Harvest ... those things that abide ... one year's progress PART ONE

I've enjoyed reading the success stories of folk in the MCS community.  With access to the internet again, the ability to connect and share in healing and recovery journeys is the best sort of holiday present.  2010 has been a year of creative expression and change for me and Pete.  Ironically, the internet was not available to us most of this year, so the times when we did have it had to be focused and at the same time accepted as short windows of opportunity .  Blogging and surfing the web were replaced with the hands-on feet on the ground experiences of settling, setting root in a new place.  In May we boarded a ferry with our VardoForTwo and landed on Whidbey Island.  With rain drops fat and sloppy falling on the metal roof of our quonset shelter, and the radiant electric heat baking my right thigh there is time and circumstance for catching up on the wonderful harvest of progress.

First, let me celebrate the successes of sister Canaries who have made wonderful progress in the journey of healing from MCS.

Libby  blogs at MovingBeyondMCS

Libby began blogging about the small and giant steps of improvement and recovery from Multiple Chemical Sensitivities.  When her blog was infant she made it clear that her purpose was to chronicle the improvements in her life; the things that work for her; and the stories of others who are finding sources and experiences of recovery.

In 2010, I read how Libby has taken herself on a long and successful road trip to New York.  Libby lives in Canada, and her venture as well as the other posts of change and improvement are harvests of success.

Congratulations and Hurrah for you Libby!

LadyItchalot

Community forums and blogs introduce me to others with MCS.  Though I have had little contact or communication with LadyItchalot, I have read her experiences over the past two years on The Canary Report and Planet Thrive.  The link will connect you with LadyItchalot's current success and recovery in her own words.  I read the two part article on The Canary Report yesterday, and am truly filled with joy and hope after reading it.

This quote from LadyItcalot's story (Part 2) was especially resonant for me:

..."Let me please stress that I definitely still believe that we were chemically injured. What I now believe is that for most of us, there was another stressor at the time of injury. A stressor can be any of many different sources (physical, emotional, medical). MCS researcher Martin Pall addresses this in his NO/ONOO- theory with the eNOS, iNOS and nNOS. Brain retraining expert Ashok Gupta addresses that with amygdala co-wiring, as does Annie Hopper with her neural retraining"

This story of recovery and healing opens to the very broad band of opportunity and possibilities for reassembling life.  "There was another stressor at the time of injury" is a key factor for me.  Now that we are on Whidbey Island and have planted the seeds of a new life into this island community, those other stressors have a chance to surface and heal.  My blogging is one form of re-wiring and using the gifts of growth and creativity to heal.  Patience is necessary in large stores and others recovery stories fan the flames.  How grateful I am to have access to your story LadyItchalot in time to count it as a fine holiday present.  Thank you.

VFT
A year ago last summer(2009) Julie Genser founder of Planet Thrive did an extensive interview with Pete and me.  A Gypsy Life: Notes from the Diaspora has been a gateway ... a sign-post from which I have reviewed our journey.  The rune "Gateway" serves as reminder to review and consider what life has been like in all its phases and myriad forms before stepping through the gate to things yet to be. 

We have planted the seed of a new life, or 'new normal' and need to recount and value the progress we have made.  Here are a few of my favorite sprouting successes.  From Julie's interview with Pete and me I find these successes,and count them as presents.

A quonset kitchen

A year ago summer we were camped on The Ledge in the Woods, and cooked under our tarp-roofed outdoor kitchen.  Our outdoor kitchens have served us well during the summers.  When the temperature and weather changes to winter, other arrangements need to be concocted. 

Here, now though you have no pictures to confirm it, we have the quonset kitchen to enjoy degrees of comfort, warmth and respite like we have not had in a long stretch of time. 

We count this as a present, and give thanks to the guidance and generosity of a very creative Creator.

Intentional Community

This is part of the answer I gave Julie Genser when she asked us to describe our vision of an "Intentional Community" we would like to created.

"I think our original vision for intentional community was more idealistic. With each day and night of life from the Vardo that vision tempers. I see how slowly change comes and try to keep it simple. An intentional community might include the following basics:


1) clean air

TODAY
Here in South Whidbey the air is clean and fresh on most days and nights.  Winter wood burning is an issue, and we need to close up the vardo and sometimes I use oxygen to ride out the exposure to the smoke.  The present comes from having both the vardo which seals well against things like smoke, and having the resources to pay for tanks of oxygen when I need it.

2) clean water

TODAY
We share the well water with our friends  and landladies.  We choose not to use the water for drinking or bathing because the minerals and sediment from all manner of stuff is not the best for us.  What we have done for many years is to carry a portable RO (reverse osmosis) water purification system to filter the well water.  With the quonset kitchen in place, the filter works wonders from the faucet Pete has in the sink.  Slowly yet steadily we filter a half gallon of water at a time. 


HOT CLEAN WATER is the other blessing that comes from like in an evolving process.  Thanks to our friend Joan, who suggested the idea of using a big old fashioned coffee pot as a mini hot water tank, we have a small stainless steel percalator that is our hot water tank.  8 cups of filtered hot water is available any time for washing/bathing/drinking.  It's sheer luxury 8 cups at a time!

3) safe sleeping spaces

TODAY
The Vardo for Two is that for us and we love it, love it love it!

4) quiet times often

TODAY
Dreams do come true when you tether them to the footwork of risk taking and hard work.  Our place here in the forest is quiet often.  The loudest sound I hear now is the air filter and the fat drops of rain on the quonset roof.


We have separate yet close enough to our near neighbors living.  We have established respectful and consistent boundaries between us.  We have learned from the other shared living experiences and grow in our ability to live without unnecessary walls.  Since we live from small space, the outdoors is our living room and the walk between our neighbors home and the vardo or quonset give us plenty of quiet, often.

5) organic local food/growers and garden space to tend and harvest

TODAY
South Whidbey and Whidbey Island as a whole is a mecca of organic, local growers.  We have made connections with them through the Farmer's Markets and through community groups like Transition Whidbey.  Here on the land where we live, nine ducks, three chickens and an orchard of fruit trees give us what we have dreamed could happen. 


There is plenty of maintenance to keeping the critters happy and the trees healthy.  Next year there will be time to do a little more than we have done this year. 

6) respectful human relationships

TODAY
With each camping place we have taken Vardo For Two we learn what it means to be a human in respectful relationships.  That is a process that doesn't happen quickly, and with the lessons that challenge us because MCS makes us 'different' the process is one of learning and unlearning as much as healing from environmental illness.


Growing respectful of ourselves and others means I practice the things that have worked for me as an abiding process.  I practice the principles and practices of The Twelve Steps.  I remember that I am a Makua O'o and I use the memory of my Hawaiian culture as a backbone to connect with a Higher Power. 

Pete and I learn how to sustain and nurture a partnership of equals and give each other the room to be given the tiny spaces from which we grow our home.  Having the quonset extends this option to have separate, though small space.

I'll continue tomorrow with Part Two of Harvest and make notes on the remaining parts of the Intentional Community we envisioned.

7) openness to sharing resources

8) laughter whenever possible, if not more

9) fragrance- and chemical-free

10) a spiritual connection with Earth and Ke Akua (Source, Higher Power) that is the foundation"

Photography from the Founder of Planet Thrive... Julie Genser shares her "Portrait of a Life with Chemical Sensitivities"

This photographic contribution to the Canary Caravan Carnival is by Julie Genser, the creator of Planet Thrive. 

Notes from Mokihana:
Julie Genser is one more brave and creative EI-MCS siter who has created and founded an on-line community to serve in multiple ways. These photo chronicles are powerful visuals that humble me and fuel my energy to be who I am ... just as I am for my limitations are a structure that is me. It is true for all of us with chronic and all too often invisible illness and disability.

Mahalo Julie for your photo characterization ...
Mokihana

Some details from the above image:

BRAIDING: a metaphor used again and again

www.mrsstitch.com/images/StitchGuide/Braid.jpg

Pete and I have spent the last couple of hours in comfortable companionship in the basement space that is our homespace away from the vardo.  "Nice morning," he said.  "Yes, a new normal ha?"  I said.  Pete continued reading the comics in the one slightly risky wooden chair that is part of our minally accomodating seating choices.  JOTS has not moved from the nest she finds most pleasant, a nest made from the organic cotton sheet that serves as lots of things in our life.  So far, JOTS nest is the most purposeful use thus far.  When we made the choice to build a tiny home on wheels we included the awareness of an extension cord life as essential; the vardo would not provide all the basic needs.  In less than a year we have lived in three different communities/with three different families-friends.  We have learned through those experiences to value the progress we have made and to re-evaluate what else we need to add back into our lives now that the intense spin of a life fueled on adenalin is slowing down.  The metaphor of a braided or unbraided life is one I have used to explain the process, and the metaphor has found its way into the tales I've written:  Sam and Sally was the first, and Wood Crafting came during the year just passed.  Blogs have been the venue of braiding the different voices or views of our lives, and to that process I am grateful.  Written braids have served my healing journey over and over again.

Through the access of keyboards and internet I watch the changing look of information as websites, community networks and blogs change:  a reflection of the authors' evolution.  Self-publishing becomes an organic function that all comers get to experience.  In particular, I observe how The Canary Report and Planet Thrive evolved during the past two years and less.  Both sites focus on the community of MCS and EI (multiple chemical sensitivities and environmental illness).  Both authors live with MCS and each braids their individual personality and focus with different styles.  Each of those community networks has given me and hundreds (thousands more likely) of people with MCS the support, forum for voice, and resources to make informed decisions to aid in a healing journey that fits the unique need of the individual.  Many other resources for the environmentally affected population are now available, among them HEAL, MCS America and CIIN (Chemical Injury Information Network) have served over the longer period of time.  I include these three among the many because I have used the information found there in my own life. 

The Wildness in the kitty and we

Winter Solstice is less than 7 nights away. Our journey as old ones living from the dandelion colored wheelie home will find us welcoming the promise of longer days and shorter nights ... more light in this tiny nest with muted light. Coming through the darkness I am grateful for the truth of connection with people and matters that are of value. An email from a sister MCSer told me of her courageous air travel to be with her dear aging mother. Her first trip, a long one, a toxic and fright inducing plane ride was as expected difficult, exhausting and debilitating and she was without doubt doing the absolute best thing by being with her parent. A first visit in 8 years. There is courage and focus of right intent. Powerful medicine.

JOTS our tamed wild White Center kitty of one year past is becoming tamed and lulled by the warmth of an upholstered office chair and a warm place to eat, drink and be inside. She has never liked cold (do any cats?) and cold and wet together are conditions she would soon dismiss from her domain. It has been six weeks here in the Mill Town, and the wildness in the kitty and we needs to be remembered. In kitty's case, after hours of sleeping on the upholstered commuter chair Pete lifted her totally relaxed black rug of a self up and ooshed her out the door. By the time I had cleaned up the bowls from our delicious stew of tasty chicken and beet greens, wrapped what was left of the done to perfection winter squash I too was ready for a bit of the wildness that this town offers. I can be in the basement kitchenette for no longer than an hour at a time before I feel the need for outside. I imagine and remember the clear and oxygen thick nights back on the ledge, and step out into the night that is Everett. It's been raining and that has cleared the air of some of the mill smell. Rounding the side of the house, I stepped between the tiny balcony on our friends' home and the lanky ledge that divides the two tightly built view lots. As if both JOTS and I were back in the dark nights walking the path on the Ledge, the black streak of feline movement was familiar. She sprang from beneath the balcony and took the lead. She always likes to lead while on the trail. Wildness not so completely lost to the pampered times on an upholstered chair.

Wildness is resilient and her roots run deep. Thank the gods! Here is a wonderful link I discovered after a visit to Julie Genser's place Planet Thrive. The link introduced me to a wonderful herbal wise woman, and the post was about DANDELION. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing and the reminder of one of our most favorite of wild flowers. I have snipped a small bit of this beautifully written characterization of the wild and beautiful DANDELION, click on the link above to read the entire article. What a wonderful talisman of wildness to take into the week of the darkest nights just before the promise of more light to come. From Medicine Woman Kiva Rose:

...In many ways, Dandelion is the very definition of insistent wildness, of life that survives and thrives anywhere, anytime, anyhow. Perpetually persecuted, it still adapts to nearly any climate, seeds itself in concrete, rock crevices, chemical-laden yards, vacant lots, and even in a sprinkle of earth and rock tossed atop a slab of metal. Dandelion is persistence, joy in the face of adversity and bliss even while broken-hearted. Dandelion is also sunshine with teeth, for her very name is from the French Dent de lion, meaning teeth of the lion."

Are you a dandelion lover?

A Jumble of Juggling, Sovereignty & Navigating by the Sky with MCS

Anyone who consciously lives with MCS (there are so many more of us who don't yet realize their experiences are an illness/disease and not just a vivid imagination or undiagnosed allergies) knows that searching for safe and supportive community is difficult. Isolation-avoiDANCE the extreme case of independence brought on by the sole 'cure' for this environmental illness can make a dear soul koo-koo. It's lonely without believers and support. Stories of individual human beings and families of beings who live in cars or attempt to live in a safe-for-them haven are showing up in mainstream news. The world is being called to recognize us. So few outside those who live it understand and respond. Thanks to the work of bloggers and social networkers like Susie Collins (The Canary Report) and Julie Genser(Planet Thrive and MCS Safe Homes), MCS community grows in spite of the inconvenience it creates for the mega industries and yet-to-be transformed systems of industry.

During the eleven months of blogging here at VardoForTwo, Pete and I have added two chapters to our six decades of life on the Planet. In Part I (between October 08 and April 09) we chronicled the process of being in one place for more than a few days at a time; and shared our process of building a mobile and mcs-safe mico-home. Once we hitched that micro-home called VardoForTwo to the rental truck in April of this year, Part II began with VardoForTwo on The Ledge in the Woods. Part II is coming to a near conclusion, and gods willing our Part III will begin sometime mid-October. The blog roll written by MCS Canaries has blossomed in the months since we launched VFT. More and more storytellers are getting it down on the page. A great body of work is becoming part of Earth's history. MCS blogs are important stuff. Every story counts, every anecdotal record makes a huge impact on the truth of Earth's condition at present.

I've added two new blogs and added back another blog that was removed when I did some blog-remodeling some while back.

• First there's Daisy O and her husband are building an MCS safe for them Tiny Home. Those who originally starting following our progress to build Kolea Nani (VardoForTwo) might want to give Daisy and KC (her kane) some support and attention as they create their dream. Tiny, moveable or mobile MCS homes is a relatively new subset of the Tiny Home revolution pioneered by people like Jay Shafer of Tumbleweed. Like anything revolutionary, the seeds of change will grow in people/energy fields ripe for creatively and persistently making changes ... not necessarily adapting, surely adjusting though the qualities that translate. Daisy and her husband are one of those new pioneers. Watch them grow.
  
• Another young woman "AMESTRESS" (real name or not) has been blogging since February of 09 ... this just in ... permission to use this description from Amestress's profile: "I am not how I appear. But then again, how would I know? One thing I know is I am very focused on recovering from MCS."

This is a person with the spirit of a dancer, and she dances a lot on her blog. Movement is vital, move it or lose it comes to mind. I've just begun to read her blog and there is plenty to read with more than 800 posts on Life the Final Attempt (not really!) and she has a wit, spunk and style about her that is well ... pure youth. She reminds me of the energy vibe I get when I visit my friend Leslie who blogs on the Oko Box. I can say that with wistful Aunty love from this side of the mountain with more than sixty solar returns on my Brownie Badge. These women give me hope for a sustaining future. Amestress is dealing with the reality of this illness in a way that seems to fit her. MCS is a serious illness that easily flattens the heartiest among us. Discovering those who are living with the seriousness while maintaining their personality(their Sun sign shining through) ... I would guess Amestress is maybe an Aries, Leo or Libra. If I'm lucky she'll tell me and that would be fun. One thing that I'm learning from my jumble of juggling this life is to find wisdom in lots of places: the internet, the common squirrel outside, my kitty Jotz (pure LEO) and for sure, I navigate by the Sky and the wisdom of astrology.

NAVIGATING by the Sky

Saturn(control) SQUARES Uranus(sudden change) and lots of Neptune in my whirl

I am a Hawaiian, and Pete is a Mid-western born Hawaiian in the heart. Someday we will be back on the AINA (on the islands of my birth). One thing is for sure, my culture travels with me and it spills into our Vardo like coconut butter (yummmmm). I am a Hawaiian activist, a believer in the Nation of Hawaii and the rights of Kanaka Maoli (the first people of the islands) as a sovereign and self-governing nation. Our life as wanderers with multiple chemical sensitivites challenges me to maintain my roots. Distance counts for a woman who needs to 'see her people' and MCS creates such a barrier since I can't be near most of my family because they STINK (Seriously Think I'm Not Kidding ... but still aren't fragrance and chemical free). Anyway, I ramble as I juggle. However, I recognize more clearly today the inseparable connection between my life as a woman with MCS and my kuleana (responsiblity) as a Hawaiian sovereignty activist. Both roles are consistent: they seek to be recognized and respected against all odds. There's a lot to be done to have MCS recognized and the solutions in place of the problems; and the Rights of the Kanaka Maoli have been ignored for more than 100 years. What I see in the sky with Saturn and Uranus squaring off during the coming months is an unavoidable shift in the status quo. Things are going to rock! What roots will fly, what flies will root. (watch for this chant in my up-coming fairy tale Tree Skins.)

HOLLOGRAMS: Truth or Untruth

I have been a rabid learner and fan of astrology even though for decades I really hadn't a real clue of what I was looking at when I read my astrology chart. In the early years, I counted on an astrologer to tell me what was on those charts and I tried to understand things, get a feel for the planets, signs. I read "Your Daily Horoscope" bits from the newspaper and then on-line. See, I've always sought answers from the ethers/others and weighed them against my practical (Capricorn) nature. More recently and particularly since we began building our vardo, Elsa P. from ElsaElsa.com has become a first rate astrology teacher. I'm not putting the gal on a pedestal and she would be the first to say DON'T DO IT. Or, if you do it, it's guaranteed you'll be shooting me down when your projection/veil drops. I'm blattering on about who I am, and how I navigate because it's important to me that those who come here know who I really am. I'm an activist. I'm a Hawaiian. Hawaiians are more than an illusion. We are real people who battle to be recognized. Ah, that sound familiar ... We are people with MCS and we battle to be recognized.

Here's where the astrology of things helps me out. I have Neptune (planet of illusion and magic) in my mid-heaven. It's how people see me. That shifts and changes, people see what they want to see and if I'm not sure ... I might let them see what they want even if that's not really me. Confused? Try living inside this gal for 60+ years. (Just kidding, that is not an invitation!) Here's something Elsa wrote several years ago (click there to read the whole article). It illustrates two things: why I like the way she sees astrology in real life, and what it's like to be living with an illusive illness.


...Real unreality is everywhere you turn. You think something is real (Saturn) but hey! Maybe not!

And personally, I am in element. All the sudden I am making sense to people! Intuition (Neptune) is real (Saturn). Magic (Neptune) is real (Saturn) The ethereal is now real and the real is ethereal and it just keeps going back and forth like that.

I began writing fairy tales once I parked myself on the Ledge in the Woods. In my real adult life decades ago I was paid to write corporate training manuals. One old-time friend commented on my blog, "This is the writing that was waiting to be written." Real or unreality?

Ke Ala O Ka Mahina(the Hawaiian moon calendar)

The 'ole days of the moon just past were powerful. Our choice to become more conscious of Mahina's energy (Lunar energy) in our lives, has established a routine of attending to the how and what we have done in small chunks of time. The 'ole days are review times, not more do times.

From the website the HAWAIIAN MOON CALENDAR:

'Ole Ku Kahi, 'Ole Ku Lua 'Ole Ku Kolu, 'Ole Pau (Seventh to tenth nights)

This is an unproductive time, for `ole means 'nothing', 'without', 'unproductive'. The tides are dangerous and high. The sea is rough and fishing is poor. Some recommend that planting be minimal until `ole pau which ends this unproductive period.

In addition to the 'ole days, I considered the retrograde of Mercury (click on that link for some insight) during these 'ole days and weighed the many contacts and communications we've been having or searching out during the last months and especially, the last three weeks.

We have posted ads, responded to emails and gone back and forth with communications since July with people who might have a place for us to hook-up our vardo and create community with us. The process is hard work, a full-time job and the pay ... is invisible, internal. Like blogging where the blogger can never know who will come to visit/comment/be affected most of our contacts with people are 'stranger meeting stranger.' I know, the internet is all about this sort of relationship, all the more Neptune to spread the mischief of pretense. What is valuable for this post is our intent to be honest, respectful and real in all our communication. Smoke and mirrors abound, and if we pretend to be something we aren't, well we're at major risk. Here's a snip from the latest email and reply between a kind woman who was considering sharing her home with us after reading a flier we left on a bulletin board.

I said,

"Thank you very much for these communications. Our life is one of very clear boundaries, without them we are at risk. We have decided based on our communication back and forth, to pursue other options. Good luck with your search for congenial and trustworthy folk to share your space. I'm happy to learn you are making conscious scent/chemical free choices (she has consciously decided not to use pesticides on her land/home), and wish your daughter safe and gentle times. We are very good people, and you sound like one fine person and a very responsive/loving mom. (Her daughter is fragrance and chemical sensitive). MCS folks are not always as fortunate to have understand and responsive family."

She said in reply,

I have appreciated our communication, and wish you best of luck in your search for the right spot for you both. I have been a bit inspired by the room you built, and am interested in many aspects of healthy, sustainable living/dwelling. It feels like we are so off on the wrong foot in much of our culture, and our immune systems are less able to handle the onslaught. Wishing you fine people good health and happiness.

Mercury continues to be retrograde until the 29th (tomorrow) and there are options for winter space pending ... the options are in our IN BOX, and we're waiting while doing what can be done. This post is something I can do to make my intentions and my identity as honest and real as I can. It will be important as the next chapter of our unfolding lives offers up a blank slate. It is very possible this blog will change significantly when we leave the Ledge. Perhaps with that in my intuitive mind, I wrote Part 2 of the fairy tale WOOD CRAFTING so I'd remember what it was really like to live with fairies, the nature of trees and the possibilities of magic.

From the floor in VardoForTwo on the Ledge in the Woods,
Mokihana


Photo Credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/Egypt.jpg

Settling and Post #200

The quiet of morning is long here. The sun rises through the long-legged firs near The Big House at 5:30 in the a.m. From the inside of the Vardo the promise of a sunny morning shows itself in the very tips of the trees across the glen. A small pocket of golden watercolors the green of the Pond. Pete and I watch, still too comfortable under the covers to open the door. Slow ... that's what happens here on the Ledge. The rush to be heard settles, waits. In such huge country the increments of time are truly minute. I feel the moments and then watch my cat go from dust ball covered with fir droppings to stalker of the ground feeder birds. She offers the other extreme and that stirs us. Slow to lightning quick without transition.

Life from VardoforTwo is making the difference. Writing from my front porch steps the shadow of the Vardo gives me shade in the deepening sunshine. Summer is here, summer is hear. The cicada, the wind, the wind chime, a quiver of Fireweed not yet in bloom, and the birdsong, and beesongs, the tap of the keys on my laptop. The quiet of the Ledge is such accepting background to it all. Even the whirling thoughts in my mind rest and space is cleared for whatever shall unfold.

For the time being we are settling in to the life here on the Ledge. It comforts me after I shift from worry to the quiet of one Ledge moment. The old blue Coleman cooler stores our food with blocks of ice we buy in town. The single burner Toastmaster hotplate serves us sufficiently as tea kettle incitor and omelet maker. The thrift store toaster oven continues to toast and bake the foods we choose to eat ... barley bread studded with raisins, a turkey meat loaf stuffed with organic veggies, flax and sprouted wheat toast. The outhouse walls are up and serve us even while we wait to get our version of a luggable lu fabricated.

It's July 2nd, and in a day or two the fireworks our neighbors buy to celebrate America's birthday will pollute the air, ground,water and all the beings with poisons and noise. We prepare for a car trip (VardoForTwo will wait for another day) the old tent and newer air mattress airing in the hot sun just in case a camp spot is sweet and safe enough for a 4th of July. Anything is possible on those road trips ... we know the range of possibilities. At the moment peace prevails. No urgency worth expending energy. Settlers we are, my cat and me. The Ledge is making a difference.

Another thing that is making a difference is my recent discovery of the cd Sui created by Derval Dunford, a beautifully voiced woman of Ireland. I listened to a clip from that gem of a meditation tape just before posting, and look at what happened ... gentle morning makings. Thanks Liberty for linking me to the clip and also steering me to Planet Thrive's interview with Derval Dunford. The miracles are everywhere and to be where the miracles are ... that's an event worth celebratin'!