New Moon Shadows

The sun played brightly with the wall of yellow, sending shadows of string, and charms, limbs bare, a forest and trunk slender onto its face. Another ocassion for noticing that the moon can send her message, her tattoos, into the day while others miss it, some have eyes that love that sort of message.

Look here for the door early on.

NEW MOON in Aries, tomorrow April 14, 2010 ENVISION NEW BEGINNINGS

The New Moon is a time to purposefully envision new beginnings.  In a wonderful and progressive way, we on Earth can tap into the energy of the celestial goddess and goodness of Mahina The Moon.  Our relationship with Mahina and the vardo sky above us, Pete and I learn to re-align or remember what it feels like to be in the flow with the universe and the hard wiring that was stamped into our natal astrology charts.  A couple weekends ago we were out in one of our favorite towns, Snohomish.  There we know a possibility for enjoying a Snohomish Bakery treat or breakfast in the sunny window seat is better than a kick in the keester.  'Getting out' is one of the major re-alignments that is a slow and deliberate activity.  Two years ago, there was no 'getting out' to join society; too many new experiences was re-tooling our knowledge base.  So, our outings to Snohomish have become a joy and a simple pleasure.

Though the trees had already begun their mating rituals (pollination!) I took a chance and thought a walk along the river would be worth the risk.  It was, at least for several minutes.  There in the middle of a quickly flowing Snohomish River were a quartet of ducks doing what smart birds know how to do:  "go with the flow."  It was instant inspiration and glee to see them.  The pollens were clogging me quickly but not before the birds lent their example to my love of nature's teaching.  It was perfect!

Today's New Moon in Aries is a time for us to get in the flow and set our intension with the added bonus of Aries' fiery energy.  Elsa P. one of my long-term astrology favorites has this to say about the Aries New Moon...

...Aries is the first sign. It comes rushing in so when you set your intention this month make sure to use the most of this inspired, fiery energy. Consider the house in your chart where the new Moon land (24 Aries) and look for a new beginning...
http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2010/04/05/transit-watch-new-moon-in-aries-april-14-2010/

The New Moon in Aries lands in Pete's 8th House of shared resources and rebirths.  The New Moon lands in my 3rd House of communication.  What do I envision for us with this next 29 days and nights?

I envision courage to continue honest communication about our needs and wishes for a place to live safely, sharing resources with people who 'get the conditions' of an MCS reality. 

One day at a time, Pete and I and others who live with Multiple Chemical Sensitivities walk a thin line of equilibrium.  Society has created systems that pave over the inconsistencies it would deem in need of control.  The construction industry depends upon pavement to erect its development.  The processes of development are toxic, expensive and costly to the health of all living beings.  This morning, the attached article was posted at The Canary Report.  It's the latest status of our friend Linda Sepp's living situation in downtown Toronto, Ontario.  Linda's eviction triggers the adjustment to my original post for ENVISION NEW BEGINNINGS. 

...For years, she’s been the last resident in an Ontario neighborhood slated for demolition by a landlord wanting to raze the area to build new. The place is decaying, crumbling and frequently vandalized. Linda’s house has a leaky roof and basement, problems with mold, a contaminated water pipeline, and a leaky gas stove (now disconnected). She doesn’t want to be there, but where is she to go?


The problem is, how does a disabled person with acute chemical sensitivity, who’s dependent on government assistance, prepare to move? How does a disabled person with acute chemical sensitivity secure and install a whole house water filtration system so she can bathe and wash clothes properly (not just for everyday health but also in preparation for a move); secure safe clothing and a washing machine in the first place (there is a reason why she’s naked in the photo, she only has about five articles of safe, uncontaminated clothing to her name); conduct a housing search and then properly prepare that house for an uber sensitive person? How does she do that? And if she can’t do it herself, how does she find a knowledgeable advocate to help navigate the entire process?
Link to read the entire article :  http://www.thecanaryreport.org/2010/04/13/lindasepp/

Many of us live on the edge, our precious ledge of safety tetters for any number of reasons, our world of stabilty fragile.  MCS is to a great degree a 'preventable' condition, contingent upon human decisions to step away from choices that do great harm.  My heart goes out to our friend Linda in Toronto.  My energy to continue is a store based on one day's parcel of energy at a time; and yet, I too slip into fear and I lose hold on the courage to dare to believe in something wonderful being in the flow.

How do you envision new beginnings for this New Moon?

The Year of the Tiger begins, Clearings done, New beginnings, Commit to your goals

The Year of the Tiger began with rituals of clearings and wonderfully inspired clanging and banging of pan lids with silverware.  Saturday night, just before climbing onto the futon Pete and I sat quietly with small sheets of turquoise colored post-it paper.  Our tiny vardo home/oasis bedroom newly cleaned, the time just before sleep was our time to commit to our private and collective goals/dreams for the coming Year of the Tiger.  A small and precious china bowl painted with violets, a piece of my long ago and treasured history sat empty except for the Citrine crystal that has traveled with us for a decade.  Silently we wrote words and images we see happening in our new lunar year.  When the sheets of turquoise were filled, we folded them words facing in (like eggs ready for fertilization) and placed them in the violet bowl along with the crystal.  "So it is.  Mahalo Ke Akua."  Our ritual of commitment complete, we ended with that simple prayer ending.

Using the void: New Moon Wednesday, December 16th

New Moon in Sagittarius arriving Wednesday, December 16, at 4:02am (PST).

CAUTION: If you're looking for an up-beat read, this ain't it!

If you have been reading my posts and the comments recently the dark night of the soul has been my reality. Astrologically Neptune the planet of illusion/delusion, fantasies has been strongly affecting my ability to act (Mars). It's not easy for me to translate the astrology of things, and yet, I keep trying to make sense of the losses and grief that pile up around and inside me. It's not pretty, it's not politically correct nor is it socially acceptable to mourn in the open. Wailing is totally a shunner and god friends and family just don't know what to do, or just can't know what to do when the grief of loss after loss keeps happening. As in, what do you say to someone you have known who is homeless or walking around with an illness that you really can't see? Oh, the mask that might be an indicator. I've had a thought recently that MCS Multiple Chemical Sensitivities is the Alcoholism of the Twentieth Century. Before folks like Bill and Lois W. began collecting and gathering the wisdom of the 12 Steps and serving coffee at meetings for the alcohol sensitive ... drunks were drunks were drunks. There was no understanding or support for the illness. There were no steps and traditions to recovery.

Since I have been in the rooms where the Steps and Traditions are spoken and the practices encouraged and supported, I'm a humbled believer and recovering family member affected by alcoholic sensitivities. Research and connections between alcoholism and MCS aren't something I know as 'science'. The knowing is coming from some other place call it intuition or a Neptune affliction based on delusion. What I recognize is the similarities between the despair and extended dark nights of the soul that overwhelm me as the same grief I have felt when the affects of alcohol were as plain as that troupe of elephants parked in the living room. Am I the elephant in the living room (or the Vardo, or the one behind the mask) ignored because people just don't 'get' it; or just can't/don't know what to say or do to recognize the grief and loss ? The path to recovery with MCS is similar though different. I know of at least one other MCSer who is both recovery alcoholic and MCSer. Whether there are others I only wonder about that now.

I have a therapy appointment scheduled in a few hours. For more than a year I have had a trusted and compassionate connection to a human being who holds my hand and my soul as I work through loss and grief. Her fees were accommodating to start with consideration for the illness (of which she also lives), and when my ability to pay shrank, her fees slide accordingly. Like an alcoholic thinking she can just 'cut back' I have tried to cut back on the support because frankly there's little cash left to pay for them. I called her this morning and said there was enough to pay for the sessions I've already had, and I needed to schedule another. She has been following and reading the blog and said, "I'm glad you're calling after reading how suicidal you've been."

Astrologer Julie Dembloski has a post on her blog today about the potency of the New Moon coming up this week. (the bold letters are my add) It was this post and those emboldened thoughts that shoved me into finally making that call to my therapist. The price of a soul lost to the potential of his or her inner value and outer contribution to life on the Planet can't be measured by the weights and measurements of a collective that can't speak my language, or walk in my shoes. Although I have made connections with others who live with the affects of EI (environmental illness) and value the compassion and support that I get there in my virtual communities. My Scorpio Sun with heavy Pluto affecting me, needs to go to the privacy of a trusted confidant and counselor. I pay my way (that's Leo pride, maybe) to "sort usable energies, facts, knowledge."

"... Considering all factors, this is a New Moon of potentials; the biggest challenge is to take the seed energies and sort usable energies, facts, knowledge, inspiration, images and visions, from delusions, fantasies, and responses seated in old hurts. One way to stay grounded (and thus make best use of these potentials) is to earth ourselves through the sign energy of Earth’s current position, in Gemini. This suggests we can bounce ideas off others, discuss, network, and fact-check, in order to see what’s truly feasible, and what may be a little too pie-in-the-sky."

What keeps you going through a dark night of the soul?

NEW MOON IN LIBRA: Amass the quality of nurturing not nuking

Before the new moon in Libra moves into Scorpio, I need to get the energy of empowerment and nurturing onto the wall. I felt the despair surrounding me and tried to sleep it off. After an NAET treatment to clear my kidneys and adrenal glands from exposure to a new environment, I started to itch all over. "Unmasking" maybe. Lately my muscle testing has been showing 'Herbicide' sensitivities nearly every day (not today though). I was exposed to DDT as a kid in Hawaii, and with multiple poisonings from Round-up in my adult life, the probability for more episodes of herbicides to unmask and reenter my blood streams (in an effort to detox) is high. And drinking two cups of coffee for the first time in years probably didn't help, either:/

I'm rambling to the point I hope will come soon and to get me there I'm linking to two posts written by my friend Leslie from the Oko Box. They are timely medicine for me, and such an affirmation: "We believe in the quality of nurturing our homes and our selves." On the night of a New Moon the potential to attract the energy you wish to grow in your life, is most potent when the moon appears darkest. A void (darkness) attracts light.

Here are the links to Leslie's two recent posts ... posts that inspire me to get this post on the walls.
Sustainable living
Girl in a (nature)bubble
Both of Leslie's posts ring with a voice of strength that is the other-side of her usually zany and light-hearted creative, elf self. Creative solutions will come from a combination of complex thinking and complexity comes from being able and willing to express a wide and deep understanding of the issues of being human and being human with environmentally induced illness. I celebrate your voice, Leslie. Celebrate your complexity (Libra and all!)

This afternoon Pete and I spent the day with our friends. We headed for a town called Sisters in the Oregon Cascades. Our goals were first, to meet a land owner who might be open to us gathering our three tiny MCS homes on a portion of her land ... to take the next step necessary to grow good community; and second, we were there in that pine forest to hike the land. It has been a very long time since Pete and I have gone on a long hike in clean air and new to us territory. I was prepared with my organic cotton and carbon filter insert mask. I hiked for two hours without it. The experience of being with scent-free friends, talking and imagining all manner of positive community while getting exercise and free high altitude (4,000 ft) air was totally different. The difference was so wonderful both Pete and I admitted tonight, we are afraid of it. Too long has it been since we have had two hours of blissful company and positive experiences. Is that a weird circumstance? To be so far from the experience of happiness that one becomes afraid of it? Fearing the shoe will drop/the rug pulled out.

Our life from VardoForTwo has been such a long string of struggles, the possibility for change is what we seek and yet the familiarity of struggle can wear too deep a rut and we fall too quickly into it. So, this post is a call to the void of Mahina (the moon) during this phase of darkness to commit to the lightness of positivity and possibilities. Teaming up/collaborating with friends who are equally and different motivated and intelligently focused on new solutions spreads the burden of a sustaining effort. Like I commented on Leslie's post on the Oko Box, teaming up allows for the reality that when one of us is down from an exposure or weakened spiritually from the effort, one of us will be less down or even up enough to take the next step or help shoulder the burden.

VardoForTwo is a tiny wagon parked now in a field surrounded by barbed wire. I wrote about that the other day. Metaphorically, the image has a 'concentration camp' vibe that I have just realized I don't like. I'm writing my way through that realization so I can enlist the support of the celestial bodies and maybe make enough sense to those who may read this. We are in this field because there was no other place to go ... for now. There are shortcomings to this arrangement, and yet this is not the final step. Like so many parts of this journey to a satisfied soul, the process is slow. We get tired, discouraged, sad, angry and add to that the looks of judgment that we get because we look different: brown not white, round not thin, dressed warmly not fashionable, and the grief could really start to stack up.

NASA sent United States rockets to the moon earlier this week, in search of water. Earth was a planet with water that could have been enough for all the right reasons and for season after season. Tonight, as the New Moon continues to affect Earth with her tidal magnetism, I leave this rambling post like a prayer flag saying, "This tiny wagon is enough to make a big difference. We are enough, just as we are. Bless us with what we need to make it so. Mahalo Ke Akua. Mahalo Mahina."

Good night, Moon.

DREAM COMING TRUE WEEK 9

clipart Credit: www.designedtoat.com

New Moon in Capricorn
Saturday, December 27, 2008
4:22am PST
6º 08’

Today is the NEW MOON, in the sign of Capricorn. The moon was in the sign of Capricorn when I was born. This new moon is an important one for me, and it can be a very important time for any one to use the energy of ritual and intention to set goals for the future. I am not a teacher of astrology. I am a student of nature, a new earth soul with a spiritual memory and connection with ALL THAT IS; astrology is one way I stay connected. To be honest, being human is difficult for me. I don't get 'being human' without a great deal of effort. Many of my early years and challenges have been lived toughing it out under cover, not letting on, keeping any errant emotions and 'judged' weaknesses closeted. That's an almost impossible way to be human and in my case those emotions have simply gotten riled up inside for a very long time, but that's what some astrologers refer to as the initial half of a Capricorn's journey ... a tough go.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivities have (plural ... many sensitivities, some not yet identified, others morphible) challenged my Capricorn Moon in an unlikely, yet uniquely right for me, way. I am in the second half of my life at sixty-one and I believe MCS is teaching me to COMMIT to being human. And human is not a solitary experience, like one of my favorite astrologers has suggested it's important to make 'suffering' public so the energy of the collective can shine on you. Of course, there is the down-side of that. There are negative forces who might prey on the weakness of your/my situation so Sensitives are often wise to remain protective of their episodes of grief. For me, on this DREAM COMING TRUE WEEK 9 post it's important for me to blather through and use the power of blog as a commitment to be human. Yesterday I had a winter melt-down and I let you in on it. I needed to allow myself the experience of grief, once again. Exposures trigger grief and fear. I asked for support from my long-time counselor and sister with MCS, my husband Pete, and my own dear self who knew the tired and true ritual of rest would work if embraced it, and not struggle. And through the blogsphere my favorite astrology consoled and reminded me the new moon is today.

I am better today, the fear and grief have passed, and taught me more about being human. The energy of the goat Capricorn inspires me to make use of all the Saturnian energy of this NEW MOON. Here is a link to a site I found very useful as Pete and I appreciate and prepare for our ritual of setting goals on the Capricorn New Moon: http://www.astrowisdom.com/thisnewmoon.htm

Transforming our life with VARDOFORTWO is a long-term project, a real, adult project that will need more than wishing to make it happen. So as the year ends, I think my DREAM COMING TRUE Posts will also change. See if you catch the change.

THIS WEEK I HAVE $25,600 which I save to build our dreams.

THE TEN THINGS FOR WHICH I AM APPRECIATIVE THIS WEEK ARE:

1. I appreciate meditation.

2. I appreciate astrology.

3. I appreciate goofy songs like "The Hampster Dance Song"

4. I appreciate clean air to breathe.

5. I appreciate the smell of pineapple upside-down cake baking.

6. I appreciate process.

7. I appreciate the moon.

8. I appreciate the sun.

9. I appreciate the ocean.

10. I appreciate Pete.