Saturday, February 12, 2011

Change and Creativity--

From The Courage to Change
 January 3rd

" I am writing my life story with every single today.  Am I moving in a positive direction?  If not, perhaps I needtomakesome changes. I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present.  Going to Al-Anon meetings and practicing the principles of the program are some of the ways in which I am already breaking out of unhealthy and unsatisfying patterns of the past...I believe that my life is built upon layers of little everyday accomplishments...When I face a new challenge, I try to take my beginning wherever it may be and start from there." 
February 10th
"One of the effects of alcoholism is that many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires...Creativity is apowerful way to celebrate who we are.  It is spiritual energy that nourishes our vitality.  It is a way to replace negative thinking with positive action...Every one of us is brimming with imagination, but it often takes practice to find it and put it to use...Every original act asserts our commitment to living...When we create, we plant ourselves firmly in the moment and teach ourselves that what we do matters." 
Hi,  my name's Mokihana...
It's been several years since my last meeting in a room with the fellowship of others recovering from the effects of alcoholism.  Well, that's not true.  I did attend a meeting near us last fall.  It was my first meeting in five years, and the first one with my oxygen tank.  Going with my tank was not the reason that made it challenging ... I have made my way slowly out into the world with the tank.  The challenges are being in any room; and being in rooms with people who are 'scented' with all manner of fragrance.  I made the choice to drive myself because the need for program was powerful.  I was going 'to all lengths' to get to a meeting.

I did what I could to be there, shared when it was time to share, declined invitations to join people by holding hands and coming closer.  I let my story speak for itself.  The effects of being IN a room is long lasting though.  We have no laundry 'facilities' though I do hand-wash my clothes two-four things at a time, winter is not an easy time to get things washed and dried.  It took several days to recover from the meeting, and longer to reclaim my clothes.

I learned from that experience.  I'm not yet able to attend meetings and that attempt was another testing the waters.  The answer, "not yet."  At least not yet.  Life, and life with the Al-Anon principles of patience, practice not perfection have taught me to see that trial as an act of courage -- faith in action.  The program remains a tether of goodness for me, but the rooms were still a no go.  That's where CREATIVITY came knocking.

I know my limits more clearly than I have in times past.  Building the vardo, and learning that simple pleasures and progress take many, many steps I turned the meeting thing over to Ke Akua.  I lived my life.  Then the idea of bringing the meeting to the vardo came to me.  It wasn't MY idea, it was an idea sent.  Divine E-mail. 

I don't get around or out much any more, these days.  That might change tomorrow.  But, I have no control over tomorrow let alone any future.  What I could do, I did.  This AL-ANON post-journal is a creative way to keep my program of recovery alive and present.  Like the reading said, "I am writing my life story with every single today."

Would you like to share your experience, strength and hope?

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