Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I am healing from the fall to the sidewalk just across the street from our vardo.  Two weeks, and oh so many moments and emotings.  I feel the healing take place ... where there was gut-bending pain, there is ache, the bone containing marrow now more sensitive to the cold I wrap her in a wool sock with toe cut off and soothe her.  "There, there old friend.  I care for you."

The storytellers of times long ago, not so long ago, and tellers now awake to the similar sentences that string together in my mind all come to the Waking.  I cry the tears and comfort the painful memories that show up to be acknowledged.  The old ones (memories) entwine with the present and tears make a salty bath salve.

If I could, would I be a woman who does not describe herself as 'living with a chronic condition/living with MCS?"  Probably, though the experiences are teaching the lessons of care for the self like nothing I could imagine.  "If I could be ..." is also the wonderful question and post with delightful comments on my friend Joan Tucker's blog A WILD PATIENCE. Joan lists a long and vivid sort of prayer bead poetry reminiscent of the workshop activity she encourages in her coaching life.  Joan is writing wakened poetry that infused with hope and spring-like joy after visiting her blog; just the emotions I would be "if I were an emotion."  And if I could be an element of nature ... I would be the morning dew.

Here's just a teaser of the list of "If I could be ..."Link to read the entire post ... you'll love it!

If I were a gem stone I’d be an emerald

If I were a tree I’d be a maple

If I were a tool I’d be a hammer

If I were a flower I’d be a lady slipper

If I were an element of weather I’d be a spring rain

If I were a musical instrument I’d be an oboe

If I were a color I'd be purple

If I were an emotion I’d be joyful

Another spring inspiration came from my DIY and wild places friend Leslie Richards author of the blog THE OKO BOX.  The inspiration Leslie shares is ongoing, as she dishes up a southern simmered kind of funniness and artistry that is Cajun at the bone, and Leslie unlike others.  Leslie has recently moved from one rural world to another.  She is newly home in her Luck Cottage ... in the town of Luck, North Carolina. 

One of her most recent posts included the fabulous photograph now our banner pic here at Vardo For Two.  "Inter-species" trees sang their songs to me when I saw them over at The Oko Box... I live that song my heart said.  So, between my very long time friend Joan and my newer and no less loving newer friend Leslie, this old gal with the sock on her arm gives THANKS, THANKS, THANKS to the kiss of spring wakenings.  Link to Leslie's post about them trees and then stay awhile to visit her blog and read how her new Luck Cottage is becoming home to the Cajun Elfess.


cjwright said...

Oh, Mokihana, I am so sorry about your fall and all the horrible things you've been through. I'm behind in my reading and came to see what you've been up to. Well, you've been up to too much. Wish I could make it all better.
I know how awful being in a cast is -- and I did it without MCS. You're in my thoughts, and I'll send a message to our lovely lady asking that you be looked after.


Joan Tucker said...

Glad you are healing in more ways than one. jt

Mokihana Calizar said...

Morning, CJ

Thank you for the kind and sister-moonly words. I never wore a cast during the recovering times; tending instead with methods that are less constrictive and intuitive.

I am healing and yes, probably 'doing' too much, though that is precisely what is required.
Aue (alas!)

Love, Mokihana

Mokihana Calizar said...

That I am ... in my deep-water ways I am healing ever onward.

Brian Miller said...

nice post...glad to hear you are healing from a fall...my mom broke her leg 3 months ago and it has been quite the process...

Mokihana Calizar said...

Thanks and welcome Brian ... healing up and it is a process.

Liberty said...

I'm so glad to hear how well you are healing Mokihana - and how gently you are talking to your arm. I think that can make a real difference.

I love the theme of "If I Were..."
I enjoyed reading that post and your own 'If I Were..." list in the comments of it!

I believe we CAN be people who describe ourselves as something not referring to health condition.

I think that what is at our core, the essence of who we are, has nothing to do with health(or lack thereof).
"I am a woman who loves nature, finds joy in being creative and values kindness and compassion."
that's me ☺
What's at your core?

Mokihana Calizar said...

Thank you Libby,
Happy to hear you went over to Wild Patience and enjoyed the thread of "If I's..."

What am I at my core?
Hmm... I am a lover of nature, mother of childish delighting, music lover and listener of stars; resilient and weak, strong and ever the learner for starters.


Liberty said...

That is a truly beautiful core Mokihana! A beautiful You.
thank you for sharing it - I loved reading it and look forward to read more if there is more... as hinted at by 'for starters' ;-)

Mokihana Calizar said...

Thanks. The more is in today's post. I hope you'll join in the Caravan.