The four nights and days of the 'Ole cycle according the Hawaiian Moon Calendar are pau, and they have been a very important time of review, restoration, rest and weeding our symbolic and real lives. Astrologically, things are happening for all (the collective) on the planet; and personally Pete and I have important issues to review and access from our physical place on the earth ... specifically, our position here in the field with Rescue Horses, barbed wire and our micro-home called VardoForTwo. Our choices, our relationships and the process of creating the life (individually and as a couple) we have is based on the years of choosing, the years of our interactions, and the process of getting ourselves into a very tiny home now parked in a field in Central Oregon. What we are doing is hard stuff, there is nothing (nothing!) easy about it. The four nights and days of the 'Ole cycle have been perfect times to do two important pieces of homework. The reasons for doing them boil down to this:
At the end of October (in two and a half days) Saturn (the planet of discipline, and control) will move into the Cardinal (down to basics) sign of Libra (balance, partnerships) from Virgo. Pluto (planet of birth and re-birth) is already in Capricorn (a cardinal sign). Uranus will shift into Aries (another cardinal sign). Cardinal signs mean we must focus on the things that the cardinal signs mean to humans and human "success" (in whatever form).
Four important questions need to be answered during this time between Saturn's move into Libra:
- WHO ARE YOU? (How do you present yourself to the world?) Astrologically 1st House
- WHO IS YOUR TRIBE/CLAN? (How do you define your tribe/family/clan?) Astrologically 4th House
- WHO IS YOUR PARTNER(S)? (Who is your romantic partners and who is your solid partner as it relates to the foundations of your life?) Astrologically 7th House
- WHAT IS YOUR JOB? Astrologically 10th House
Personally, the answers I have come up with to the 4 questions are (The short version):
Who am I? I am an old woman.
Who is my tribe/family/clan? My clan is my son, my husband Pete and my Island heritage and roots.
Who is my partner/partners? Pete is my partner and outside of him my solid partners are those friends who value me and my husband and will support us emotionally and physically with our needs as we age and require specific accommodations relating to the disease of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. My partners must be people who see healthy boundaries and boundary making as an important value; and we work together to set boundaries and respect them in ourselves and in our relationships.
What is my job? I am a storyteller, a publisher and blog author of life-lessons learned the hard way -- through real life. I am a digger and I will probably make you uncomfortable, confused or inspired with the cracks I discover.
The second piece of homework that I committed to during the past four days was a review and reflection on the past 7 years. Again, Elsa P. is the expert and astrologer who has much more convincing reasons for doing this 7 year review.
Link to the posts below for that information:
Pete and I are parked in a field with a dream of building community (11th house stuff astrologically) seriously dissolving into a reality check. Specifically, the check is ... can that dream be done from this field and with this arrangement? Also, before we get any further along (time wise ... winter is here, the passes are more difficult to cross or criss-cross) we need to look at what we have done and how we have done it and with whom have we done these things.
Before we can make progress, we have got to re-check our climbing equipment and look for any cracks in the foundations. There are cracks, so we needed to do the review with careful attention to details. (Virgo things). I spent the entire day yesterday, some of the evening last night reviewing the gains and details of our life(lives) over the past 7 years. The process and the patterns were revealing and then Pete and I went through it together ... more and more was revealed.
We are taking a break from the review as I write. Pete is playing a little solitaire, and then we'll pick up the review again. As I wrote in the beginning of this post, what we are doing is not easy. The past 7 years have been gut-wrenching and the losses have been heavy. Individually and as a couple these two old people have been through hell and back many times. I come to these blog pages and put (some) of these stories on the page. Two people who believe the best option for there life is to build and live in the world from a two-wheeled wagon and ask for 1) clean air 2) chemical free and fragrance free surroundings/and empathetic partnerships 3) physical accommodations that allow and embrace our life(style) require a lot from the world as it exists today.
This 7 year history review has revealed the cracks in our foundations. Like this:
1. Where have I been self-serving in my relationships (selfish and mean) over and over again? If that is a pattern and continues to escalate because now I am sick with this environmental illness, I see it as a crack in my foundation. I have got to do some changing with my relationships. The disease is difficult; but I am seeing that my ability to communicate through the difficulties of the disease/exposures are a vital shoring up process for me going forward.
Saturn is my chart ruler. With Saturn moving into Libra my relationships will be a key work, and it's my job, or Saturn will simply make it more difficult and the struggles will be even more.
Throughout the homework I did I reviewed and reflected on the 7 years with a focus on the areas of life as depicted in Elsa's suggestion to break down the 28 year cycle of Saturn into quadrants (7 years at a time). Link to that post for a visual of the quadrants.
In a nutshell, I reviewed the 7 years with the idea of looking for patterns of
1) effort relative to my family
3) hard work and service
I coupled it with the 4 questions from above. The research and review was legend and like I say Pete and I will pick it up again after I finish this post. Multiple Chemical Sensitivities is gaining in attention especially during the past two years. Bloggers and social networks provide incredible service to those of us who live with this disease. Diagnosing the disease is difficult and yet that is becoming more and more the 'norm' for more and more people who have not understood their experiences of loss/mental debilitation and emotional-social loss. Supportive community through the internet is now providing a different and new level of knowing and care. That is critical because any who live with this illness know, face-to-face support comes with its inherent risks ... even when a person has the best of intentions to support you, an exposure and a set-back is always probable.
What I attempt to do here with VardoForTwo is to offer a different sort of support through our experiences and include the navigational tools I find useful on our journey. Astrology is a concrete cosmic science, and for me, I use it because it offers a broad view. I am grateful to know that at this stage and age, I am able to use astrology as a tool. It is not simple, yet I have found a teacher and a community where I can hybrid my experiences and come up with something useful. All through the years (7 years in particular) of history-making, our personalities have been hard at work for good or ill. That's the thing about living with disease-illness that is chronic and not cured with pill-injection-surgery ... my personality is always part of the recovery, discovery and my choices are affected by the illness and my native personality.
Creating a safe haven community for people with MCS is a difficult goal. Who would know (for sure) until you try. At this point, Pete and I need to reevaluate and try to keep the communication process open while maintaining flexible and real boundaries. Navigation is difficult when the charts don't exist ... and so, I look to the stars and planets for charts that do exist. We made this expedition to Bend, site unseen. It's not the first time, but maybe we have learned something new this time and can look to our history to shore us with the confidence we need to keep believing in the journey. The goals may need changing but that is not a bad thing, especially if the goal has a crack in it.
Saturn moves into Libra at the end of the month. Do you know where the cracks are in your foundation?