Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Willing to be empty While waiting to fill up ... the astrology of it

It's one of those nearly perfect days in the Pacific Northwest America.  The air is clean, the wind present, sky blue and though it's not warm it's pleasant.  Pete and JOTS and I are making changes here in the forest.  The blogs are changing and it's an organic progress.  For me, I am challenged to let there be empty space.  Pete is busy with lots of other things.  He is responsible.  He works out-side (tending to the poultry residents, washing his clothes in the Gals' house, maintaining everyday life which is substantial); he volunteers at the local Food Bank garden, and he has a 'job.'  His blog 'schedule' is his and we have one laptop between us, so sharing is a big part of life in a vardo and a Quonset.  Waiting is a big part of sharing.  Seems obvious but there have been times, too many, when I have either lost track of why I was waiting (some say that's the place where I had slid into denial) or forgot that I was waiting it had been so long. 


I have lots of Capricorn, I'm used to hard climbs and long-waiting.  But it's my Leo placement of Saturn and Mars that just stirs things up for me and I get unruly.  Our composite chart serves us well I think, giving me an objective three party (the chart) when set-backs, challenges and the consequences of our choices bamboozle our best efforts.  Yesterday was a perfect example.  I wash my clothes by hand and do a few things at a time so what I do wash can dry in the small spaces undercover.  Yesterday I washed my favorite green turtle neck, and three other pieces of already well-worn clothing.  It takes most of a day to dry these things, so I draped my turtle neck over the heater to dry it ... ordinarily I'd be in the vardo while I dried something this way.  I was't. 

Long story shorter ... the shirt was left too long untended and the heated fabric filled the vardo with smell.  Toxic smell.  Any one with MCS knows the fear of exposure to your primary place of safety.  It's a big bad wolf kind of fear.  We were lucky.  The Air Gods were favorable, and we have been able to remove all the curtains, wash them, and they are drying over the windows now.  No neighbors burned fires.  We slept with all four windows wide open all night and today we are both recovering from the toxic hang-over of an exposure.  The process is long-standing takes lots of steps. 

We lose it, and get impatient with ourselves and one another.  From the composite I find this to point at as one reason we make it through these episodes over and over.  Together, we have Jupiter Trine Saturn


This is a stabilizing configuration that lends positive support to your relationship. You will instinctively know how to effectively plan your future together for long-term success. This is an indicator of longevity for the two of you as a couple. One of your most fortunate attributes is that you will be able to wade through the bad times and have faith that everything will be all right.

An excellent place to put this patience and stability would be into business, where you can keep any extravagance in check and lend support to the other in difficult times. This aspect combines the generosity, faith and luck of Jupiter with the discipline, practicality and steadfastness of Saturn in a balanced way that will strengthen your relationship.
It's that combination of 'generosity, faith and luck of Jupiter with the discipline, practicality and steadfastness of Saturn in a balanced way that will strengthen your relationship.'  Saturn is in retrograde through June, and we need to take time to reassess our goals and commitments.  Our relationship is based on being in the business of supporting each other on our individual soul's journey.  Linked with this illness, the sensitivity to chemicals and toxics (attitudes included) I am fired up with the energy of a partner who really supports my creativity.  MCS can and does regularly and easily drain the vitality of the physical self.  When both of us are exposed and vulnerable it's tough to stay supportive.  But, we do.

We have waited a long time to have a place to settle and spread our quirky partnership into a space.  The astrology of it permeates.  Our character is set in many ways, we have weathered many  spirals.  There are more.  I am excited and sometimes overwhelmed by my attempts to shine and start new projects like my blog It's All Compost.  Being willing to be empty is not easy, but I do it.  Pete supports my creativity and I his.  We are living a DIY life and thanks to the investment into belief and faith in navigational tools we see opportunities even through the brain-fog of yet one more experience with toxic drift.

How are you at being willing to be empty?  Does astrology help in your life?

Imagine credit: http://www.designedtoat.com/

2 comments:

Liberty said...

I hope you both recover lightning fast!

I am definitely not very good at 'being empty'. I tend to rush to fill space and time with something interesting or distracting or or or... just anything. I am trying to have times when I sit or lie still and just 'be'. it's a huge challenge for me for various reasons.

I confess that astrology is like another language to me - with MCS brain fog I can absorb any of it! I try to read and it just skims over my brain and bounces right off :)

Mokihana and Pete said...

Liberty,

We are doing much better today, thanks for the good wishes:)

I know what you mean about filling space with this, that, or, or. Part of the process of healing for me has come with more and more time alone in the vardo and now in the Quonset. Having spaces where the basics of safety are known and pretty much 'constant'I get to know quiet and support from Ke Akua becomes enough. Not always, but more often.

Pete said something similar about astrology when he finished reading this post:) It has taken me a lifetime to integrate astrology into my life.

I think it offers 'good medicine' if you can take it ... small doses probably better; and it's not for everybody.

Be well friend!
Mokihana