Friday, January 21, 2011

Relationships

     Well, it is time to make it up as I go along.  A term I often use to describe my method of building something from scratch. New, used, sometimes borrowed materials and tools in hand plus the belief that it's possible to do.  I did not say when such a proposed idea will be finished because my life has yet to succumb to any ruler, yet finishing can make life more comfortable and fun.
 
     So Mokihana's and my Relationship includes the life skills, love, early childhood training, compassion, exciting possibilities, trust, individual and mutual choices, care and share,  willingness to be attentive, supportive,  belief in continuing education, kindness, occasional goofy/crazy, joyful,  plus love of the universe.   Keeps us busy and it turns out prepared us to live with EI and MCS.  Like a swinging pendulum,  living in a world saturated with chemicals/smoke/mold/cat dander/incense/perfume and cold,  we travel back and forth everyday from involvement with everyday life to isolation from it. The impact of an unexpected sudden exposure is unpredictable and often confusion reigns. I use the overly protective response and Mokihana will establish her boundaries while we muddle through when the world is swinging the pendulum faster than normal.  With our love and all the above, we rely on our Relationship to slow the reactionary responses, smooth the unevenness into calmness and resort back to taking all the increased  amount of necessary steps living with MCS demands.  Time consuming to the point of  it having a life of its own  because short cuts will restart the cycle all over again. The Relationship is the arbitrary/solidified, go to/fall back and expected/fulfilling life's gift, that together we have nurtured  with Akua's guidance.

     Borrowing from other chemical sensitve's life stories and learning through our daily experiences, I trust Mokihana's decisions of what is healthy for us and what is harmful.   In return I had to gain Mokihana's trust that the choices I make will not compromise our fragile existence. Lots of good intentions has posed the most challenges to our Relationship. I have become more sensitve from living this chemical/fragrance free life so I also participate in occasions of brain fog,  sometimes causing unnecessary exposures to us both.  These episodes have had a devastating effect me and I struggled to recover when most often  time would heal. Trying to determine the meaning of being dependent on each other and responsible to ourselves requires a calm open way of communicating with each other.  Knowing we can settle into a time for listening and sharing our feelings makes life so enjoyable for me, "time it is  time it was  a time of innocence"         

     The lessons have been learned only now waiting to be followed like me wearing a mask when subject to an exposure.

Pete

1 comment:

Mokihana and Pete said...

Thank you Pete.

While I was sleeping, you pieced together this expression. I am so often the one writing these chronicles. This is one that says so much of what it's like for you ... the partner.

I found this link http://www.ic-network.com/iclifestyles/january05.html from another source. It's also about the effect of MCS on relationships.

Mahalo honey.
Mokihana