Tuesday, April 13, 2010

If there is any doubt

"No wound does heal, but by degrees"
I am ever humbled by the quick change in the direct and pace of life.  It speeds up as one ages -- the pace that is.  Even though from the outside the eyes of youth might see my life as something less than rapid, time passes so differently today than when I was half this age. 

Since my last post I have been engaged in the work of attending to life, recouping and regaining equilibrium.  To update and also to chronicle (for myself, because without it I forget my successes) this very special heroic journey of R & R here I am at the keys and in the basement to make these notes.  For if there is any doubt that there is courage working through us this may help to bring it front and center.

Here is what we have done in the last days since posting:

1.  Continued to heal and mend a fracture to my arm and elbow. 
There is very little pain now, I am conscious of the daily ease with which I can use my dear old right arm.  I spend time soothing her my very used and recently injured dominant arm and hand.  The sesame seed milk has done its job of aiding in the rebuilding of calcium where needed.  Gentle massage and attention to how I use this right arm brings me back to mindfulness.  How much I do take bodily function for granted.

2.  I can do more cooking and have begun to drive again.
When I am unable to do the daily bits, Pete must take them on.  His is already a loaded share, so the increase is more than enough.  He does it and all else.  I feel guilty for it and on the best of days, I am able to forgive myself the weigh of guilt and it pases. 

3.  Pete is involved with this community in ways he has wished, and that gives us more diversity.
The community garden patch is growing nicely with Pete's help and the help of neighborhood folks who contribute their skills and their time.  It's a resourceful group there in Lowell by the river; I'm grateful Pete has that outlet and we have a garden planted with peas, onions, carrots and beets so far.

4.  The Canary Caravan Carnival is in the making.
Bloggers and allies have thrown their hats into our 3 ring circus as the May MCS Awareness Event here at VardoForTwo is planted.  There's still plenty of time to join in.  Consider contributing and being part of the sharing on May 14,15 and 16th.

5.  Pollen season is in full bloom here.
Last Friday I joined our friends for a dinner (a very big thing for us with MCS at this level of severity).  It takes a lot of effort to be vigilant about the exposures when I am with 'others'.  I made a choice to take myself inside the house for a Friday night dinner with 7 friends.  There were precautions made to get me to the table:  the gas stove and oven were used for dinner so the room was aired before I came in.  Usually I try for 15 minutes inside as my limit.  I stuck to that.  I made it through a dinner.  Sat at the table in a 'proper chair' and chatted while I ate fresh-caught salmon and potato dinner across from three friends.  That is a huge thing!  I asked for an open window to blow fresh air in ... that is usually a good thing.  Friday night that proved to be the wrong decision.  A bank of broad leaf maples and a lilac bush are in full pollination or just about to bloom and that combined with the contruction site next door combined to set out allergies and reactivity. 

I have been recovering from the episode using all method of R & R including NAET treatments, saline solution nasal rinses, Lomi lomi treatments, high levels of Vitamin C, increased drinking of fresh young coconut water, cleaning the vardo and basement(thank you Pete) of dusts and pollens, 18 hours of watching the Brit film series "The House of Elliot", asking our friend Doug to cut the lilac blooms and stowing them away to take to work and finally yesterday I ordered a tank of oxygen to have as needed. 

6.  This morning, I am back to the basement for the first sit down at the keys since Thursday, and the chronicle is laid down.  Doing whatever it takes to take the next breath, and make my way through the relationships that I have with people is a full-time job.  If there is any doubt life is full, I have only to look again at the words strung together here or look at the reality of life's character etched in my face, the face of my dear Pete.  Getting through the rough times of getting through an exposure is process ... messy and progressive.  I hope my healing is building on a foundation that needed reinforcing and humility may be my reward for learning compromise and cooperation. 

Is compromise and cooperation easy for you; are you good at it?  


Joan Tucker said...

no and no..

but I do them both-compromise and cooperation yes with much struggle.

My sister is back in treatment.. large problems drama.. maybe this time she will use AA .

I breathe in and out; tossing my stickie notes out the window and allowing the universe to reign supreme. I both compromise and cooperate if I do not it is at my peril. JT

Mokihana and Pete said...

That's honest, jt. I know today that c& c are my great karmic lesson so there's a window of opportunity.

Throw the runes and put the tea on!