Friday, October 16, 2009

Boundaries


Every window view I see from the vardo includes a fence-line and at the moment each of those fences includes barbed wire. A strange yet real example of boundaries. The temporary gate that allowed us to enter the field upon which we park is a make-shift contraption not easily managed. The barbs are brittle and easily mangle hands and shirts, especially if you go in and out at night.

This is day five of our life in the field, and we no longer use that gate to come and go. An easier arrangement with a solid railed gate opens easily and then we close it shut (to keep the horses in) with a length of rope and a bungee cord.

For now, this arrangement satisfies the owner of this field and we take the time to walk to the railed gate, empty our hands of water jugs, parcels of food and miscellaneous chattels, undo the rope and re-do the rope.

Our basic needs are being met:
  • we have electricity run the heater, air purifier and cooking appliances
  • we have a space to park our vardo
  • the vardo can be sealed tight against environmental exposure
  • there is relatively clean air with minimal wood smoke on most nights
  • the woman who rents us this space is aware of my sensitivities to chemicals and wood smoke
  • Pete has work that he can do; and the potential to do more/interesting work in the future
The complexity of living with MCS is difficult to explain and practice with any others who do not live with the illness. What to do about that complexity? I focus on caring for my needs with firm boundaries, while also being prepared for the uncontrollable actions of others. Like this:

  • the volatile organic compounds found in trees like juniper, and pine; and the sage brush are part of the nature of things here. I have called my NAET practitioner in Seattle and she has given me a few tips to help me adjust to the sensitivity of these trees/brush.
  • I'm taking time inside the vardo by myself to rest and refuel.
  • cellphone service is excellent here in the field; it allows me to be of service to dear friends(who call for support) and I can call them. It's an important self-care thing that has not been available for more than 6 months.
  • when I am feeling stronger, I can drive to our friends' home to soak in their deep tub and prepare some good food in their kitchen
Astrologically the planets are moving into places that reinforce the Earth's collective to know what boundaries are important and to practice setting these boundaries. No one else can set another's boundaries. Living with MCS has challenged me over and over again to know what boundaries must be firm ones; and which ones can be moderately set without damaging my body-mind and spirit.

Today, I take the time to recognize boundaries and set them for myself. I have heard this bit of wisdom recently and believe it is probably good food for living well:

Those who have learned and practice setting good boundaries, recognize and respect boundaries set by others.

2 comments:

earthwalker said...

"Those who have learned and practice setting good boundaries, recognize and respect boundaries set by others."

Love that quote Mokihana. Setting boundaries is one of my life challenges. I'm getting better at it.

Just wanted to stop by and send some love. xx Julie

Mokihana and Pete said...

Hey Julie,
Boundaries are important and like you setting them and respecting them (both in me and with others) seems to be what we can all do. Thanks for the visit and the xx.
Aloha,
Mokihana