lives that these old dears call our own. I found an old article I wrote in 2004 among the hundreds of old files that needed tending. You know how old files need to be tended? Keep/No-keep. Save/Delete. Wait. Nap. Tea-time.

Here's one of the files I decided not to delete, at least not yet. Click here to go to "Makua O'o" for a bit called A Name of Her Own.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

'OLE Days of the Hawaiian Moon Calendar: Wednesday, Thursday, Friday


(whoops, there was a slip in my brain and I have corrected that ... 'ole days start today, Wednesday and last through Friday ... oh my ... mistakes happen ... :))

The three day and nights of the Hawaiian Moon Calendar begin today. We review, revisit and weed through the doings and thoughts of the past active weeks during these 'ole days. If you are a new visitor this is a practice Pete and I observe to honor our connection to the energy of Mahina (the moon). Click on this if you'd like to read a good bit and commentary on ElsaElsa about the value of the Moon and Culture/Roots.

Here's a snip of what Elsa has to say about Moon Energy:

"I have written before how our culture worships solar energy and devalues the Moon. This is a major mistake. Whether you like it or not you come from a clan and your roots go back and I mean WAAAAY back."

Gods willing and navigational tools intact, we will be on our Oregon coast winter home-scouting trip for a few days ... wish us luck and send prayers for "right space, right place, right people" our way.

If you haven't read Wood Crafting, my eco-fairy tale/kahea for the times go to the sidebar and find the 11 installments of Part I "The Covey" just there ... to the right.

A hui hou,
Mokihana and Pete

Monday, September 7, 2009

Search for a Winter Space

***Mature, quiet, responsible couple

living in this Wee Wheelie Chemical Free Haven


seek quiet, house/shared space in the Newport – Yachats area of the Oregon coast

on the American Continent.***

My husband and I are looking to rent a studio cottage or one-bedroom cottage

or rent one bedroom in a larger home

with space to park our 8’x12’ white oak/milk-painted Vardo

in the Newport - Yachats area.

Our ideal situation would offer clean, fresh air (free of wood smoke) and a pesticide/chemical free environment.

We have built a chemical free mobile haven as a single-room safe bedroom/ parlor

to accommodate our multiple chemical sensitivities.

We live with an outdoor kitty named JOTS who lives in her own house on the porch of our Vardo.

Our needs are simple and non-intrusive (we are very quiet old dears):

Share a chemical free electric appliance kitchen

and use bathroom facilities

And if applicable we would share laundry facilities

We are able to pay up to $400 monthly

for shared housing and hook-up including utilities,

and would happily work (doing home repair and Back-to-Basics cleaning)

in exchange/partial work exchange

for a snug and safe winter place.

Do you have a snug, safe space to rent?

Email Mokihana or Pete: with SUBJECT: Winter Space

Dear Readers,

This is the ad we are creating to seek a winter space for VardoForTwo. If you have comments, ideas for better copy, or a place/space that would fit this description ... please let us know.

That space is there somewhere ... we just need to be where it is.


Mokihana and Pete

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Time for shearing

After more than five months of quiet there is activity again over at our twin site, Sam and Sally. That place where sensing more than thinking opened doorways to the Muse, is tapping into me. We have no idea where our VardoForTwo will be welcome in the whirl ... we continued our search for a winter encampment and for the now the answer is still , "not quite."

Wanderers and old dears such as we need a place to be reminded about sensing place above the thinking. Being open and patient about the search even as the weather seems in a rush to transform, takes faith. If you are a wanderer your own dear self, perhaps the conversation between the Storyteller and Sal will suit you Seems it may be a time for shearing and I am in need of the lesson. Click here to listen in.

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Lei Mokihana

Today my family back on the Islands celebrated the life of my cousin.
Pete and I drove to town from the ledge in the woods to make the phone call ... it would allow us to talk with 'ohana after the service was pau.

We drove the 12 miles into Belfair and pulled into the parking lot.
I spotted the unearthly brown telltale signs of herbicide.
We moved.

My cousins had gathered for after the service family time, I pressed the loudspeaker button and both Pete and I talked with Mokihana's sons, her brother, her two sisters, a sister in law, and the cousin who read the eulogy I wrote for the service.

My son could not be there, he was off Island teaching lomi lomi (traditional Hawaiian body work)
to a halau hula (school of hula) in Paris. His plans had been made before my cousin's passing.
I know she will say, "Maika`i," to that. All things Hawaiian all the way!

It was like being there, almost.
We are far away and as close as we could get.
Living with MCS is a distancing disease, and there's no getting around it.

What helped today was to hear my cousin say, "Well, at least you folks have had time to stop running for away ... throw the anchor down ... rest for awhile." He truly gets what our life is like, we slept in our car on his front lawn in Kailua on the Windward side of O`ahu
for almost six months during the height of our time of flight and running from the chemicals.

Life is short, precious with all its challenges, deep troughs, sad times and messiness.
In it all there is joy too ... and in the background we could hear the ruckus ... laughter
... some of the best sounds in life, seems to me.

to you tita ... all our aloha,
Mokihana and Pete

Friday, September 4, 2009

Happy Anniversary to US

Today is our 5th anniversary. These two old dears found each other later in the whirl and after 10 years of getting to know the other, we have been a married pair for 5 spins around the sun. It has been a most incredible journey. Big shiny love has lit the way for me when things were darkest. Life is not easy ... it is something though, many many wonderful things.

Happy Anniversary, Pete!

An unexpected visit

"It must be the moon ..."

If you are new to the blog family that has nurtured the stories here at VardoForTwo you may be unfamiliar with Sam and Sally. Without them, VardoForTwo would still be a fleeting thought, a dream dreamt by someone else.

I made an unexpected visit to Sam and Sally very early in the morning and if you are curious about what happens when the muse wakes you in the moonlight,
click here.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wood Crafting: Installment #11: Two parts the whole

Photo Credit: Oregon Tidepools

The final installment of Part I "The Covey" follows. The characters and threads of connectivity have laid a net between whirls that seep from dreams or pour from the lips of stardust. These are the sorts of activities that fill the gap between 'here' and 'there.' Always there is a bit of space in the zipper of reality, a place where interpretation allows parallel or intersecting NEXTS or NOWS.

Written by Mokihana Calizar
Copyright, 2009

Please enjoy the tale for your own pleasure,
but do not reprint it or copy it for any other purpose without permission from the author.

(see the sidebar for my contact info)

Two parts the whole

Freeilll Noa found his brother surrounded by kin. In the middle of a good joke or a tall tale, Kaimalama Noa loved attention. My father waited till the laughter and con ended and approached his brother, “The day is bright, the sun warm and the winds seem to have returned to cool us again.” The rustle of palm fronds and the bend in the resilient trunk caught Kaimalama by surprise. “Makani?” My uncle recognized the feel of the wind that always accompanied the reef croppings. The two brothers fixed eyes and Kaimalama knew. “You have found the puka … the hole in the Cosmos?” “Yes.” “The fish, the polyps …” “All freed, returned and safe with family,” my father’s voice was even and without emotion. “You cannot know what it is like to keep secrets. How could you know how differently we grew when on the outside the covey saw nearly identical Grey? What grew so differently for me hides here.” Kaimalama Noa turned his back to his twin, raised his great wings and parted the feathers on his right side to reveal a ridge of calcified bone … a barnacle. “Grown since our warming, the barnacle replaces the right side of my filtration system. Where you breathe, ingest and release food, drink and grace I live with the additional need to hold tight … to grasp to survive.” Freeilll Noa wrestled with understanding and found it difficult. Kaimalama retained his bearing, though his breath was shallow and quick. “I live with conflict every moment of my life Freeill. A part of me must do what is completely wrong for the All. When we were younger the need was easy to ignore. It was easy to lie to myself, convincing my urges to be still. The urges have out-grown the promises I have made to them. They wait no longer. To survive I must collect and store things I value.”

Is it wrong to want? When does a personal desire for things of value tamper with the balance of All? What was the compromise and recipe for Reassemblage? How does a secret revealed change things? These questions and more tumbled through my father’s mind as he sought a solution.

“Am I the only one, beside Honu, who knows this about you?” “I believe so,” my uncle answered. “Leyla?” “She has no thought of my need to collect, to keep.” “Would she not have heart enough to make a difference offering you understanding and perhaps a compromise? Your mating doubles your destiny.” My uncle interrupted, “She is not a Grey Freeilll. Her grace is beauty and she maintains it without effort, and charms her way through the most impossible of predicaments.” My father thought of beautiful Leyla and remembered the countless episodes of joy she had brought to the covey. Her laughter … “Is your love not enough to fill the void that you feel?” “It is large, the love we share but it is not enough to make me something that I am not.”

Freeilll Noa considered another approach, “What is it you value brother?” Simple enough a question would you not think dear listeners, and yet it was precisely the question never asked of Kaimalama Noa. “What is it I value?” Staring long into my father’s eyes Kaimalama Noa considered the many wants he had hidden throughout his long life and weighed them as if on a scale to determine their value. My father recognized the depth of his question, sought no easy resolve and instead offered his brother this: “This is an answer that will affect many. This answer reassembles the link between beings and sets to right the destiny of small and large. Take as much time as you need dear brother. I am not your judge.” Story tells me that my father remained where he spoke and watched his brother walk to the ocean’s edge. Like my father Kaimalama was graced with the coil of Honu and in fact his name means “Caretaker of the Ocean.” As the gentle surf wrapped around Kaimalama’s body the transformation was quick, and the dive silent. The journey downward was taken without forethought. Kaimalama knew the Leviathan waited. He felt unexpectedly calm as he neared the ancient birthing place. Palaoa and Honu swam from the channel that led from the Pond of Ever and greeted their kin. “The day is bright, the water cool and it is a day of greatness. It is good to share this day with you Kaimalama Noa.” Palaoa was especially fond on this twin though in all the cycles of Kaimalama Noa’s life their bond was never clear. The ancient Leviathan Palaoa was honored and respected for her long memory embracing time in the oceans that mirrored the huge cavern of Palaoa’s brain and body. Yet there was something small and nearly intangible between them. Today, the small became grand as Kaimalama approached the great whale he said, “Kupuna nui … great ancestor, between us we share the tiny being Barnacle as coil. I wear it now behind me and until this moment I have lived with its value hidden, a secret. What value does the Barnacle give me when it must cling to me … to you, to something in order to survive? I am well passed a hundred cycles, no novice to the flow of being and yet the journey to satisfaction for my soul seems just begun.” Palaoa conned to Kaimalama, “Come to ride with me. There … a step for you at my side will allow you to ride my back. Another barnacle clings to my opposite side both will serve you as I travel. I will move slowly, alas what is slow to me may seem a comet or tidal wave. Hold sure, the barnacles will remain fast.”

My uncle did as he understood the great Leviathan wished. The barnacles were massive, old calcified filters that must have lived hundreds of cycles over attached to the side of the cetacean. Kaimalama stretched his legs and claws to grip as best he could, his claws found clipped access to the barnacles on either side. “Ready?” Palaoa asked. “As I can be.” Kaimalama conned unsure of his circumstance he simply called for faith. The great whale propelled herself with a graceful heave of her tail fin, the movement was powerful water moved past rider and whale as Palaoa began to sing. If you have been privileged to hear whale song you will understand the ancient calm that fills your soul when a whale sings for you. Resonance that began with the vibration of Palaoa’s first chords swam through the clinging Wood Crafter. The song was beyond reason and words will fall short of description. From the depths of the great ancient birthing place Palaoa crossed the ocean passing the magnificence of variation that is ocean-life. Everywhere Kaimalama looked a surface was covered or clung to; no empty place existed, and no place was left without companion or occupation. “EVERy thing serves another … any WHERE my eyes turn I see the shared benefit of a space once empty.” Palaoa continued ending the ride at the placid surface of the pond of Ever. “You are here,” the whale said. “You have always been complete, graced with the grand nature of Grey and as well you have served a tiny creature whose nature is no less valuable. In the warming what could have been symbiotic between small and large turned parasitic. Today is a perfect day for reassembling the beliefs of ones life. Begin anew all that is unnecessary must first be reassembled. Start again Kaimalama and care for your self as you would care for the ocean.” “Mahalo, great mother.” My uncle was weak from the exertion of the ride and yet, clearer of spirit than he had ever known. He rested in the shallow fresh water pond, floating as he gathered his experiences to a space of calm within him. Sunset completed the day, and still Kaimalama rested, slept and when the moon rose in the darkened sky the dreams came to him. Wants, old regrets and wishes never expressed or acted upon visited my uncle throughout the night. The pond embraced him without expectation, soothing erasures and replacing lost spaces. In the morning Kaimalama spread his wings for the journey south.

My father heard the splash and turned to see his twin. The brothers faced each other, touched foreheads in greeting. Kaimalama wasted no effort as he offered the lesson learned. “I have traveled with Palaoa, listened with my whole body the song that is as old as water. With barnacles as big as abalone for stirrups I straddled the old mother and found the answer to your question, “What do I value?” Freeilll knew his brother as a comedian and easy joker, often unable to speak without making light of a request. Today, a kind of mask felt from Kaimalama as he conned clearly and without apology, “I value the right of reserve.” My father cocked his head as if a different angle might aid in his understanding of the comment. “Reserve, you value the right to reserve what?” “I value the right to keep somethings private … not secretive exactly. I simply know that my life of clinging and believing that I must horde … keep more than my share, came from not being able to be different from you. Replication is not what Creators’ purpose was. It was diversity, variation. Somehow our covey and our kin focused on the large and visible ‘GRACE’ that doubles our worth. The small and less visible, the nearly invisible graces are left to scramble in darkness with no access to light. This … lifting his right wing to reveal the barnacle … is a part of me left to long in darkness. It has value, I give it worth. Small grace can make big differences, or at the very least it will do no harm. Denied though, the tiny grace can become,” Kaimalama rewound Palaoa’s song and remembered the word. “Denied, the tiny grace can become parasitic. That is what I have lived with these one hundred cycles.”

Freeilll Noa … twin whose birthright and grace is to free the ill-gotten from a space where nothing but the same can occur came to understand the riddle.

A very small creature … the barnacle attached to his twin

A promise broken … grace be nurtured and embraced

A secret kept … grace hidden becomes twisted and ill-gotten … parasitic?

“Where does that leave us Kaimalama? How does a reassembling begin to make things right for the Cosmos?” Kaimalama Noa had considered a solution that would maintain its value into time yet to come. The flight south from the pond of Ever gave him time and access to the stardust that trailed from stars north to stars south. The ride upon Palaoa’s huge back filled my uncle with a knowing that sustains his vision of the future. “I will not be the last to carry the spell of clinging to the point of drawing off more life than I return. There will be a race, a kin that will cling to EVERYthing they see as shiny and delightful, because they believe it the only way they will … Kaimalama struggled to find the right words or imagines to share with his brother. From his na`au his gut Kaimalama heard Palaoa’s song … each serves the other and there is balance. “They will collect more than is needed to have a full life and a satisfied soul. Here is what I have decided. I will become an example. For as long as my destiny within this body persists, I will spend one half of my life as barnacle. I will tend to the Grace of clinging and view life as a filter dependent upon something bigger than I to survive, and yet I will do no harm during this. My kin as Wood Crafter will not recognize me as barnacle, and my kin as barnacle will not know me as Wood Crafter. The coil of Honu that remains true for both of us will serve as our common link regardless of my cycle.” My father was not sure he understood. His brother reassured him, “Yes that is exactly what I mean.”

My father conned his queries in his brother’s direction, “You will live half of each cycle as a barnacle and the other half as Wood Crafter?” “Yes.” “You will take nothing of your separate lives to the life as barnacle or Wood Crafter?” “Yes.” “And yet, the coil of Honu, the transformative nature that is our shared Grace will be yours both as barnacle and Wood Crafter.” “Yes. The reassembling is significant and sings forward for generations to come … perhaps sixteen generations to come. Wood Crafter covey and the kin of barnacle and creatures small will be affected by the coming of these spell-carrying beings. My example will teach me things I have no guess as to what. What I do know is that a secret shared makes things different.”

Greys among the coveys of the Cosmos changed from that morning forward into memory, when the twin Noa brothers of the Islands parted that morning many, many, many mornings ago. Kaimalama Noa went to his beautiful Leyla and conned his revelation as truthfully as he had to his twin. The beautiful Leyla embraced the great handsome fisherman and asked simply, “When will it begin?” Kaimalama softened his posture and returned his mate’s question with the love of Ever and answered, “Soon, but not yet.” There were things the pair would need to do before the reassembling could continue. There were ninety days, and they would use them all.