Team Up and Inventory your Tools

Moon Time and Prayers

The old moon is in its final stages.  Yesterday and last night was 'Ole Pau.  I remembered to say my prayers of thanks to Akua Kanaloa and Kaloa, mindful of the gods as I went about my repairs (washing pillow cases and our futon cover by hand in a dishpan, and drying them over the heater; recovering from an exposure ). 

"Mahalo Ke Akua, I repeated over and over."  When the sun came up the light from Ka La shone bright through the tall standing trees.  I chanted "Ea La e, ea La e," over and over again.  If during the course of the moon I forget the deeply restorative nature of my ancestral roots, it is during the 'Ole Cycle when I am consciously slowed that I partner with intuition and attend to repairing and patching, reevaluating and giving thanks.

The  exposure during the 'Ole cycle was a self-imposed one.  We have had the distraction of a tiny television and a DVD player upon which we could watch favorite movies, over and over again!  The DVD player began sticking weeks ago.  Pete figured out how to make it work.  But, the 'fix' involved opening up the player and priming the disc like priming a pump or turning the handle on a Model T auto.  The innards of the player got warmer and warmer and finally the smell was toxifying, and my lungs and brain were frazzled.  Re-visiting your decisions and choices ... that's what 'Ole cycles are about for us.  Where is the TV and DVD?  Banished for the while under the tarp house. 

I am recovered with the help of my NAET practices of moving qui down my spine and out the bottoms of my feet; nebulizing glutithione, and using glutithione in a nasal spray.  In addition, we unplug the vardo of electricity at different times and slept for six hours last night without EMFs and it was a very different kind of sleep.

PART TWO of Relationships : The potential of The Composite Chart/Report for a couple living with MCS

What is a Composite Chart?

Elsa Panizzon, author and creator of the astrology blog Elsa Elsa.com describes a Composite Chart this way,

"As for calculating a composite chart, there are various ways but most common is to take the midpoint between the two Suns and that becomes the Composite Sun. The midpoint between the Moons becomes the Composite Moon, etc. I like this method probably due the Libra in my chart as the two individuals meet in the middle and this becomes the relationship. :)"


Why Astrology?

The short answer is why not. 
Astrologer Liz Greene from Astro.co presented a seminar given on April 27, 1997  "One and one equals three Relationships and how to survive them."  I found the seminar in print while researching this article for VardoForTwo.  The entire seminar on The Composite Chart by Liz Greene can be found here.  Part of Greene's work is used here to set the stage for viewing the relationship that includes the challenges of living with MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivities).  Greene said:

The composite doesn't seem to describe what either person feels about the other...When we are looking at a composite chart, we are not exploring what two people activate in each other or feel about each other. We are interpreting the energy field they generate between them. The composite chart is like a child, a third entity which carries the genetic imprints of both parents but combines these imprints in an entirely new way and exists independently of either of them...

My motives for digging into the composite chart as a form of navigation stem from the very real and often times confusing cross-roads Pete and I find ourselves at over and over again.  One of my favorite readings from the book Courage to Change reminds me that confusion can sometimes be a gift. "Looking back on instances when I felt desperately in need of an immediate solution, I can see that often I wasn't ready to act. When I became fully ready, the information I needed was there for the taking."

We are not a young couple starting a new relationship.  We are instead a couple in our 60's who came together late in life, and with us we brought a life-time of energy and history, and modes of thinking and behaving.  Seven years ago, a boatload of challenges pulled up with our names on it.  The boatload is often more than we can understand or tolerate without help. 

It has been my choice to seek out astrology as a compass when inner guidance seems mis-placed.  Since the intent of the Composite Chat/Report is to 'interprete the energy field (two people) generate between them' I saw this as an opportunity.  All relationships generate an energy field between them.  The added dimension of a relationship coping and managing the effects of MCS with its changing manifestations deserves all the insight available.    Astrology and the Composite Chart of two people living with the choices of others (and who among us doesn't) is a means to make sense of things that are beyond our control, and like all spiritual paths, there are so many ways to get there from here. Rather like redirecting the energy we have used trying to fight the illness, tools like this Composite Report aids in recovering and shoring up from the effects of the illness.

The bones of this article is the Composite Report prepared for Pete and me by Elsa Panizzon from the astrology blog ElsaElsa.com.  Elsa did not calculate and narrate the report personally. She uses the software available to her to do the composite, and provides this service at a price affordable for many, including us.  I have culled the report and used particular aspects, planet positions and narration to shed light on the way our relationship might respond to episodes, exposures and challengres specific to our journey with MCS. 

Our journey in VardoForTwo is a boatload of experiences that could benefit  from insight we might otherwise mis-understand as oppression without cause.  The Composite Report that follows points out and lays out the combined energy and talents from a broad view.  It helps to see what others see in you, sometimes it's tough to get that vantage point when you're busy bailing water. 

Relationships

     Well, it is time to make it up as I go along.  A term I often use to describe my method of building something from scratch. New, used, sometimes borrowed materials and tools in hand plus the belief that it's possible to do.  I did not say when such a proposed idea will be finished because my life has yet to succumb to any ruler, yet finishing can make life more comfortable and fun.
 
     So Mokihana's and my Relationship includes the life skills, love, early childhood training, compassion, exciting possibilities, trust, individual and mutual choices, care and share,  willingness to be attentive, supportive,  belief in continuing education, kindness, occasional goofy/crazy, joyful,  plus love of the universe.   Keeps us busy and it turns out prepared us to live with EI and MCS.  Like a swinging pendulum,  living in a world saturated with chemicals/smoke/mold/cat dander/incense/perfume and cold,  we travel back and forth everyday from involvement with everyday life to isolation from it. The impact of an unexpected sudden exposure is unpredictable and often confusion reigns. I use the overly protective response and Mokihana will establish her boundaries while we muddle through when the world is swinging the pendulum faster than normal.  With our love and all the above, we rely on our Relationship to slow the reactionary responses, smooth the unevenness into calmness and resort back to taking all the increased  amount of necessary steps living with MCS demands.  Time consuming to the point of  it having a life of its own  because short cuts will restart the cycle all over again. The Relationship is the arbitrary/solidified, go to/fall back and expected/fulfilling life's gift, that together we have nurtured  with Akua's guidance.

     Borrowing from other chemical sensitve's life stories and learning through our daily experiences, I trust Mokihana's decisions of what is healthy for us and what is harmful.   In return I had to gain Mokihana's trust that the choices I make will not compromise our fragile existence. Lots of good intentions has posed the most challenges to our Relationship. I have become more sensitve from living this chemical/fragrance free life so I also participate in occasions of brain fog,  sometimes causing unnecessary exposures to us both.  These episodes have had a devastating effect me and I struggled to recover when most often  time would heal. Trying to determine the meaning of being dependent on each other and responsible to ourselves requires a calm open way of communicating with each other.  Knowing we can settle into a time for listening and sharing our feelings makes life so enjoyable for me, "time it is  time it was  a time of innocence"         

     The lessons have been learned only now waiting to be followed like me wearing a mask when subject to an exposure.

Pete

SLow

Winter slows things up.  I sat at the keys yesterday after a doozie of an 'Ole Cycle (it is not all cruise and chill-out, as I flippantly wrote in my last post) with an idea for a two-part article.  Pete was tucked back into the vardo and JOTS tended to herself with no particular interest in blogging.  Getting back into the  practice of writing on the keyboard takes a bit of retraining.  My solitary life sometimes freezes me up with over analysis, and no writing and that can simply defeat the purpose of being alive.  I feel the pressure of my the belt move against my belly.  Okay, there is life.I spent a chunk of time researching the topic for the article and began the 1st draft.

Some writing, most writing is done over time.  Good writing grows with practice, and the technology of blogging and social mobility of the internet would have me(us) believing writing just happens.  Well, yes and no.  Sitting here this morning, I write to get my fingers moving and my practice in place.  Winter does slow things down, and often the illusion that our tiny world lives from the vardo as 'less than____________" can dampen the soul. 

The late November ice-skid of an accident with our faithful 'Scout' the Subaru had the old gal in the auto body shop.  Pete worked with the repair man to be as careful about the methods of repair:  cautioning him to use no chemicals to clean, and to do as much of the body work outside the shop.  But after all of his best efforts, the hood and left-front of the car were painted and the VOCs from the job make it a no-go for me.  It's been almost three weeks since the car is back to us, and ten days for the work.  So the freedom of movement via a car has been slowed down. 

I notice the empty limbs of the apple trees and the cherry look bleak in the orchard beyond the wire fence.  Their old leaves rot into ground-cover turned over by the kick'n chickens and rooting ducks.  The trees don't seem to mind slowing down. 

Boundary matters

The Rune ALGIZ

Rune of Protection

Healing Rune of Boundaries

Once again the comfort of the baby blue metal quonset offers me a place to be at the keys.  Yes, JOTS is in her place, the ceramic heater runs electricity through its circuitry and warms me.  The humming melody of the  former JT and Weed refrigerator is doing its own music.  So, the quonset is a basic pulse of EMF (eclectromagnetic fields).  There's an up side and a down side to this setting:  up= we are sheltered, dry and warmer than if we weren't in the quonset; down=EMF make it difficult for me and others who are EMF sensitives.  One of the things I knew when we built V42 was the possibility of 'collecting' more electricty than I could manage would be there.  Our interior walls are stainless steel and a great conductor of such energy.  To deal with that possibility Pete and I went through many discussions, back-and-forths with the pros and cons, and in the end have limited electrical wiring and a stainless steel interior wall.  We are grateful for the home we have and now there are other boundary matters to address, there are always more. 

Metal is inert and the material of choice for me since I react negatively to many woods and painting/finishing has its long-term issues of chemical VOC and drying time issues.  Yak, yak, yak.  The point I'm at today is:  with time, life does reveal more.  Journeying as we are in Vardo For Two moving from denial to honesty is faster these days.  It's like we have little room for staying in the dark, and then there's Saturn, the task-master who is not allowing any back-peddlin'.  So, for the past couple of mornings I have been experimenting with being 'unplugged.' 

What is an UnPlugged Wahine in a Vardo?  Just that, a woman in a vardo unplugged from the source of electricity that runs a circuit to heat us, run the 60 watt lamp and air purifier.  Those are the basic electrical draws.  When the migraines started a week ago I stopped running the air purifier because I couldn't tolerate the sound.  That helped.  The ringing in my ears lessened.  That was nice.  I now keep the purifier off except from wood smoke is in the air or other smells need recycling.  My sleep has been noticeably different, and deeper.

Until the temperature rose to 40 (from 20) sleeping without heat would have been counter-productive.  Boundary matters are not either or-wall-making choices.  Sequentially we made changes that made sense for my over all well-being.  Now that the temperature is in the 40 degree range, being in the vardo UNPLUGGED is something to experience.  Here's what I'm finding:

1.  Still under all the blankets I have (three)
2.  Warm up the vardo before unplugging
3.  Shut all the windows
4.  Turn the heat out and turn anything else off
5.  Unplug the extention cord outside

6.  Get comfortable and cozy under the blankets
7.  I then do an NAET energy clearing exercise of rubbing  8 points on my hands, inner elbows, shins and top of the feet between the big toe and the next toe.  (If you need or want more clarification leave a comment and I'll try to get clearer for you)
8.  Then, I relax and generally do a slow and easy Relaxation Qi Gong ... relaxing from top of head to toe meditation.
9.  I really take it easy and basically let go.

10.   At first I feel the physical tension, and that's the truth.
11.  I keep breathing, and relax.
12.  I begin to see the streams of electricity, and that's the truth.
13.  I keep breathing, and relax.
14.  My body relaxes more deeply.
15.  My teeth unclench.
16.  The ringing in my ears softens.

17.  By the time my body notices 'cold' it's been about 30 minutes.
18.  Time to warm up, and gather my dear self together.
19.  I rub my hands together to end the clearing.
20.  I go outside and replug the extension cord.

21.  I notice the difference I feel:  detoxifying energy as in deep and restful sleep or deep meditation.
22.  Thank you.
23.  I turn the heat back on in the vardo and go to the quonset to make warm food for breakfast, and tell Pete how I'm feeling.

Why the picture above? 

Most days I begin by drawing at least one Rune stone.  I like to feel as others similarly do with the drawing of Runes, that I am calling home ... seeking counsel from the oracle.  I pulled ALGIZ today.  That's the Rune ALGIZ pictured above. 

Drawing this Rune is always about going a reality check on my boundary matters.  "Respect and protection for your feelings, your health and your well-being are almost always at issue when you receive the Rune of Boundaries ... Cherish your ability to set appropriate boundaries (and) create freedom..." So reads the interpretation from The Healing Runes by Ralph H Blum and Susan Loughan.

Another, new to me, interpretation from Rune Meanings sheds an appropriate angle on ALGIZ:

In terms of the journey, we have passed through death and rebirth, and must now face the Guardian before returning to our world. It is he who charges us to use our new-found power wisely. The person can no longer be simply concerned with their own personal development, but must now consider the effect that their actions may have on others. This is a crucial turning point, and the person will either choose to adopt a system of ethics or ignore the effect on others and only work to serve their own ends. Again, the sword is in their hands, but they must decide whether to use it for defense or offence.

http://www.runestones.com/RuneMeaning.htm

I would say my passage through the migraines and the experiences of new-found power is an example of power that must be used wisely.  I am comforted over and over again in the last twenty-four hours with the grace and gentle power of "creativity as the glue of social cohesion."  That's a quote from the YouTube Video of Cool Water Hula wahine, Kristi Hager.  Pete and I are loving the new possibility of wisely used power.  Link here I watch that YouTube, posted over at Makua O'o. 

I think I love that sort of glue.  Kristi Hager said, "We dance to change ourselves."  What a change in the story of boundary vs. wall, Kristi.  Boundaries matter. Hope you watch this video, and who knows maybe we'll b dancing to change ourselves, too.  You?

Pearl making

How is a pearl created?

The grit of life creates treasure.  What we believe changes.  Long may be the making of the pearl.  Yet if you are present for the process, no one can steal it nor value it as truly as you.

The storm has passed through.  The alder leaves have dried and fallen adding to the wet layer of rot.  The forest floor soaks the drench of rain, a breeze teases the ends of the huckleberry bushes and a tit-mouse hunts out the last of the dark sugar-rich berries.  News from our friends bring tidings about our favorite labrador, Bear.  A length of fishing line was pulled from his gullet, and difficulty digesting protein are the current challenges for the strong silent canine care-giver.  My prayers for his well-being connected me with this friend.  It feels good to have near neighbors who become more than neighbors with time and a commitment to grow friendship.

Our trailer built tiny haven of a home parks in the woods where we share land, place and life with folks.  We are new to this version of life on the planet and count as a blessing the stability this island community offers.  In no small way the journey here to South Whidbey has been one of pearl-making.  The grit of life has worn away many bits of life that once we held dear and requisite.  Forms of entitlement have been buffed down over the years since I lived in a gulch not far from old town Mukilteo.  Age, illness and unintended access to the essentials for true treasure slowly yet steadily rebuild my dreams and shore up my soul's desire.  Something else grows around the invasions to our life as oyster.  Uncertainty, yes there is that.

Winter 2010 marks the start of a season of staying.  The three years previous were part of the ending and new beginnings.  Numerology has an elegant way of conceiving and describing these cycles.  (More about numerology's role in the pearl-making will show up in future posts.)  My internet friend CJ Wright recently reintroduced me to the cycles of 9 when I won a giveaway on her blog Auntie Moon.  Such a timely gift.  (mahalo, cj!)  The wheeled haven is a seed proving to be one of hail quality.  Small, hearty, resilient, versatile and adaptable the lessons it shapes for us as we take it with us like land turtles affirms my choice to invest in it as "home."  From the vardo, our belief--our faith, in the process and a solid, nourishing future grows.  The curved oak roof, stone tile floor and inert stailness steel walls combine in a recipe of alchemy.  These materials were chosen with new focus and intent.  The choosing was tedious painstaking work with no prototype the gods and saints who know what home-building involves fueled Pete's mind and hands.  St. Joe the capenter surely had a hand in it.  To him and all others seen and unseen I am truly grateful.

Intuitive astrologer Elizabeth Rose Campbell describes what it takes to value the complex nature of creativity.  I love this paragraph from the chapter "The Aspects" in her book Intuitive Astrology. 

"Sometimes we must develop very sophisticated methods of combining talents to maximize our creative gifts to the world.  to do this, we need to be like the carpenter building a table. 

• Aware of the variables
• Present with our tools
• Our full attention, and
• A substantial fund of patience."

Reinspired, at just the right time Elizabeth Rose Campbell's counsel returned in a big, black plastic bag.  When this journey of heightened sensitivities began my reality, books, among the many treasured past-times were a no-go for me.  I could not touch a book nor be close to print for over two years.  Filled as it was more than a year ago, the big, black plastic bag marked as treasure for my son sat in a friend's spare room.  When we packed up our chattel there was no room for the bag.  Pete promised to return for the bag when we were somewhere.   Time passed, and the pile of pearls mounted.  I didn't remember the bag was left behind, Pete didn't think the bag would inconvenience.

We are somewhere now and word got to recently that the bag no longer welcome.  Word word reached us that the bag was now in the way now.  Re-claiming it took significant time, energy and money.  Still, Pete remained steadfast in his belief the bag and its contents were of enduring value.  There were mementos of a time passed that had value to him, and his Cancerian nature to mother is his core sense.  He retrieved the bundle in time to open it up with my son and me this Thanksgiving just  passed.  The contents of the bag were varied and unexpected.  Memories, books, pictures and mementos--many of which I had released becasue they had been exposed to toxic moth balls and smells that are toxic to me.  When the three of us stood at the barn door where the bag is stored, time tumbled from it.

One irreplaceable moment captured in a faded color photograph was destined for Christopher.  "Thanks Mom, " he said recognizing the old photo.  He needed a refresh as to where the photo was taken.  He was not yet two years old when Mel took that picture.  I reminded him of the location and said, "Pete took great care and much effort to bring this to you."  "Thanks, Pete."  He wanted few others in the mix.  A small brown boy wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt held in the arms of a long-haired bearded man with sunglasses watched a woman with long dark hair, sunglasses, a plumeria lei.  The woman was whistling and the man and boy watched.  Patience may be my more valued pearl.  If not greatest or biggest no doubt patience has been the steadying quality over time.  Campbell's insightful counsel has been valuable to me at many times over the last decade.  Before MCS I read and gleaned meaning at a level that equaled my experiences to date.  Years later when the variables (time, safe place, re-newed self awareness and new beginnings), tools (information about MCS, boundary-setting, spiritual practice), our full attention (MCS can do that), and a substantial fund of patience were present I was able to read for hours Campbell's book Intuitive Astrology again. The book was part of the black bag contents.  There is progress in the pearl making and that is something to crow about.  The Universe works in miraculous ways.  As I finished this post, I sought to credit and link to Elizabeth Rose Campbell and her work.  I found this link and though saddened that her light is now bright from the other side, I count one more pearl that grows solid and strong with her counsel.  Thank you, mahalo nui loa Elizabeth.  I wonder how well you loved a whistle?

Whistling on,
Mokihana