PREPARING for the Canary Caravan Carnival May 14,15,and 16th

The first MCS Blogger and Allies Carnival is coming up in a month.  Here are a few dates, astrological transits and their implications for being in the flow of things, and a deadline for crafting your submissions.

Mercury goes Retrograde on Saturday, April 17th for three weeks through Tuesday, May 11th

Sandra & David Mosey from Zodiacarts create a valuable tool of Moon Phase Calendars.  Here is what they have to say about Mercury in Retrograde.  I'll use this guidance to try to say in the flow of things as I organize this very first Carnival.  See how their insight might work in your life.

While Mercury is retrograde, familiar channels of communications become tangled and confused. Expect delays and changes in plans. Use this time for researching and problem-solving.

 This is a great time to rewrite and edit, rework an old project or successfully repeat a task. Reevaluate and reconsider, but hold final decisions and approvals until Mercury goes direct.

The tendency is to initialize or finalize projects prematurely. The contents of verbal or written contracts and plans made now may later seem inadequate or unclear. This is not a good time to buy on the spur of the moment without investigation.

This is also not a good time to purchase electronic equipment or cars. Major purchases may be reduced in price after the retrograde period and you can save money by waiting. Major repairs or surgery performed now may be incomplete or plagued by unexpected repercussions.

Double-check and reconfirm every detail. Typed or written errors are easily overlooked, paperwork mislaid, appointments forgotten. Let your sense of humor overcome the challenge of unexpected adjustments.

'Ole Cycle of the Moon of the Hawaiian Moon Calendar begins Tuesday, April 20th for 4 days through Friday, April 23rd
(Sorry for the inaccurate dates previously posted)
Attending to the energy of the Moon, Mahina, in my Hawaiian culture is a valued practice for me and Pete.  We need the guidance and structure that suggests rest or review rather than pushing forward on agendas or projects that really need to be wait.  Much like the longer cycles of Retrograde, as in Mercury's retracking, the 'Ole Cycles are mini reviews like the 10th Step in a 12 Step Program we continue to take personal inventory and when we find something to adjust, or make amends for, the opportunity is there for the taking.

No new posts on our blogs happen during the 'Ole Cycles so this post prepares our readers for our absence as we do the internal work of sorting, weeding, reconsidering, and editing what has already begun.

DEADLINE FOR CARNIVAL SUBMISSIONS:  Monday, May 10th.

So, to all you bloggers and allies who are collaborating with the Muse, and considering the story, prayer, prose, photography, activity, exercise, or whatever else that suits you keep this deadline in mind, please.

Please email me your submission on or before, MONDAY, MAY 10th.  I will assemble and organize the 3-rings of our Carnival with posts over the three days, using the flow of activity that Mercury, Mahina and life as I know it.  My email address is ssvardo@gmail.com.

Link here for the full description of the Categories for the Carnival.  Join in with your MCS related stories, successes and submit to the TAP dance that adds such diversity to our lives so often engaged in avoiDANCE.

Hope your day includes moments of joy and laughter, insight and love.  I wish that for my own dear self as well.

Mokihana

CANARY CARAVAN CARNIVAL ... the excitement builds

MAY, 2010 is MCS Awareness Month on The Planet and an excellent time for Canaries to spread the word about Multiple Chemical Sensitivites.  Events and activities are in the works, and here at VARDOFORTWO we are planing to gather and celebrate the grand and the mini-step successes of a life lived well.  For three days--FRIDAY, May 14, SATURDAY, May 15 and SUNDAY, May 16, bloggers will circle the wagons and bring their TOOLS, ALLIES and PROSE to the first three ring circus of hope, innovation and inspiration for those of us who live, thrive and learn from the experiences of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities.

I'm so excited by the wonderful positive response I'm getting from the 'ohana of canaries who want to be part of the whoopa!  So far these friends are adding their ika (energy) to the excitement:

Mary and Keith who author Mary and Keith's Excellent Adventure!
Susie Collins from The Canary Report
Liberty from Moving Beyond MCS
Julie Genser from Planet Thrive

I have emails of invitation ready to send to other MCS friends, and allies of MCSers who bring insight, joy and positive energy to the Canary Caravan Carnival.  Since my last post about the Carnival, my brain has been storming (in a good way!) with topics for our three ring circus and storytelling jamboree.  So far, it looks like these are the three basic categories for blog posts/articles/activities.  Like a good TAP DANCE, we'll fill the Canary Caravan Carnival with our brands of cavorting.

The three rings or circles at the Canary Caravan Carnival of storytelling and sharings will offer:

Tfor Tools, totems and tangents

Toot your hoot with the tools that make your life with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities a life-in-progress.  Tell your stories about the totems -- images, charms and sign-posts that tether you to your strength and serve as affirmation to the unique being you are.  Tangents are the unexpected and often unplanned paths or off-shoots of a life planned; places and experiences that spontaneously happen because we are human and because MCS might have had something to add to the old 'normal.'

Are there tools, totems and tangents that make a difference in your everyday, or perhaps showed up at the perfect time along the way?

A for Allies, angels and angles

We are in this space ship together!  No doubt, that there are times in each of our individual lives where we are lonely, and more often than we'd care to believe, MCS can become an isolating reality.  Through the vessel of cyberspace -- the internet and blogging, the connection with Allies we could not have imagined become part of our net of belonging.  Personal and collective angels come into our lives and a new and unplanned angle appears as many of us connect to the vast universe, the stairway to the nurturing celestial bodies or the sound of nature that persists inspite of the odds.

Share the allies, angels and unsuspecting angles that support you in your journey. 

Pfor Prose, poems and prayers

Canaries, those of us who have included all manner of masks to shield or filter the toxic effects of others' choices also find creative expressions to make sense of life with change.  The mask can also be an incredibly vibrant and beautiful second-skin or other face that says something grand/potent/humorous/gut-wrenching about our experiences at the moment.  Story in prose, poems and prayers have long been a way for the human being to connect and communicate with the god/goddess/higher power within. 

The Canary Caravan Carnival offers a circle for the stories that you have found, written or created to connect with that power that is ever present. 

If you would like to contribute and make a submission to the Carnival, please leave a comment in the Comments or email me with your idea/submission:  ssvardo@gmail.com  Let me know which category you'd like to be apart of, too.

More details and a deadline for submissions will be posted as the days and nights roll.  There's still plenty of time to join in, so please feel welcome to add your uniqueness to the activities.  Help me fill in the white space, and be unafraid to color outside the lines (ahhh...there are no lines!)

Let our canary roars be heard!


Aloha,
Mokihana

Clipart credits go to  http://www.designedtoat.com/  for all the graphics, save for the canaries

The Canaries Caravan ... a BLOGGERS CARNIVAL to Celebrate MAY MCS Awareness Month

May is MCS AWARENESS Month throughout the globe.  Susie Collins and the community of canaries at The Canary Report have been chirping and organizing for months in preparation for MCS AWARENESS Month.  For our regular readers, the journey of these two old dears as we learn to ID the realities of environmentally triggered illness is what weaves in and out of the stories, posts and links we put here at VardoForTwo.  Over the while those who come to this blog place become witness to the multiple schemes of experiences a being has as the illness and the conditions affect who we have been; and the core of our humanness morphs, uncovers or becomes more and more who we are ... new, different, unexpected, triumphant, shattered, debilitated, recreated.  All or none of these might suit on any one day, at any one moment.

Today is April 1st ... APRIL FOOLS DAY.  A perfect time to announce a sort of bloggers' carnival.  It would be fun and empowering to use that month of may to give voice to the very well and very resilient force of human power alive in the examples of women, men and children who live with MCS.  I'm inspired by the wonderful Astrology Carnival that my cyberpals CJ Wright and Donna Cunningham concocted to celebrate National Astrology Day.  No fool'n!

Here's the idea ...

• Friday, May 14, Saturday, May 15 and Sunday, May 16 are CANARY CARAVAN Days it's a time to circle the wagons and come to tell our stories.  We who live with the affects of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities are as similar and different as the shades of yellow, or the hues of the color blue; there are so many shades of yellow or blue (or green or purple) and what we know comes from who we are at the core.  Posts by bloggers with links or related articles will appear on VardoForTwo on these three days.  Written to inspire and offer space for the incredibly rich and creative expressions of our lives I hope to circle the wagons for a time of collective strength.

• I will be chatting behind the scenes with my blogger friends who live and thrive with the realities of a life affected by MCS, hoping to enlist the help of two other bloggers who will also post CANARY CARAVAN stories on their blogs.  Even as I write this to the page, all is not firmly in place so if you have ideas or thoughts please leave me comments or email me at ssvardo@gmail.com.  This is a totally new project for me so please join in.

• There may be categories of stories over the three days of CANARY CARAVAN.  I'm thinking:

1. Poetry and Prose:  Words and images poems, a photo essay or short story that reflect your life with MCS
2. Tools and Practices:  Stories about the medical, physical, emotional and spiritual supportive practices that aid and create foundations for an evolving life

What other categories would you like to see at the CANARY CARAVAN?

We have six weeks to put together some really fun and inspiring blogging that can educate, infuse and make a difference.  If you're interested or curious let me know in the comments or email.

Aloha,
Mokihana

Gypsy Caravans Photo Credit:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1dd46zqevGTbXvZ7X7gaJP0OYlKAqebHKEZLRjLm8ehyRaUpZsglAZJv4Ba_hb0eZT8noAI9pYmJ4Nbvc3p7hEqsx-Y0odERpIjktPkwDSC22uef910eT5D3xw3LJ4TlmZ6h9jd9r1Gg/s1600-h/gypsy-caravans-pic-sm-41652864.jpg

A Jumble of Juggling, Sovereignty & Navigating by the Sky with MCS

Anyone who consciously lives with MCS (there are so many more of us who don't yet realize their experiences are an illness/disease and not just a vivid imagination or undiagnosed allergies) knows that searching for safe and supportive community is difficult. Isolation-avoiDANCE the extreme case of independence brought on by the sole 'cure' for this environmental illness can make a dear soul koo-koo. It's lonely without believers and support. Stories of individual human beings and families of beings who live in cars or attempt to live in a safe-for-them haven are showing up in mainstream news. The world is being called to recognize us. So few outside those who live it understand and respond. Thanks to the work of bloggers and social networkers like Susie Collins (The Canary Report) and Julie Genser(Planet Thrive and MCS Safe Homes), MCS community grows in spite of the inconvenience it creates for the mega industries and yet-to-be transformed systems of industry.

During the eleven months of blogging here at VardoForTwo, Pete and I have added two chapters to our six decades of life on the Planet. In Part I (between October 08 and April 09) we chronicled the process of being in one place for more than a few days at a time; and shared our process of building a mobile and mcs-safe mico-home. Once we hitched that micro-home called VardoForTwo to the rental truck in April of this year, Part II began with VardoForTwo on The Ledge in the Woods. Part II is coming to a near conclusion, and gods willing our Part III will begin sometime mid-October. The blog roll written by MCS Canaries has blossomed in the months since we launched VFT. More and more storytellers are getting it down on the page. A great body of work is becoming part of Earth's history. MCS blogs are important stuff. Every story counts, every anecdotal record makes a huge impact on the truth of Earth's condition at present.

I've added two new blogs and added back another blog that was removed when I did some blog-remodeling some while back.

• First there's Daisy O and her husband are building an MCS safe for them Tiny Home. Those who originally starting following our progress to build Kolea Nani (VardoForTwo) might want to give Daisy and KC (her kane) some support and attention as they create their dream. Tiny, moveable or mobile MCS homes is a relatively new subset of the Tiny Home revolution pioneered by people like Jay Shafer of Tumbleweed. Like anything revolutionary, the seeds of change will grow in people/energy fields ripe for creatively and persistently making changes ... not necessarily adapting, surely adjusting though the qualities that translate. Daisy and her husband are one of those new pioneers. Watch them grow.
  
• Another young woman "AMESTRESS" (real name or not) has been blogging since February of 09 ... this just in ... permission to use this description from Amestress's profile: "I am not how I appear. But then again, how would I know? One thing I know is I am very focused on recovering from MCS."

This is a person with the spirit of a dancer, and she dances a lot on her blog. Movement is vital, move it or lose it comes to mind. I've just begun to read her blog and there is plenty to read with more than 800 posts on Life the Final Attempt (not really!) and she has a wit, spunk and style about her that is well ... pure youth. She reminds me of the energy vibe I get when I visit my friend Leslie who blogs on the Oko Box. I can say that with wistful Aunty love from this side of the mountain with more than sixty solar returns on my Brownie Badge. These women give me hope for a sustaining future. Amestress is dealing with the reality of this illness in a way that seems to fit her. MCS is a serious illness that easily flattens the heartiest among us. Discovering those who are living with the seriousness while maintaining their personality(their Sun sign shining through) ... I would guess Amestress is maybe an Aries, Leo or Libra. If I'm lucky she'll tell me and that would be fun. One thing that I'm learning from my jumble of juggling this life is to find wisdom in lots of places: the internet, the common squirrel outside, my kitty Jotz (pure LEO) and for sure, I navigate by the Sky and the wisdom of astrology.

NAVIGATING by the Sky

Saturn(control) SQUARES Uranus(sudden change) and lots of Neptune in my whirl

I am a Hawaiian, and Pete is a Mid-western born Hawaiian in the heart. Someday we will be back on the AINA (on the islands of my birth). One thing is for sure, my culture travels with me and it spills into our Vardo like coconut butter (yummmmm). I am a Hawaiian activist, a believer in the Nation of Hawaii and the rights of Kanaka Maoli (the first people of the islands) as a sovereign and self-governing nation. Our life as wanderers with multiple chemical sensitivites challenges me to maintain my roots. Distance counts for a woman who needs to 'see her people' and MCS creates such a barrier since I can't be near most of my family because they STINK (Seriously Think I'm Not Kidding ... but still aren't fragrance and chemical free). Anyway, I ramble as I juggle. However, I recognize more clearly today the inseparable connection between my life as a woman with MCS and my kuleana (responsiblity) as a Hawaiian sovereignty activist. Both roles are consistent: they seek to be recognized and respected against all odds. There's a lot to be done to have MCS recognized and the solutions in place of the problems; and the Rights of the Kanaka Maoli have been ignored for more than 100 years. What I see in the sky with Saturn and Uranus squaring off during the coming months is an unavoidable shift in the status quo. Things are going to rock! What roots will fly, what flies will root. (watch for this chant in my up-coming fairy tale Tree Skins.)

HOLLOGRAMS: Truth or Untruth

I have been a rabid learner and fan of astrology even though for decades I really hadn't a real clue of what I was looking at when I read my astrology chart. In the early years, I counted on an astrologer to tell me what was on those charts and I tried to understand things, get a feel for the planets, signs. I read "Your Daily Horoscope" bits from the newspaper and then on-line. See, I've always sought answers from the ethers/others and weighed them against my practical (Capricorn) nature. More recently and particularly since we began building our vardo, Elsa P. from ElsaElsa.com has become a first rate astrology teacher. I'm not putting the gal on a pedestal and she would be the first to say DON'T DO IT. Or, if you do it, it's guaranteed you'll be shooting me down when your projection/veil drops. I'm blattering on about who I am, and how I navigate because it's important to me that those who come here know who I really am. I'm an activist. I'm a Hawaiian. Hawaiians are more than an illusion. We are real people who battle to be recognized. Ah, that sound familiar ... We are people with MCS and we battle to be recognized.

Here's where the astrology of things helps me out. I have Neptune (planet of illusion and magic) in my mid-heaven. It's how people see me. That shifts and changes, people see what they want to see and if I'm not sure ... I might let them see what they want even if that's not really me. Confused? Try living inside this gal for 60+ years. (Just kidding, that is not an invitation!) Here's something Elsa wrote several years ago (click there to read the whole article). It illustrates two things: why I like the way she sees astrology in real life, and what it's like to be living with an illusive illness.


...Real unreality is everywhere you turn. You think something is real (Saturn) but hey! Maybe not!

And personally, I am in element. All the sudden I am making sense to people! Intuition (Neptune) is real (Saturn). Magic (Neptune) is real (Saturn) The ethereal is now real and the real is ethereal and it just keeps going back and forth like that.

I began writing fairy tales once I parked myself on the Ledge in the Woods. In my real adult life decades ago I was paid to write corporate training manuals. One old-time friend commented on my blog, "This is the writing that was waiting to be written." Real or unreality?

Ke Ala O Ka Mahina(the Hawaiian moon calendar)

The 'ole days of the moon just past were powerful. Our choice to become more conscious of Mahina's energy (Lunar energy) in our lives, has established a routine of attending to the how and what we have done in small chunks of time. The 'ole days are review times, not more do times.

From the website the HAWAIIAN MOON CALENDAR:

'Ole Ku Kahi, 'Ole Ku Lua 'Ole Ku Kolu, 'Ole Pau (Seventh to tenth nights)

This is an unproductive time, for `ole means 'nothing', 'without', 'unproductive'. The tides are dangerous and high. The sea is rough and fishing is poor. Some recommend that planting be minimal until `ole pau which ends this unproductive period.

In addition to the 'ole days, I considered the retrograde of Mercury (click on that link for some insight) during these 'ole days and weighed the many contacts and communications we've been having or searching out during the last months and especially, the last three weeks.

We have posted ads, responded to emails and gone back and forth with communications since July with people who might have a place for us to hook-up our vardo and create community with us. The process is hard work, a full-time job and the pay ... is invisible, internal. Like blogging where the blogger can never know who will come to visit/comment/be affected most of our contacts with people are 'stranger meeting stranger.' I know, the internet is all about this sort of relationship, all the more Neptune to spread the mischief of pretense. What is valuable for this post is our intent to be honest, respectful and real in all our communication. Smoke and mirrors abound, and if we pretend to be something we aren't, well we're at major risk. Here's a snip from the latest email and reply between a kind woman who was considering sharing her home with us after reading a flier we left on a bulletin board.

I said,

"Thank you very much for these communications. Our life is one of very clear boundaries, without them we are at risk. We have decided based on our communication back and forth, to pursue other options. Good luck with your search for congenial and trustworthy folk to share your space. I'm happy to learn you are making conscious scent/chemical free choices (she has consciously decided not to use pesticides on her land/home), and wish your daughter safe and gentle times. We are very good people, and you sound like one fine person and a very responsive/loving mom. (Her daughter is fragrance and chemical sensitive). MCS folks are not always as fortunate to have understand and responsive family."

She said in reply,

I have appreciated our communication, and wish you best of luck in your search for the right spot for you both. I have been a bit inspired by the room you built, and am interested in many aspects of healthy, sustainable living/dwelling. It feels like we are so off on the wrong foot in much of our culture, and our immune systems are less able to handle the onslaught. Wishing you fine people good health and happiness.

Mercury continues to be retrograde until the 29th (tomorrow) and there are options for winter space pending ... the options are in our IN BOX, and we're waiting while doing what can be done. This post is something I can do to make my intentions and my identity as honest and real as I can. It will be important as the next chapter of our unfolding lives offers up a blank slate. It is very possible this blog will change significantly when we leave the Ledge. Perhaps with that in my intuitive mind, I wrote Part 2 of the fairy tale WOOD CRAFTING so I'd remember what it was really like to live with fairies, the nature of trees and the possibilities of magic.

From the floor in VardoForTwo on the Ledge in the Woods,
Mokihana


Photo Credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/Egypt.jpg

DONKEY DREAM

... dreaming of JuJuBean her donkey
(copied by permission from Leslie Richard)

Blogs are an amazing form of connecting. With a gazillion doors to open from our trusty old (2000 Sony) laptop we Vardo people have jumped into the ether-sphere to find all forms of opinion, news that never makes the News, information about product, on-line shopping and then all the personal journaling of bloggers, and bloggers who live with chronic illness like MCS. My oh my. What a world. It's safe to say bloggers have lassoed me from the brink, made me laugh, made me think. Without meeting face to face, bloggers have become a virtual social circle ... a substitute for what used to be my social whirl.

Last week I stopped to visit one of these bloggers, Leslie over at the Oko Box Blog. I first bumped into Leslie on The Canary Report, very early in my blog experience. I found Susie Collins' and the community of canaries with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities at a time when I really needed to know others were living with the morphing forms of this condition. Right away she intriqued me with her quirky and sweet sassy comments and then I followed her over to the Oko Box Blog. Leslie Richard is one funny, wonderful sistah. Her perspectives are elf-like, her creative spirit adventurous and her solutions for "upcycling" (her word for recycling) a pair of jeans or a wooden chopping block using real sand and a flat stone ... well, if you haven't met her yet go HERE. This is woman who has tickled me when I didn't think I had a snip of tickle left to my name.

On to the reason for the title of this post : DONKEY DREAM. Leslie is asking for donations to make a dream of riding a donkey come true. Now, if you've been a VARDOFORTWO reader you know we are dreamers and wish makers and we cotton-to ... we love...we support the wishers of gentle folk with Earth and the cosmos in their heart. This DONKEY DREAM is just the sort of dream this old dear loves to know about. It doesn't take a lot to support a dream, sometimes one something or someone at the right time and place will warm a litle Match Girl in her time of greatest need. A few or a lot of people donating a little bit will make this dream come true.

With permission from Leslie I've snipped a bit of her original post about this dream, and copied that cute donkey's picture. I like this sort of direct connection ... made across the ethers...make me feel less alone, and that is a nice warming feeling. Oh, here's a little bit of what she said in her email when I wrote asking for permission:

Hey!

That would be awesome, of course I'de love it if you posted about my donkey dream, i want people to know how awesome donkeys are & also not to give up when you are sick!

Leslie lives in the Smokey Mountains, in North Carolina on country land where she can be the best living on the Earth, in the woods sort of gal she truly is. This is her opening paragraph about dreaming of a donkey.

I am now accepting donations to help me buy a donkey! It all started a few years ago when I began having seizures and could no longer drive a car, or even ride as a passenger without causing serious medical discomfort. Soon after realizing my new isolating plight I met an old man on Reems Creek Rd in Weaverville NC who was raising midget ponies, he loved his midget ponies so much he teared up talking about them & he said they were his only joy... after hearing him talk a flash of brilliance popped into my travel weary mind that I needed something to ride on that was just my size! Over the years I kept my wish alive, letting it evolve with my changing life- but as my situation became more 'small pony' friendly the economy became a monster. A monster that gobbled up all my money and left me rather poor.

It's a delight to share the page with a being who has filled me with hope across the blue screen of an old Sony laptop. Wonders of wonders. Twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are. Up above the world so high Like a Diamond in the Sky ... Leslie, this wish is for you and JuJuBean ~

xxooMokihana

I've been out surfing and, learned something today

We were in the cruise-out-from-the-day zone last night when my son called. He made it back to the Island after the four-day Thanksgiving visit, and had just gotten out of the water...warm, Pacific Ocean water...stand-up surf boarding off of Kaimana Beach. In an instant I went from watching old Hercule Peirot mysteries to being in the warm salty water of the Pacific. This morning I've been surfing visiting sites and blogs and found a story and link from Miss Molly who blogs over at I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.


Today is Tuesday, and on many Tuesdays (including this one) since we have lived in Washington I have an appointment with Chulan Chiong my NAET practitioner. The one hour treatment I have with Chulan is one of the things that makes the experiences/physical symptoms and discomfort of living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities less debilitating. I find the treatments reassuring, giving me a regular and non-invasive comfort. I don't go to Chulan to be "fixed" because I'm not broken. On some days I think "it's gone" ... I've been feeling so good for weeks at a time. On other days I can't remember when or why I've lost my old self/old life/used-to-be-able-to... Living with Multiple Chemical Sensitivites can really piss-me-off. My Tuesday appointments release some of the pressure. Along with my calls to supportive and 'I get it' friends who also just let me be down low if that's where I need to go, I get out of the depths and learn something.


So...to the point where I was out surfing and found Miss Molly's post. It was the perfect find. See what you think. Her post linked to this:

Gary McClain, president of JustGotDiagnosed.com, said that chronic illness
can leave patients feeling that their life is spinning out of their control ...
"When we feel out of control, anger is a natural response," McClain
said in a statement.
"People with serious health conditions often feel that they shouldn't show their anger, but instead try to just accept their lot and have a positive attitude, so this strong emotion is often kept inside and pushed to the background."

The Web site JustGotDiagnosed.com has posted anger-management guidelines to help people deal with the anger that often springs from living with serious or chronic illnesses. The Anger Management Checklist suggests:
-- Find a safe person to release the feelings of anger, someone with an open mind, without judgment and without the need to "fix" you. Once released, anger loses its power.
-- Avoid the positive-thinking police. Don't let anyone, badger you into suppressing your anger and putting on a happy face.
-- Take time to grieve what you have lost.
-- Let go of the need to be in control. Humans often cling to the belief that they are always in charge of their own destinies, and when they find out they aren't they get angry.