Ho'oponopono and the Kane Moon

Ho'oponopono is the ancient Hawaiian practice of setting things right.  Literally the word could be looked at as "ho'o" to make or the act of "ponopono" setting right or regaining harmony (pono).  The link included in this paragraph will take the reader to one kumu (teacher) of Hawiian healing practices, Maka'ala Yates.

"Making shift"

"Let us make shift together, until your fortunes turn."

-a line from the character Matty, from the BBC production Cranford

The Solstice is here.  Pete and I hoped to see the Lunar Eclipse late last night just as Winter Solstice 2010 marked the longest night.  The clouds were busy though, so when the alarm clattered on my cellphone at 11:45 Hina was a muted globe of light and no eclipse could be seen.  The dark sky in the forest lights up with any moonlight though, and my sleep was less than deep as I felt the energy of the eclipse inspite of the cloudy sky. 

This morning, the clouds have pulled away in big patches.  As promised there is blue sky.  JOTS is perched on my right elbow as I write, she's been busy on a Solstice morning doing what a huntress does when she is not warming herself under the heat lamp inside.  Pete has taken Scout our Subaru, mini safe haven on wheels, to the repair shop.  When winter came early in November, we were out in Scout ... and it was icey.  I, a Hawaiian, was at the wheel and skidded on a patch of ice.  A big truck parked at a traffic light slowed the skid, and Scout is in need of repair.  It's been a month since the accident and we have found ways to keep Scout on the road.  I have recovered from the trauma of the skid, and made my way behind the wheel after a couple weeks of recouperation.  Car insurance is the one form of insurance we have continued to pay.  When our financial reality led to our decision to stop paying $600 a month for medical insurance for two (we don't have it to pay and what we get from the premium falls short of what we get in return) what money we had went to maintaining our ability to remain mobile.  Repairs to Scout and the big truck I hit will be covered by our insurance after we pay the $500 deductible.  We will come up with the $500, and give thanks to a generous friend who sent an unsolicited gift to help get Scout back into shape.

We, like many thousands of Americans who live in the shadows of society make shift with the changing fortunes of life with chronic illness and living reassembled lives.  After I kissed Pete good-bye, bidding a sweet A hui hou I sat on the slantboard couch in the Quonset and spent time browing the internet.  With an open-mind to what I could post I found a series of posts at MCS Safe Housing written by Lisa Pausman.  Lisa blogs at Sundogtales.  Reading Lisa's chronicle of life in a tent gave me unexpected hope and a reunion with folks I had forgotten about.  "Making shift" is an expression of what folk have done time and time again to get through travail and changes of fortune.  Lisa and her partner Jeremy put expanded meaning to that expression for living in a tent in the Pacific Northwest in winter is a challenge few do, and yet scores of us with MCS will find themselves with no safe home this winter.  Lisa Pausman begins her three part article MCS Survivalist this way:

"Death or injury is a real threat when someone with little outdoor experience becomes homeless in the dead of winter. Hundreds of people with multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) will be homeless this year and many turn to camping for shelter. This guide is for those with moderate to severe MCS and little outdoor experience. It focuses on teaching the skills needed to survive safely until either housing improves or the weather warms in spring. "

Another reality Lisa describes on her blog SunDogTales, is the issue of healing those pearly white within our mouths:  teeth.  Life with MCS comes with all the history before the illness, and with the daily challenges of survival maintaining dental health and attending to the ravages of tooth decay and loss without dental insurance the burdens get heavy.  Lisa has a post about reversing tooth decay, with a link to WholeHealthSource, a blog with very informative and empowering practices that give hope to those who are can not or choose not to be dependent upon contemporary dental practices for their well-being.  The links to WholeHealthSource and Lisa's blog are here: 
http://wholehealthsource.blogspot.com/2009/03/reversing-tooth-decay.html
http://sundogtales.wordpress.com/

I have been at this computer in the quonset so long, the foam slantboard has formed a dent from my bottom, my feet are chilled to discomfort and JOTS has taken to circling along side of me wearied from my long stint at the keys. 

Happy Solstice dear ones.  In the practice of becoming more and more human and innocent in the making I see the line from the character dear Miss. Matty of Cranford as a good thing.  Making shift together is a good thing.  Thank you Lisa.

Aloha,
Mokihana

Acceptance

More than enough real life is happening here in the forrest.  My need to get to the blog to describe it is ebbing.  Summer seems to be filling me with acceptance for the life that is mine.  The clotheslines are filled with routine washings, a tub full of pillow cases and night clothes is soaking in fresh water as I plunk away at the keys here.  We have a kitchen table inside our outdoor kitchen ... the first table we've had in years.  It's a treasure we've not had place to put.  How fine an experience it is to sit at it with tea and tablet.

Our routines are hard work, or time-consuming.  When I am able to keep it simple and let what I am doing be good enough, the work is exactly right.  The awarenesses are many, and calming the urge to fix the discomfort of some of those awarenesses just make the work difficult, and conflicted.  Without blogging as often, I live the awareness and am faced with choice:  fix it too soon and I have to sit with the premature mend and start again.  It's a journey, a process.  I meet my impatience and my irritation and finally wear out my control-button to the point of acceptance. 

My ankle break is wrapped in an ACE bandage that has been soaking to de-stink it from microbial doo-daa junk for weeks.  I can use it now with some precaution.  I wrap and ice the ankle to keep the injury calmed, keep it as stable as I can and then accept ... it's as good as I can do for now. 

The VardoForTwo is a gem.  We live from it and it continues to teach me lessons small and grand.  Change takes time, it is hard work and today I accept that.

Malama Aina ... the living practice of Caring

I was out for a lovely walk through the forrest using the driveway and lane that are the main courseways from VardoForTwo.  JOTS was not to be found, so my walk was a solitary one.  The day was warmer than usual so wearing the linen shift instead of long pants and long sleeves was a different sort of ocassion.  The gravel drive way winds rather than traverse in a straight line and on foot each step from the cleared place where cars park takes a walker into the depths of forrest within minutes.  The clearing of trees on my left contrasts to the heavy woods on the right.  In the winter, the low sun will be mostly hidden on the right of the driving way as the tree tops are very high.  We have considered the possibility of moving our living pod of a vardo to the clearing, yet the needs we have (to be within electrical connection) make that move a multiple step process that we cannot afford now.  For the while, the place where we have positioned our vardo life gives us a degreee of access and comfort that we count as blessings and necessity ... so we nest where we are.

The walk was pleasant, and with the brace around my ankle, the exercise did body and soul a good measure of good.  I discovered neighbors who live tucked down the lane, and a development of homes is really not far from our covey of woods.  The development is far enough away to give us the protection from household laundry products and wood smoke though and that is another for the blessings count.  On my way back I hauled the empty garbage can with my left hand and felt good being able to do the simple task that benefits the four of us who live regularly here in the wooden human habitats.  Eileen was working in her gardens when I came home, and called to me.  I joined her at the pond-side and we sat and chatted about the this and thats of our real lives, and shared the dreams and visions of women who have been on the Earth for a while.  The subject of Care woven throughout our chat.  The subject coming to the pond-side from all sorts of angles, and as happens when partnerships are created when space for the Divine is welcomed, there was such shares of disclosure and trust.  I am often surprised upon reflection at the depth and breath of these kinds of sharing ... like the writing I do, sometimes, I don't know where the thoughts come from. 

I offered Eileen the Hawaiian concept, a definition plus, of "Malama" to describe Caring.  Sometimes English is too straight a language for one whose predisposition is to wander to a solution.  Like the gently, yet definitely winding driving and walking path, language such as Hawaiian (lyrical rather than literal) describe with broad views.  "Malama" is the Hawaiian word for Caring, and it begins with recognizing that "I" must start with has always been before I add what I might want/need to bring.  Years ago, when I living and working on the island of Maui, I listened to an elder describing how "Malama Aina" (caring for that which feeds you) applies to contemporary human.  In essence he said, "Live only on the white part of the postage stamp.  Care for the center/do not disturb it for that center will feed you into the future."  I have never forgotten what Sam said, and with each ocassion I have to practice that in my real life, I try to stay on the white part of the stamp.  A light foot-print might describe that same practice.  Malama is more than thinking or philosophizing about right-action.  Malama is acting, adjusting, attending and making course-correction regularly and over the long-term. 

Pete and I have begun the process of stepping through the idea that we need a shelter and warm place in addition to the gem of a haven-home VardoForTwo.  Winter will come and that is a given.  Our experience with winter without a shelter and warm place for the other needs of a semi-nomadic couple like us teaches us to prepare to be 'in the flow.'  I end this session at Computer Station #9 with the challenge we have to create that shelter and warm place without affecting the life of a seedling Madrona that lives where that place could be built.  The link that follows discusses the risks to moving the Madrona ... the beautiful Arbutus the shiny who we love and respect for their service to Earth.  What will be do?  More will be revealed as we attempt to maintain our commitment to live only on the white space of that postage stamp.
http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/nwest/msg101445561417.html

A wee deck, local buzz and the gift of oracle

Sometime in the near while, we may be able to share pictures of life in the forrest.  Bye and bye.  Our tiny moveable home has had steps of varying width and climbs since VardoForTwo became home.  While on the Ledge the steps were as broad as the vardo is wide, and a sturdy hand-rail added to the stability of our wee home.  Regardless of the size of it a stoop has always been one of my most favorite places to be.  I am comforted by the feel of steps and like the view of living that passes me or comes to join me.  Here in the forrest, the steps are narrower than those on the Ledge, yet still the life that passes or joins me here is precious stuff.  Just this past week new friends have come to visit ... lingering with me while still in my flannel robe, chatting about this and that or simply coming to see the variation of 'home' we concoct.

This weekend Pete and I dared to expand that variation, and between my imaginings and Pete's artistry with weathered wood and a screw gun, we have a wonderful new deck on the back of VardoForTwo.  Company for the tall full wall where laua'e (sweet Hawaiian ferns) are milk-painted, softed grayed boards and a picket of up-rights create a portable (if necessary) deck where we can set to watch the sunset, enjoy the warming sunshine in the later day, and JOTS is especially enjoying the added height to peruse the forrest happenings.
Pohaku li'ili'i (small stones) gathered from the dirt surrounding us now scatter at the foot of those deck up-rights.  A few collected pohaku from walks elsewhere ground the wee decking at both sides of the wide-V shape.  One of the pohaku is my Sature-stone ... ringed and smooth it is my reminder to keep on friendly terms with the keeper of time, the governor of gravity.  I am grateful to have the reminder.

Not far from us and just up the road is Mukilteo Coffee ... a local roastery and cafe and favorite gathering place for islanders and visitors.  In a life previous, we lived in Mukilteo just across the watery Sound and knew the owners of this roastery during the earliest times of their enterprise.  This morning I smelled the beans toasting ... slow-roasting from the metal roastery through the woods.  Eileen arrived just after Pete and I began our morning prattle with a fresh cup of coffee ... I guessed it might be the local buzz.  Along with coffee, a small bunch of freshly pulled garlic were our morning gifts.  Pete has been working his transition man magic with our friends and neighbors, tending the ducks and chickens, mending gate latches for smooth exiting and entrancing.  It is his kuleana, and he does it as a calling he heed long ago. Another of the recent gifts blessed upon us is a package of Rune cards and The Book of Runes written by Ralph Blum.  We took a drive to Freeland and ventured into a gathering where Ralph Blum was giving a talk about Runes.  Many years ago while I worked for a large corporation in Seattle, I met one of my dearest teachers, Betty.  I came to her to learn hula, and did that to a degree.  But, it was her introduction to the other teachings ... Numerology and the Runes that have laid a foundation of depth and insight at a time when life meant commuting to work and working for the man.  Thirty years later in a woods just across the water from the home where I was mother and wife and career woman, I would be gifted with time with the man who wrote The Book of Runes. 

This morning just before Eileen came with caffeine and garlic, Pete and I pulled a Rune card a piece.  #25 THE UNKNOWN was my rune.  #7CONSTRAINTS pulled upside-down or reserve was Pete's rune.  The Runes are a personal compass reading that gives you guidance on issues with unfretted influence and a large view of environmental influence.  A wee deck, local coffee and the gift of oracles with a bunch of garlic, that is a bouquet of daily grace.  Thank you.

Measure of success

Capricorn was raising on the horizon when a wee girl, not quite ready for the journey was called to begin life here on Earth.  "Pre-mature" by modern science terms the girl was pulled from the dark inkly womb only to learn over time, that all human babies are 'pre' mature and that all of us need months if not years of further nurturing to be as ready as the tiny deer who suckle with weak yet ready stick-like legs.  I was born when the zodiac would call my Sun position, "Scorpio" and my Moon Capricorn so with the Ascendent sign also Capricorn the journey would be purpose-filled, the track lined with hurdles of all sorts and the lessons of persisting emphasized in the arena of shared resources, re-births, deaths and inheritance/legacy.  In the brief view, this is the legacy I live with.  Re-births come often if one looks at the challenges from the point of view that life comes from the dark and contractions prepare for the forward motion and contraction can be painful. 

In many ways our Wee Life living in and from the VardoForTwo has been a series of contractions-- slow down and becoming more and more conscious of the visceral, remembering what labor is without sedation.  A few days ago I had one of those precious conversations with my son.  I told him giving birth to him was the hardest work I have ever done and the most satisfying work I've ever done.  He will be 38 at his next birthday, and at the time we talked telling him that seemed divine direction.  Pete and I are living close to Nature again, and divinity has a more direct line to us here in the forrest.  I have offered our gifts of presence to the fairies (chocolate covered raisins) and they have taken all five treats just as the Solstice welcomed more light! 

It matters that each success be recognized and as life continues to change for us the successes and failures mute. What does the farmer with the magic flute say after he has played music for his hens hoping to coax them into more eggs, yet finds no more eggs than usual?  "Ah, yes.  It was a grand day for making music!"
Yesterday we had many successes. 

Pete finished building the salvage yard sink, and last night we had running water to wash with.

Visitors have begun to show up on our stoop and in our kitchen.  Our neighbors and friends who rent space to us have begun to invite others to visit, and visit with us themselves.  They are fragrance-free and appreciate the life we live from the vardo.  Those two things make visitors the welcome presents we have prayed for.

A potluck gathering happened yesterday as well.  New to us folk brought drink and food to the patio-deck just across the duck yard, and we sat to eat, share stories and listen to other stories.  I learned that animals other than cats and dogs are very much part of the lives of the folk on Whidbey.  "There's always something dying ..."  Now hear out of context perhaps that snip of conversation would seem odd.  It wasn't though and was instead just part of what happens in the woods where predator and prey includes everyone.  Pete helped put a door on the cobbled house for the ducks that are our neighbors.  Two of the ducks have been snatched late at night by a creature a bit further up the food chain.  It pleases both Pete and our land-ladies to see how handy a screw gun and saw can be to make country life easier for the folk.

Folk with Capricorn rising know that life is learned through repeating a lesson over and over again.  Instead of all else, the school of life requires accepting the assignment hurdles and all.  Our successes make life a bit easier, like putting a door on the chicken and duck houses .or building a sink at standing up level with water that runs through a tap.  How many days have I misjudged as failure when in fact, it was probably a grand day for making music.

Making friends with Saturn

The sun is out ... the long months of Junuary ... a length sort of soggy season seems to be changing, at least by degrees.  Seated this morning at Computer Station #9 I am with Ka La ... the sun.  The Solstice came yesterday and with it Pete and I took ourselves on a roadtrip with Saturn.  Old Father Time-Keeper, Saturn has been teaching me many, many lessons of self-evolution the kind of lessons that must be learned in this lifetime.  There was work being done with a pressure washer, the wet forrest had dampened us so nearly spontaneous were our thoughts of taking a small road trip north to scan the recycling and reuse centers on the island.  There is an active spirit of solution-based community economy in the Whidbey Island whirl.  The small towns and expansive rural nature of this very large island seems to be tapping our own nature.  With the 'Ole Cycle lending us energy to review and focus on 'plantings' with sound seeds, we headed for Coopeville to explore what my father and I would have called the "Junk Yards." 

Our dream of building a Half-way House of a space for a warm and dry kitchen-privy-shower and storage place will take lots of creative enterprise.  Like many of our ventures, we try to focus on what we know is need rather than what we want.  This theme is surely an example of making friends with Saturn who is there to teach me groundedness.  Still the adventure North was both a break from the bone-wearing and with the 'Ole Cycle reminding us that it was a venture of exploring we made a brief stop for cookie restoration (oatmeal-raisin for me and a coconut-cranberry-lemon for Pete) and became searching for basic needs.

What do we need first?

A sink

The outdoor kitchen we use has improved by degrees, and though we work out of the direct line of rain, it is down on the ground dishwashing and bathing we do.  The dream of moving slowly yet with wisdom includes knowing a sink would raise the bar on our wee life.  Our search was successful and unexpected.  We found a very fairly priced double stainless steel sink further north, in Mt. Vernon.  Miraculously there was room in our Subaru to haul it back to the forrest. 

Pete has plans for putting the sink into a wooden table he constructs with bits and pieces of material to create a cleanable and tolerable surface.  The sink will fit under the arched tarp kitchen as a next step to making the in-between stages of our Half-way House construction more comfortable.

Viewing what others do

We have a size and shape in mind as we envision and toy with the design of the Half-way House.  Saturn maintains his watch on the work we do and from the limitations that are my accepted reality I know there are materials and resources that shape our search.  As we drove through towns we have known, we looked anew at the creativity with materials we could use:  metal siding.  One very beautiful example of a cobbled domicile made most of metal siding in very fun shapes is inspiring us.

Even when I experience the bone-wearing times, the esteem I have for myself grows when I let those very worn human moments be ... just for what they are.  Human moments.  We are at least half-way to something different.  Saturn has the plan for me, and with aging I learn to accept the many, many, many steps involved.

Grateful I am to have a sunny day to enjoy today.  Be well where you are.

Aloha,
Mokihana

Half-way Houses

We are still here ... less frequently stringing stories together, we are none the less here in the town of Langley on Whidbey Island.  Bone-weary for the past several days, the tiny comfort of the vardo with its warm space, dry against the soggy wet have been a refuge.  Twenty steps from the wheelie home porch, the outdoor composting toilet is a luxury many would wonder about ... until of course, you have been without such a facility and sought that service in a public space.  Pete has raised the sides of the outdoor kitchen so we are now a family with cathedral ceilings made from aluminum framing and old plastic tarps.  A toteable carbon filtration system filters the hard water that we use from a hose that traverses the duck yard to our camp spot.  An ingenious ridging has food grade plastic tubing available for washing our clothes, dishes and hands.

I know this life we live seems nighmarish to some who come to read about it.  Among the challenges that have been our reality we have moved seven times in two years and financially, a social security check is the one regular form of incoming resource we have.  Yet, with the parcel of minutes left to craft a short post, there is room for patient and hopeful dreams even now.  Pencilled onto composition pads are the dreams of a half-way house, a stabilizing version of our cathedral ceiling kitchen and privy.  We are parked and renting the vardo space from two kind-hearted women who we did not know three weeks ago.  With each experience with them, we are encouraged to believe we can dream of a home that is our half-way house:  shelter that is as safe as we know how to build and maintain it living with people who are willing to learn what it takes to create life upon a foundation of chem-free and fragrance-free as possible.  Details are future issues, dreams come from a recipe of acceptance and illusion (the scent of something yet to be).

When we prepare for sleep at night we tell each other stories of things we have done, things we have loved doing, places and people who have filled our lives with joy.  It softens our drift into the world of dreamtime, and gets us at least half-way to the place of Grace where all possibility is fueled with surrender, first.

Mokihana

Busy with the search

Just a quick note to all ...

Pete, JOTS and Mokihana are in search mode ... meeting interesting people, finding places that don't yet suit us or make us sick.  We have this current hook-up until Thursday morning next week.  So our energies are focused on 'next best home.' 

Aloha,
Mokihana and Pete

MCS and the search for safe Community

In honor of MCS Awareness Month, we are posting this co-written article in order to share more deeply regarding one of the most significant reasons that we undertook our current journey around the country. Because we both live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS), finding a safe place to call home is paramount to us, and those who have MCS understand what it's like to live like a "canary in the coal mine" in a world saturated with substances that undermine our health and impair our ability to function effectively...



We offer this article as a missive of support and hope to other canaries, as well as a plea to those without MCS---especially intentional communities---to more deeply understand our plight....

Hitting the proverbial road in a 29-foot mobile home, we began to scour the country for an intentional community or eco-village that offered an opportunity for healthy living. Traversing the East Coast, Deep South, Gulf Coast and Southwestern United States, we visited over two-dozen intentional communities in more than twenty states over the course of seven months.


Many of these communities profess to live close to the earth by using sustainable building and permaculture techniques, renewable energy sources, organic gardening, and other well-meaning practices. In our naivete, we did indeed assume that “sustainable living” would include the use of earth-friendly and non-toxic products, but we’ve sadly found that many such communities simply reach for the cheapest common denominator, with Tide, Bounce, Palmolive, Cascade and other products being the easy mainstream fix.

Our disappointment and disillusionment were great when many visits to such communities revealed that people were often unwilling to “walk the talk” when it came to using safe and healthy products. As to the issue of being fragrance-free and MCS-friendly, most communities appeared oblivious at best, much to our dismay.

---Mary Rives and Keith Carlson


Mary Rives and Keith Carlson are Travellers.  Pete and I became aware of this couple months ago, when VardoForTwo was nearly finished as a safe haven home on wheels.  As Pete and I search and live from our wee wheelie home, Mary and Keith also took to the road in search of safe community doing their reassembled life from a twenty nine foot mobile home.  While the three day Canary Caravan Carnival is history now, this article which can be read by linking here or above, is an important picture of the search for safe housing and community we environmentally injured experience.
http://digitaldoorway.blogspot.com/2010/05/mcs-and-search-for-safe-cmmunity.html

Mahalo to Mary and Keith for this real-life review of the Intentional Communities' measure of commitment to living 'safe enough for canaries.'  Read the entire article for the ICs that are living with practices that might work for some of the chemically injured folk who search for haven on a toxic planet.

MAKING AN MCS DOCUMENTARY ... A Canary's Angle on the issue from Kimberly Shaw

Notes from Mokihana
Several months ago, maybe a year ago, I received an email from Kimberly Shaw saying she had gotten my name from Susie Collins from The Canary Report.  Kimberly was in the early stages of assembling a dream to create a video documentary about MCS, an illness she lives with as well.  She was writing to ask if I'd be interested in being interviewed.  I remember asking her to read our blogs to get an idea of what our story (ies) are, and then we'd chat, again.

Kimberly Shaw has moved forward with that dream of filming a documentary, and has read our blogs.  This 'adventurous canary' has travelled and met many who live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and is coming to visit Pete and JOTS and me this coming Tuesday for lunch and a bit of chatting.  She has given me permission to republish the following article as an ANGLE on MCS, originally appearing on The Canary Report.

Kimberly Shaw maintains a contributing blog on The Canary Report and also has her own blog Adventurous Canary.  Mahalo Kimberly for this insight into your transofrmative art.


MAKING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT MCS IS DIFFICULT, INSPIRING
By Kimberly Shaw
At a recent film festival someone asked me,”What it is like to make a documentary about MCS while having MCS?” At the time I just expressed it was DIFFICULT! Making a film is a challenge to begin with then add into that the need for a fragrance-free chemical-free film crew, travel (and the stresses involved with traveling with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity!), equipment that will not bother people with sensitivities, concern about protecting and keeping safe the people we are interviewing and then planning how to keep myself safe. It is difficult!

Later, I thought more about the question. Yes, it is difficult, but worthwhile endeavors tend to be challenging. I started this filmmaking journey out of passion: a passion to have people educated and informed about MCS, a passion to have people with MCS heard, and a passion to have the change begin with us. I thought, “I may not be able to do much for those with MCS, but I can do this!”

As it turns out, though, making a documentary about MCS has been one of the greatest learning and growing experiences of my life. I used to think I knew a lot about MCS, but every time I interview someone with MCS, I learn something new. Sometimes the information coming at me is overwhelming. I wish I could do a ten-part series rather than try to convey what needs to be conveyed in one documentary.

With each person with MCS I meet, I am reminded about what is important: clean air, pure water, natural organic food, a safe place to live, community and love. The MCS community is amazing! If you are having a tough day you can always find a MCS friend on Facebook or The Canary Report. We are no longer alone and isolated! We may struggle to have a safe place to live, but we always have a home online with others who understand.

In the process of making the film, I have discovered that people without MCS are interested in learning about MCS. Most people can relate in some small way. They might have a relative or someone they work with who gets headaches from perfume or they know of someone who cannot be around new carpet. They are curious! They are ready to be educated!

Making a documentary about MCS is very inspiring. The people I have met with MCS are strong, talented, amazing people. Everyday is a battle and they are winning (well, most of the time, we all have our bad days!). It reminds me of how far I have come in my journey and that there is always hope. I used to hardly be able to leave the house and now I am traveling and making a documentary!

Next time someone asks me about making a film on MCS while having MCS, I think I will smile and say, “It has been one of the greatest blessings of my life!” However, if they ask me what it is like to attend a film festival with MCS, I will reply, “Difficult!”

Update on the documentary:

We are hoping to finish all the interviews by the end of this summer and have editing done by late October. If you live in any of the following places, have MCS and are willing to be interviewed, please contact me: New Mexico, Colorado, Florida, Texas, Seattle, Washington state, Arizona, Maui (or nearby island), California (especially southern CA) or Alaska.

TRUST IN ANGELS ... a NOTE FOR SUNDAY'S CANARY CARNIVAL

iT's been years since I've been at a carnival ... I believe it was Waimanalo on the windward coast of Oahu when last I enjoyed the thrill of a ride on the ferris wheel.  Seated with my dear Pete, we rode the ferris wheel and saw the tops of the iron woods and the inimitable turquoise of ke kai (the ocean) that is Waimanalo.  A ferris wheel is the most risky ride I take at carnivals, enjoying the slow pace of the merry-go-round my usual choice.

MCS would create new limits and structure to my adventure at a carnival; and yet here at the Langley Library I have ventured into public space to set up the Tent for The Canary Caravan Carnival.  It's a miracle I'm able to do this, I can tell you.  This library has been a god-send ... with low exposure I work the computer and don my mask to get through the scents.

A SPECIAL THANK-YOU GOES to Liberty, my MCS friend from Ontario for helping me to ride out the final day, Sunday, May 16th.  There are photos and posts that I cannot do from this library computer, and Liberty has offered to help me out.  She has a beautiful creative post to enjoy ... and will try to get a second photo-focused post up as well.  It's an exercise in trust for this old gal and to all who wonder how it's done all I can say is ... practice, practice, practice.

Hope the Carnival has something for your taste ... a tool to try, an angle or angel to invite into your practice, or a bit of prose, a photo or prayer that might be what you seek.  Many thanks to the seen and unseen guides that make life wonderful and diverse.  Or like Pete said to me as we were falling to sleep, "Hey, there are 7 dwarfs right?  NOt all of them is "Happy." 

Aloha,
Mokihana

MORE T A P for the Canary Caravan Carnival ... Saturday's Tools, Angels and Poetry

Four more grand submissions grace VardoForTwo with Tools, Angels and Poetry for our second day of MCS Awareness Month here under the tent of the Canary Caravan Carnival.

T is for TANGENT

"Cosmic Pie" is a piece I wrote a while back here on VardoForTwo.  Astrology has become a tangent and a tool that I am inspired by and infused with when others ways of understanding fall short.  This nibble at the twelve houses of the Natal Chart or "Cosmic Pie" is a tool that helped me to transform despair into a lesson not yet understood.  I weave astrology into all parts of my life today.  Read it with an open mind, and see what you think. 

A  is for ANGELS

cj Wright does not live with MCS, I discovered her when I first found astrology bloggers a couple years ago.  Over the while I have come to consider her an unexpected, and delightful ally.  cj's article, "Entertaining Angels Unawares" is a heart-warming offer of hope.  When an eternal optimist looses hope, angels cluster in tight and loving circles.  Read this and feel the love that is always present.

P is for POETRY

Daisy O aka Anita Freshair is a Canary living in Olympia Washington.  I was first introduced to Daisy when I learned she and her husband were going to build a safe haven home on wheels.  Canaries on wheels share a kindred spirit and the process is unique for each of us.  Daisy authors a blog documenting her wheelie home progress, and she includes beautifully heart-felt poetry ... like the one she allowed me to republish here on The Canary Caravan Carnival. 

P is also for PROSE

Susie Collins is founder and blogger of the online support community and network The Canary Report.  I asked Susie to write about her passion that fuels the heart of The Canary Report.  Her prose speaks about her collaborative history and gives the online world a look at what makes a 'Canary' such as she.  It's a look at an activist and community builder that inspires and serves to make an online personality more real.  Thanks, mahalo for this view of yourself, tita.
Many, many mahalos to "Anita Freshair" and Susie Collins for these submissions!

Poetry from Anita Freshair ... "Sad Songs not by Elton John

A Canary's song is sweet

Usually it's true

Her rolling chirps and tweets

So nice to listen to


But Karen sings a sad song

While in her cage she sits

"I can't stay here for long

This place is just the pits"


Crowded out by toxic scents

In a toxic neighboorhood

She must move to the country

Where the air is fresh and good


Karen's song's more sad these days

She'd like to tell you why

It's tough to maintain her chirpy ways

She doesn't want to cry


But one by one

She lost each one

Who once had said

They care


It hurts a lot

Hope's all she's got

They'll stop

Wearing what they wear


Would they ask her to walk

On her broken bird leg?

Or stick sweets

In her diabetic beak?


Would they force her to cheep

With laryngitis?

Give bird blood when she's

Already weak?


She's invisibly ill

So she let's out a shrill

'Cause it seems like

No one can see


Would you care if it was

Your daughter or son?

Would you care

If you were like she?


She awaits her new home

It won't be too long

She'll keep having hope

She'll sing a new song

Daisy O authors a blog about her life with MCS, and the building of a safe haven of a tiny home on wheels.  Her poems penned as "Anita Freshair" are the heart-felt renderings of a young woman in the process of reassembling her life. 

Mahalo, Daisy!

PROSE from Founder of The Canary Report ... Susie Collins writes about her passion

Notes from Mokihana

The Canary Report is a very successful and collaborative example of resourcefullness and service with its focus on MULTIPLE CHEMICAL SENSITIVITIES.  "The Canary" is the creation of founder Susie Collins, who lives and blogs from the island of Hawai'i.  I found Susie and The Canary in the early days of living back on the North American continent when the symptoms and despair of MCS had us in a swhirl.  The blog was smaller then, yet there was support and wide-open arms with the flavor of Hawaii that is always a core of nurturing for me.  Here is a piece of prose that I asked Susie to contribute.  It's a view of this wahine that fills out the hard-working public relations that she does with the online community that swells with spirit.  Susie likes to say, "Together, We are stronger"  in Hawaiian that would be Onipa'a Kakou.  Mahalo Susie for your expression ... your mana'o.


Aloha Mokihana!


Thanks for inviting me to join your Canary Caravan Carnival! This has been an amazing MCS Awareness Month, full of fun and creative activities, and I think this 1st Annual Canary Caravan Carnival is the most fun idea ever!


You’ve asked me to write about the passion that fuels my work at The Canary Report, and about my passion for collaborating with other bloggers to create resources for people with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. I’m happy to share some thoughts on that.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a passion for activism and community work. In high school, I went door to door with petitions about water rights on the island of Molokai, and while at university I worked on a 65-foot schooner that sailed inter-island teaching kids about ocean resources.

Later, when I owned by own bookshops, I started a women’s group where we gathered every full moon to dance on the beach to the beat of our own drums. That morphed into local community work, which evolved into local political work and getting involved in the 2004 election season, where I then ventured out of my comfort zone to work on the presidential campaign in Boston and DC. For the past few years, I’ve been part of a group fighting the development of a veneer mill and power plant planned for our tiny village.

Meanwhile, in 1995, I’d developed MCS, and as time progressed, I became less and less able to work out in public. I’ve been incredibly lucky these past 10 years to work as an assistant to the chancellor at the local university, where I do communication materials. The incredible thing is, my boss allows me a home office. I used to go into the chancellor’s office every couple of weeks to meet with her, but after they renovated the building with new carpet and furniture a couple of years ago, I couldn’t even do that anymore. Exacerbating the problem was the toxic emissions from our active volcano, called vog, further restricting me from venturing out.

So I knew that if I wanted to continue with some sort of public service activity, I was going to have to figure out how to do something online, where I could do good work, but in the safety of my home office.

And that’s how The Canary Report was born. I thought I could take all the skills I’d developed throughout my working life and public service activities and apply them to creating a super online resource about Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. Plus, I really love social media, and I wanted to start my own blog and online social network. I thought all those factors might be combined into creating an exciting and worthwhile online project about MCS.

If you look at the way I’ve done public service, community work, and activism throughout my life, you’ll see a pattern of teamwork and collaboration in everything I do. I love organizing things for others, helping with documentation so everyone is informed and included, creating schedules and goals so everyone can participate, helping the group create a common vision. I believe that leadership means listening to all points of view and inspiring all group members to participate. I love empowering people to fight for what’s right, fight for the underdog, protect the weakest of the group, and work hard toward improving the quality of life for everyone. And I love giving people a platform to be heard, to be respected and honored for what we in Hawai‘i call their mana‘o, their opinion.

That’s why The Canary Report has so many contributors and guestbloggers. And that’s why I love our online community so much, there’s so much wisdom there! Providing a platform for others to do good work, to dialogue, to share all they know about MCS makes me very happy. I’m driven with a passion to do all I can to help people with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity get the information and support they need to live the healthiest, most productive lives possible. So it makes me very happy to see our thriving network of hundreds of people helping each other cope with MCS.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who is part of The Canary Report’s blog and online social network. I am so proud of our canary community! I’m proud about how kind everyone is to each other, how supportive, wise and compassionate. I want to thank everyone for all your support. Together, we are stronger!

Aloha,

Susie



--

Susie Collins

The Canary Report

Poetry ... reflections and feelings about my life with MCS now

Hi!

I hope this is not too late to enter for the event. I don't think I'm good at poetry, but this reflects my feelings about my life with MCS right now.



The ache, the pain,

Invisible ills,

All thanks to the

Miracle

Chemicals



The CEOs keep facts

Under lock and key

We know the truth

Whatever else we see



Deny it

Twist it

Dye it

Any color you want

The truth will be

Set free



We yearn for a place

On our finite earth

A place to call home

To breathe and live and love

Free of chemicals

Free to be productive

In society

Free to Be.



Chemicals have caged us

Too long

But now we know

And we will sing

Unitl the world hears our cry

--Foul!

And will quit poisoning our planet

With the modern miracle

Of chemistry.





Katrina Kluzik



Thank you for hosting this event!

Katrina





350!

Let's get it together and let's get it done!

350.org

Finding your Path ... A Visualization from an ally

Notes from Mokihana

Building upon the foundation of support suggested in Kay McCarty's article "The Impact of MCS on Self-Esteem" the following guided visualization as a 'form of meditation' raises the vitality of hope here in The Canary Caravan Carnival.  Joan Tucker is an ally, a friend to me before MCS can to stay.  We have been down paths together and separately.  Through the vessel of the internet, she viewed my changed life without commentary, and then with time, her 'following' became known.  We slowly reconnected and our alliance is new today.  Joan Tucker authors two blogs where her Taurus energy finds adventure and space for her creativity.  The guided visualization here, was customized for the Canary Carnival.  Joan's career as personal and professional coach and facilitator of wonderful gatherings and workshops is gratefully offered here as a TOOL from an ALLY.  

Mahalo Joan!

Mokihana and Pete 

The Impact of MCS on Self-Esteem

Notes from Mokihana
MCS Multiple Chemical Sensitivities is an illness that has changed my life.  MCS has changed the lives of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people on The Planet.  Some of us know that we have been affected by exposure to chemicals, toxics and toxins and the work of readjustments to a world and society with values that need to be chucked, recycled or amended begins/continues; and there are many more of us who remain unaware or unwilling to accept the reality of a very 'preventable' illness.  This first Canary Caravan Carnival is a celebration and a documentary on the reality of life with limits and structure incited by MCS.  The motivation for me to organize such a hopeful and unstructured event comes from two places:  first, MAY is MCS Awareness Month throughout the Earth; second, my personal passion for teaching where I find myself remains intact despite the odds.  Readers here at VardoForTwo have read and seen the stories that make up the truth of life for Pete (my dear man), JOTS (our dear kitty bump) and me. 

More than two years ago, when all hope dried up for me, I was guided to begin a relationship via the cellphone with a person who has been angel, guide, sister-in-recovery and skilled therapist.  Wherever and whatever I was experiencing or being challenged with I was supported by the thoughtful, compassionate skill of a woman who has worked the walk and could talk me through many rough spots.  Kay McCarty offers hope, humor and tools for times that have tested my inventory of self-worth and self-esteem.  That test is common for those who live with MCS.  The article that follows is an article that succinctly and compassionately describes the work of self-care that is so vital as one refashioned a value system that supports life with MCS.  I am grateful and appreciate of this guidance, and offer this unedited version of "The Impact of MCS on Self-Esteem" as the opening 'act' on VardoForTwo's First Canarary Caravan Carnival.

Mahalo nui loa, Kay
Mokihana and Pete

An edited version of this article appears in CIIN's "Our Toxic Times" April, 2010 edition. 

WELINA! WELCOME! ALOHA, The first Canary Caravan Carnival BEGINS

MCS Awareness Month throughout the Planet is in full-swing.  MAY is half way through it's calendar days, the real lives of all sentient beings are being lived in magnificently unique fashion.  Those of us who live with the reality, limitations and structure of environmental illness (EI) or MCS are a minority often silent or invisible to the society of humans in all corners, cities and environs. 

This first time for us on VardoForTwo bloggers carnival began weeks ago with a dream inspired by other blogging communities as a way to express the resilience, challenges and realities of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities.  When I introduced this project, I did it knowing the possibility that we would be 'on the move and limited in our access to resources' ... The possibility is here.  I blog from behind my "I Can Breathe" carbon-filtered mask seated at the shared library computer in Langley, Washington on Whidbey Island.  The Carnival continues with adjustments.  The horns, bells, and whistles of the internet are a bit limited and yet, what I can do is being done.

Back on an island again and CANARY CARNIVAL update

We - Pete, JOTS and me, are living on an island again, at least for the next while.  With lots of help from friends and neighboring contruction dudes, Pete was able to maneuver Bernadette the Beast of a WorkTruck and our VardoForTwo from its parking place in the Mill Town of Everett, Wa.  Several months ago I began communicating with MCS friends who own a cottage on the south end of Whidbey Island, just across the Sound from Everett.  The slow and clear communication process has paid off; we have an arrangement that suits the four people involved.  Our vardo is parked in the most level landing pad to date, our extension cord plugs into the east-side of the cottage and we are again parked in beautiful Northwestern woods.  This time, the tree-skins are those of cedar in the main with fir and pine to round-out the company.  A settled home where all the conscious choices of a fragrance free and chemical free environment are intact is a big first for us!  We are renting and working in trade a cottage with kitchen and bathrooms and a laundry set-up with no one else.  We are in a place alone, for the first time in years.  Our vardo continues to serve as safe and predictable sleeping haven and place of refuge and JOTS is a woods kitty again.

Our six-month stay in the Mill Town ended with new and evolving awareness.  MCS is a complex illness that requires such diligence and the energy to maintain stability and recovery is hard work.  The emotional-physical and relationship dynamics of living with multiple chemical sensitivities is difficult.  There is no way 'round it.  Each time we move our selves and the Vardo, there are expected and unexpected costs, losses and triumphs.  We give thanks to the friends who offer their space and their friendship on this journey of extremes and pray for the courage to make changes to ourselves one day at a time, one experience at a time.

In the next few days (in a week!) the first CANARY CARNIVAL will happen here on VardoForTwo.  The diverse experiences, Tools, Allies and Prose from people who live with this environmental illness will be posted on Friday, May 14th, Saturday, May 15th and Sunday, May 16th.  The inspiration and energy for this three day project began before our move from the Mill Town.  The project will happen ... yet, there will be adjustments because I am on the move and my access to blogging and internet is subject to 'the public.'  That is ... I use this library computer 59 minutes at a time and IF there are no scents or fragrances to prevent it.

HERE's a SHOUT TO ALL OUR CANARY FRIENDS AND ALLIES, who have been working on a submission for the three day Canary Carnival.  Please try to get your writing to me via email by Monday MAY 10TH.  I have less time to do individual emails to followup so, I hope you're following us here.  I know things will work out just as they ought with this Carnival ... so no pressure, no worry.  I'm excited to get the Canary Carnival Tents up next week ... and whatever we have under those tents will be perfect for awareness comes in degrees and that's just what is needed more and more degrees of awareness about WHAT IS MCS?

My 10 minutes warning flashed, so it's time to say a hui hou (till next time). 

Take care,
Mokihana and Pete